NOTE: Before taking another step, go check out my guest post at My Super-Charged Life and leave a comment! It’s similarly called, 4 Life-Sucking Sayings to Avoid like the Plague . Then come back here and finish reading! The two together paint a more complete picture of what I want to say.
Common sayings are everywhere, used by just about everyone: “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” “Practice makes perfect.” “You are what you eat.” “Beggars can’t be choosers.”
Such sayings have been absorbed into the collective consciousness. But some sayings may have the unexpected consequence of limiting our potential.
Following are four such sayings to avoid … like the plague!
#1. “All good things come to those who wait”
The Meaning
Don’t be impatient. Wait. Wait your turn. Wait for circumstances to change. Wait for good things to show up in your life.
The Truth
Those who wait for all good things rarely ever get those things that are all that good. They get stale and left-over things from those who sprinted toward the things they wanted instead. Stiff joints and dull minds come to those who wait. Goals must be pursued. Futures must be constructed. Cathedrals rarely fall into place. To build the mansion of your life, you must actively participate as its architect and builder.
The Challenge
Don’t wait for life to reach down and benevolently pick you from the crowd to give you your day in the warmth of its generosity. Never! Go get what you dream of! Stand up and scramble to the front of life’s line. Create conditions that produce the life you dream of living even if it’s no more than a single step at a time! And start now.
#2. “Better safe than sorry”
The Meaning
Play it safe. Don’t take risks. It’s better to avoid the sorrows of failure by staying behind the safety of locked doors. Safety, after all, is the primary concern of life. So stay on life’s sidewalk. Don’t cross the street of possibility. You may get run over!
The Truth
Sure, if you’re talking about flying a kite on the freeway or pole vaulting in a lightning storm, it is, in fact, better to be safe than sorry. But most successes have been built on the trash heap of former failures. Disappointing results are learning opportunities that can catapult us over obstacles and into the kind of life we were meant to have, one more closely resembling our amazing potentials.
The Challenge
Safety is fine for those who are content to live comfortable lives of routine and repetition. But greatness (of industry, intellect, creativity or character) does not lie at the end of carefulness. It requires jumping off cliffs of all kinds – emotional cliffs and entrepreneurial cliffs and intellectual cliffs – into the unknown. It requires courage of conviction and dedication to purpose. It comes from challenge and internal revolution – a revolution of heart and of creativity, of insight and virtue.
Life is messy, after all. So be it! Don’t try to control everything. Bumps and bruises are part of the learning experience. Don’t resist it. Allow it. Even welcome it. And start floating toward the deep end of life.
#3. “If a job is worth doing, it’s worth doing well”
The Meaning
Perform your best work, or don’t perform at all. If you’re going to do something, give it everything you’ve got.
The Truth
Life is all about priorities. Time is a limited resource. We only have so much of it in a day and only so many days in a life. But the things that demand our time are almost limitless. Some things are important. Some things are urgent, but not important. Does it really matter if the garage is cleaned only fairly well? Does it really matter if the garden isn’t weeded and pruned just right? Sometimes a job done okay is good enough so you have more time to do the important jobs in life well.
The Challenge
If everything in life that we do is done particularly well, to the level of our best ability, there will never be time enough to take a walk, to write a book, to score a symphony, to rekindle love, to spend enough time wrestling with your kids on the living room floor. Sometimes a mediocre job is good enough to free up time to do the things that matter most.
#4. “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em”
The Meaning
If the battle is too difficult to fight, if the enemy won’t surrender, if circumstances seem implacable, put down your guard and join the other team. Stop fighting, stop resisting, bend in the wind, give up and give in. Adopt what at first you fought. Take on the characteristics you originally opposed.
The Truth
If they’re worth being beat (bad habits, negative attitudes, self-defeating beliefs, ignoble character, opponents to human freedom), never join ‘em!
The Challenge
Fight them! Overcome them! Defeat them! Transform them! But never become them. Never give in to them or welcome them. Never. Such self-defeatism will always lead to sorrow, frustration, guilt and regret. Instead, stand your ground. Refuse capitulation. Be strong. Stand tall. And stay on the correct team doing the right things in the right way. This way, you can always look in the mirror without the sting of shame and regret.
Final Thoughts
The words we speak can quickly become part of the very blueprint from which our lives are built. As we consider the words and phrases we use to describe life, begin to analyze those thoughts and beliefs that underlie the words we habitually use. Then begin to de-weed your vocabulary of those sayings that work to undermine the beautiful life you wish to live.
Now, if you haven’t already, go check out that guest post at My Super-Charged Life to see what other common phrases are undermining your potential!
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Thanks Ken! I feel challenged. I think we say all of those things because they have been engrained in our lives. They become our “go-to” sayings when we don’t know what else to say. I like #2 & #3 the best. Take risks! This is always a challenge for me. Make time for what is important! Sometimes this means doing the bare minimum in areas of less importance. Great advice. I really enjoyed this article!
Kim recently posted … Help!! I’m in Debt!!
Hi Kim! Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!
You said something here that I think is so true! We truly do use those phrases without thinking, as our go-to sayings, don’t we? I think that very fact is the nature behind the potential damage they can do to how we think about what’s possible in our lives. We let them gently slide in uncritically and seep into our unconsciousness creating artificial limits to our dreams.
I think most of us fear risk to one degree or another. And that’s a good thing. I want people to be somewhat risk-averse on the freeway while I drive my family around. The problem, of course, is when that fear stops us from reaching our full potentials.
Hope you are handling your fears well enough to keep stepping toward what you want out of life!
I’m thrilled you enjoyed the article and hope to see you stop by again soon! 🙂
Hi Ken,
Just left a comment @ Supercharged. You have continued your fine vein of form with this one too. (Old)sayings do become ingrained if we let them. Many of them can be placed in the “excuse” category. Life is different now with different opportunities. No3 can be looked at in different ways. I don’t aim to do mediocre nor do I particularly aim at being perfect, whatever that is……but if I am going to commit to something, I will give it my best shot.
be good to yourself
David
David Stevens recently posted … Where’s the “Cash”?
Thanks Steven!
Yeah, I originally had all the sayings in one super-long article and just decided it was too long. So I split it just about in half and threw one Jeff’s way and published the other half here.
I agree with you, by the way, that several of these sayings can have different interpretations. And I am with you in throwing your all behind what you commit to. I’m the same way. So many people, in my experience, though, commit to so many things they fall short in all of them. We just have to ask ourselves what’s most important in life to make sure that when we do commit ourselves, we aren’t overextending ourselves.
Sounds like you have that under control, though. Many happy returns on your commitments, Steven!
And thanks again for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!
I think you’re right with each one of these. I especially get irritated about #2 and 3. I have heard way too people say that you can never be too safe. They just don’t realize that you have to take some risks to really get anywhere in life. And as far as doing a job well, sometimes you have to prioritize. If there isn’t enough time, you have to just do enough.
Some people just don’t like to think about what they’re saying before they mention a cliche or platitude. Using one of them is just a shortcut. It’s much better to actually think about what you’re saying.
Steve recently posted … How One Experiment Can Make You Famous
Hey there Steve!
Agreed! Life is just too short to sacrifice the things that matter most at the altar of those things that matter less, but are time consuming.
I also agree with your statement about how unthinking we can often be when we use words and phrases that can dig their way into our thoughts and beliefs, changing how we experience life, to some extent.
Thanks for the comment, Steve. I really appreciate it!
Ken,
Number one is hilarious and true. I don’t think just waiting around is going to get you anything but bedsores. If you want to progress in life you need to take the steps to make sure you are progressing. That requires you to move. 🙂 This was a fun and informative post Ken. Thanks for sharing it.
Frank recently posted … The People Who Inspire Me
Hey Frank!
Glad you enjoyed and post. I love what you said about non-movement and bedsores! So true. And bedsores can come in so many different shapes and forms — emotional and social, professional and financial, intellectual and relationship bedsores — all of which hurt and cause problems in life. But all can be improved with a little movement in the right direction as well!
Thanks for that imagery, Frank. It was perfect!
i particularly like the first one – and i’m done waiting!!!! changes in my life only done if i get up and start making them. not wishing for good things to fall from the sky…
🙂
noch recently posted … letter to myself
So true, Noch! Wishing things happen does nothing to get them to happen. It is only in taking action, in stepping toward the things we want, that we begin to create the life we want.
Thank you for commenting, Noch!
And have a wonderful weekend!
Hey Mr. Wert! I’m inspired by your blog, and I always read your updates in order to find more inspirational ideals. Your belief that not everything should be done to the utmost of your own capability is a surprising, yet refreshing change to a high schooler’s state of mind. I look forward to your next post, and I should possibly be studying for your Unit Exam rather than reading this. Thanh says “Hi” as well.
Thanks, Andrew! It’s awesome to see you here! Now, of course, that principle applies to everyone else’s class — not mine! Haha!
It really is true though. It’s so easy to think everything has to be done to the best of our ability, so that often NOTHING gets done all that well because we become overwhelmed and run out of that most valuable of resources, time.
So you’re right, it can be a refreshing breath of fresh air to think that we CAN prioritize our lives and choose which areas of life deserve more and which ones deserve less of our time, effort and attention. Just be sure those decisions are consistent with your highest values and priorities. Otherwise, you’ll start to feel another kind of stress: Guilt!
Now go study! 🙂
Hi Ken,
I love this post as well as your GP over at http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/4-life-sucking-sayings-to-avoid-like-the-plague/#comments .You have dissected 8 sayings that, in my opinion can be considered cop outs. As you and others here have pointed out, these sayings don’t inspire…they CONspire to stop growth. I wasn’t raised in a family that used sayings so it wasn’t until I was out in the world as a school girl that I started hearing some of these sayings…and ironically, I heard many of them from my grammar school teachers!!! These teachers definitely taught us #1,2,3 from this post and #1,2 from your guest post. Like sages with their students at their knee, they not only taught our sponge-like brains the actual saying, they professed the sayings value and truth!! It is so important for us to believe in and live a life of possibility and, even more importantly to pass that on to our children in a life of example. These sayings contradict everything that possibility offers. The sayings encourage us to settle, to give up, to conform, to be deterred by change…is that how we want others to see us? Is that the message we want to impart to our children?
Ken, what I really loved about these two posts is that you address something that seems so innocuous on the surface….old adages…sayings that most of us have never taken the time to parse…and shown us how they can subtly and subconsciously affect our lives. Thanks for another great (2) post(s). Your ability to put words together eloquently and thoughtfully is a gift.
Claudia
Claudia recently posted … I Dream of Jeannie – Blink Your Wishes True
Hi Claudia!
Sorry, my hyper-sensitive spam radar clobbered your comment at first. But I’ve learned to regularly check my spam prison and release those who shouldn’t have been tractor beamed into that horrible limbo! I think it was the link to Super-Charged Life that doomed you by Akismet. I should change that!
And thank goodness I found you — what a wonderful comment you left! Thank you so much! 🙂
Speaking of eloquence! I love what you said about those 8 sayings being cop-outs and how they conspire instead of inspire. That was a brilliant line, Claudia.
I’ve been in those same kind of classrooms listening to the same sayings spoken as though from the mouths of the anointed.
I think the problem is that while the world is filled with educated people, it’s not a very crowded place for the wise. Smart people, unfortunately, are not always wise people. But wisdom, not necessarily intelligence or even genius, is what’s needed to recognize the substancelessness and even more, the insidious nature of those adages that quietly, subconsciously leak potential ever so slowly from unguarded hearts and wills.
Thank you so much for your inspiring comment. True wisdom there, Claudia!
I love the idea of challenging these time old sayings. They have sat uncomfortably with me for a long time.
Having followed some and seen life’s opportunities pass me by I am beginning to wake up and try to grab what I can.
Chris Richards . Mindnod.com recently posted … How to be more productive in the office
Hi there, Chris! Great to meet you.
That’s the wonderful thing about life, I suppose. It is filled with do-overs and late-starts. We have all missed opportunities. The trick is to learn from the misses so we can improve our opportunity-tractor-beam vision. 🙂
Welcome to wakefulness, Chris! It’s good to have you here! 🙂 Now all you have to do is decide which opportunities are most important to you so that you don’t accidentally drop what’s most important as you bend to pick up what merely seems exciting.
Have an awesome weekend and thanks again from dropping by and sharing your thoughts!
I think a couple of these can be filed under, ‘Dubious Advice’ that we all seem to get in life whether we ask for them or not, hey Ken? I know people are well meaning but most of the time they offer these from some failing or experience in their life and project that onto ours. My advice (paradox I know) is to not every give any advice ever if you can help it bar ‘find out for yourself’ because nothing is learnt and understood until you’ve been through it. You can’t grow unless you get to know.
John Sherry recently posted … Why ‘No Pain, No Gain’ Is Killing Your Sports And Possibly YOU!
Hi John!
We do get a lot of dubious advice, don’t we? Experience is the great educator, for sure. But I hope you continue sharing your thoughts (advice?) because like the old Buddhist saying goes, a wise man learns from his own mistakes, but a truly enlightened man learns from the mistakes of others! I I am way too mistake-prone to have to learn all of life’s lessons on my own! I’ll be too battered and bruised to enjoy the lessons! 🙂 So keep dishing it out so I can keep benefiting from your wisdom so I can avoid one or two of life’s lessons taught more personally and, quite frequently, painfully! 🙂
Thanks for sharing a bit of that wisdom here, John!
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So true sayings i love it
LIve life sayings recently posted … Live Life Quotes – Part 1