Why do some people get crushed by difficulty, like so many boulders smashing the life and kindness right out of them? Why do they turn bitter and sour and hateful, while others rise to the occasion and come out better than before?

We all like green pastures and blue skies. We like downhill paths and couches with remote controls and tests where the teacher shouts out the answers as we take them. But we also know that such things don’t require much from us and that things that don’t require much tend to inspire, build and produce just as little.

When life gets dark and difficult, when it gets dim and murky, when I’m disillusioned or frustrated or down, there are things I can do to feel better. But one source of strength rises to the top of the list for me.

Instead of trying to cram the messy abundance of life into neat little packaged moments of perfection, learn to laugh at the unpredictable and smile at the inopportune.

I remember hearing a story of a pig who thought he was a man. The other barn animals laughed him to scorn, held up pictures and diagrams to demonstrate quite clearly, and beyond refute, that the pig was indeed just a pig. Then the pig walked out of the barn, shook his head in disbelief, and drove off in his red convertible.

People will disappoint you. Be happy anyway. Life will throw you off your plans. Be happy anyway. Others will lie and lead you astray. Be happy anyway.

Why do we wait for anniversaries to celebrate marriage? Why do we wait for birthdays to celebrate births? And why do we wait for funerals to celebrate life? Why wait for the day of the event or the end of a life to celebrate what we could be celebrating daily?

Guilt is a tool or mechanism that a well-working conscience uses to communicate to the heart. When we don’t live up to our values, our hearts are pricked with guilt, shame and regret. But we’re not supposed to stay there, letting the guilt settle in and take up residency. It’s a warning signal in the dark of our choices that sends the message to course correct.

Does your moral compass point true north? Or is it a little askew? And how would you know? There are, of course, people now and through history who thought they were doing right when everyone else knew otherwise. So how do you know where your moral compass is pointing?

Has life been one unbearable trial after another? Have you been beaten up and chewed up and spit out by a history that has left you maimed, scarred and bloodied? Have you ever considered that the very pain of life has fertilized the soil of your heart to yield fruit it could have produced in no other way?

Life is really an accumulation of daily small stuff that adds up to one huge thing called living. It’s also called love … and kindness … and family.

Some people are preemptively dying more than actively living. Their minds don’t move much. They lay their dreams and aspirations on the bed and hide their opportunities in the closet and wait for life to do something.