“Every man’s memory is his private literature.”
~ Aldous Huxley
In a recent guest post on Lori Gosselin’s wonderful blog, Life, for instance, I wrote of memory and the role it plays as a benchmark in our lives, acting to motivate, inspire and guide us through the bumpy parts of living. You can read about by clicking on the title: What Childhood Memory has Influenced You Most?
This is a follow-up post to the one you can find at Lori’s site, mainly linking it here to M2bH. But there is still more to be said about the power of memory. There are three that stand out above the rest that continue to influence my life and thinking even to this day.
Three memories that helped shape the man I am today
We all have memories that mold us as we grow. They play an important role in our lives, helping us make sense of life and our surroundings. They help us piece the puzzles of modern living together, providing us with an interpretive framework. Three childhood memories stand out to me as particularly instructive.
1. Playing hooky with mom
When I was in elementary school my mom would take each of us boys (there were three of us) out of school, one at a time, once a month to spend one-on-one time with us. Visit Life-for instance to finish that story and see how it shaped my sense of significance and self-worth.
2. Saturday morning work
Every Saturday morning my dad woke us up early to get started on another weekend of work: Sweeping the backyard, cleaning the pool, mowing the lawn (usually the neighbor’s lawn as well), trimming trees, cleaning the garage, re-roofing the house, scraping, sanding, painting, washing, waxing, trimming …
What it taught me: I know how to work. I have found over the course of my 46 years of life that there are a whole lot of lazy people looking to just get by. There is something deeply invigorating about work. Some people’s attitude about a day of hard work is resentment and frustration and exhaustion. Thankfully, that’s not me.
How it’s influenced my life: I get more done. I actually get energized when I work. I get into this flow that drives me forward. I enjoy working. I didn’t then, but I get a kick out of accomplishing a task, of completing something I worked hard to complete now. People who work out know that there is both a bad hurt (injury) and a good hurt (the burn of progress). There is a good and bad tired as well. But the lazy only feel the bad tired because they look at work as an enemy, a thing to drudge through to the weekend. And that’s too bad.
3. Playing sports
I began my athletic life at about age five … some of it willingly. It all started with swim. Then there was soccer, baseball, basketball, water polo, karate, tae kwon do, wrestling. Some were short-lived (basketball, wrestling), others I played throughout my developing years and even into high school (soccer, swim). One was started as a young adult (martial arts).
What it taught me: Books have been written about what we learn from sports. The three lessons that most affected me are:
- the drive to improve
- how to lose gracefully
- how to win graciously.
How it’s influenced me: I think I do a fairly good job approaching most of life with those three attitudes: working hard to learn and grow as a father, husband, teacher, blogger. When I stumble, I jump back up and rarely grouse about it much. And when I win, I share the spoils, thanking others who were instrumental in the accomplishment.
We all have these memories stored up inside of us, memories that often leak out into our daily living, memories of conditions or events or circumstances that have helped shape us as people, as parents, as employers and employees, as human beings trying our best to make a difference.
What are your memories and how do they affect you today?
Photo by Pixabay
Hey Ken,
I used to love playing hooky with my Mom when I was younger. We would go to the Mall and shop and I used to believe that the security guard might confront my Mom as to why I wasn’t in school. That never happened, of course.
I also remember my Dad was a hard worker, even after his job he was tinkering with cars or doing work on the house and I definitely adopted the same attitude about work as him and you too.
Haha! That is just too funny, Justin! But so true, isn’t it? — when we’re young, there was no difference in our perceived authority between a police officer, a cross walk guard and a security guard!
Wasn’t that the greatest, though? Just you and mom! What a wonderful message of worth and value!
I hope parents are passing on a joy of work to their children. I worry they aren’t as much as our parents did. As a teacher, I talk to my kids a lot about things unrelated to what I teach them in the classroom. And I’m always surprised at how few have ever had chores to do. I just think it’s not a promising development.
Thanks for sharing, Justin!
Hello Ken!
Holiday memories have been big in my life. The seasons of course play a huge roll. I remember my grade school years and look back at what a massive influence they truly were and how much they molded my personality today. My high school memories were not the same, yet the molded so much of who I was in my early 20s, which I’d like to forget. 😉
Lori wrote an excellent post on aroma as a memory trigger yesterday and that’s another really big thing.
Your memories and how they affected you are wonderful – thank you for sharing! My wish is that every soul would look back fondly on their own memories.
Great post Ken! I like reflecting and appreciate you encouraging that here.
Wishing you goodness and the best memories to take you forward as well!
Abundant kindness,
Elena
Hi Elena!
I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but your comments are just so heart-warming. Thank you so very much.
Yes, I’m with you on high school memories! I also enjoy thinking back on so much that was so wonderful about my life growing up. Of course, no one has a trial-free life, so I certainly choose which parts and aspects of my life to remember. But recently (really since my guest blog at Lori’s site), I starting thinking about those people whose memories are more dark than sunny and have started putting a post together to hopefully provide some degree of help and direction there. Memory is such a powerful thing, isn’t it? It can strengthen and motivate, comfort and encourage, or it can cripple our potential.
Here’s to memories that warm and inspire us to live our better selves!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts here, Elena.
Wishing you all the wonderfulness life has to offer!