“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV
A Very Strange Encounter with a Talkative Slice of Pizza
So there I was staring down at my food the other day when I was overcome by the impression that there was something very profound my slice of pizza had to say to me.
For a while, we just sat there staring at each other. I wondered what my lunch was thinking so close to its own demise, seemingly unaware of its predicament.
I have to admit I had mixed emotions about this unexpected turn of events. On the one hand, a part of me wanted to know what a slice of pizza could possibly have to say that was so important.
But on the other hand, I was really quite hungry. And since pizza has long been my favorite food, things were not looking very good for the pizza slice.
Cheesy Zenishness
It was at that moment of indecision that my lunch cleared its throat to speak (now at this point, you may be wondering how a throatless object could possibly clear what it doesn’t have. But I have to admit that I did not think to ask that question at the time. After all, my pizza slice was about to talk to me – I was all ears!).
And oh the things I learned that day from a slice of pizza. I discovered that my lunch, in all its delicious pizza-ness, waiting to be eaten wasn’t waiting at all. In fact, it was completely detached from my opinions about it in Zen-like equanimity.
My plain slice of cheese pizza spoke with naked authenticity, unconcerned with my acceptance or rejection of who it was even at its very core. Without pretense, façade or obfuscation, it simply opened itself to my gaze.
There were no hidden agendas or half-concealed motives. It simply, quietly, confidently was.
To Be Pepperonied or Not To Be Pepperonied, That Was NEVER the Question!
I learned that my cheese pizza slice never wondered why the thin crust slices were always so much thinner. It never worried about being pepperonied or unpepperonied. It never cared whether it was placed next to a brotherly slice of BBQ-ed chicken or Hawaiian pineapple pizza. It didn’t wonder if I liked one slice above another.
My slice of cheese pizza had no jealousy for the meat-lovers slices or envy for the supreme slices. It didn’t judge the Canadian Bacon … or itself, for that matter. It cared nothing about the stats that clearly revealed which brand was best or which topping was most favored. It never scoffed at the anchovy slices and never turned up its nose at the olives.
It was simply what it was. Nothing more. Nothing less. It was not confused by others’ expectations or guilt-ridden for being just a plain slice of cheese pizza. It didn’t care who liked or disliked it. Those who liked cheese pizza would pick up a slice, it sensibly reasoned. Those who didn’t wouldn’t.
In total Zen-ish acceptance, my cheesy slice of pizza never even thought about the other slices being more of this or more of that, one way or another.
It didn’t care that its crust was not stuffed with cheese or sizzling in olive oil or whether it came with this or that sauce to dip it in. It was, in a word, content. It had found peace in being a slice of cheese pizza.
Can We Learn What a Slice of Pizza Already Knows?
As my pizza slice spoke with monkish wisdom, I wondered if human kind could live that way, not caring what the fashion magazines said about how we should look, not worrying whether we are liked or disliked by this that or another crowd, self-accepting, content, self-possessed and at peace with the thinner and larger and meatier and crunchier and more popular people around us.
I wondered if that little slice of pizza hadn’t discovered something deeply and profoundly important to our happiness. I wondered if we would believe the message was worth the self-sacrifice needed to squish into oblivion the internal voice that criticizes and judges and condemns and compares.
And so I asked my slice of pizza how it was able to achieve such Zen-esque peace and happiness. It paused. I waited. It spoke. I listened.
It simply answered in unguarded authenticity, “I am.”
Old Habits Die Hard … When You’re Hungry
Sitting there, the scent of my lunch wafting through the air, I contemplated its two-word response and smiled. Then sighed. I understood.
And then my stomach growled a bit as if to tell me enough was enough already. I had sat down at the table with one goal in mind, after all. And so I looked my slice of self-fulfilled pizza in the eyes, smiled knowingly, grabbed it lustily and took a bite.
As I bit and tore and chewed and enjoyed, I became lost in all its cheesy goodness. And there, in cheesy bliss, I soon forgot the lessons it had taught me as once again I began to judge myself with harsh abandon every time I stood too close to someone taller, smarter, prettier, bigger, brighter, shinier, newer, better.
I watched my neighbor with suspicion for not being who I thought he should be. My wife became the object of doubt and concern when she wasn’t doing what I thought others in her shoes should be doing. My children once more were at the receiving end of my scrutinous eye.
And so I had returned to the prison of “I was,” trapped in the clutches of “I will be,” banned to self-imposed exile from the is-ness of “I am.”
Until one day when I was eating a salad and it seemed to me the croutons had something they wanted to say to me …
YOUR TURN!
- So, what do you think? I would love to here your thoughts in the comments below.
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Ken — the people I stand next to in lines are almost always taller than me and also have more hair. But they can almost never eat a slice of cheese pizza faster than I can. Coming to grips with my many flaws (insofar as we can ever totally come to grips with them) has been helped along by actually making lists of things I’m good at and then building time into my schedule to focus on them. After a while, you start to focus on what matters to you and less about what everyone else has or thinks. It’s a way of forcing the negative stuff out of your head. Good post — will try to remember it next time a slice of pepperoni passes under my nose.
Hi Stephen,
Oh, all our flaws! We sure have many of them, don’t we. I think part of the answer is to accept that we’re flawed while working to become less flawed. It’s accepting ourselves AS flawed human beings, resisting the urge to compare our worst parts to other peoples’ best parts. For me, I feel pretty good about myself with all my shortcomings so long as I’m fairly steadily working toward some personal development goals. It stagnation that makes me worry a bit. 🙂
I like your method of forcing the negative out by a steady diet of positive self-talk. It’s much easier to replace a habit than to simply remove one.
Thanks for the awesome comment, Stephen!
I love this! Why is it that we humans seem to be the only thing on earth that has all these hangup’s? I’ve done therapeutic work where we use horses to help people and we applied the same principles. The horses simply were. It was the humans who made up all kinds of stories about them and life. And horses have a wonderful way of calling us on our BS.
What would life be like if we could have our ego surgically removed so that all we saw and experienced was the present moment, without judgment? I do my best to live that way but frequently catch myself expressing its ego. 🙂
After reading this I’m looking at everything around me in a whole new light. Thanks Ken!
Paige | simple mindfulness recently posted … Don’t Let Your Dreams Die – Here’s How You Can Help Yourself and Many Others
Thanks Paige! So glad you enjoyed my vacation into the whimsy. 🙂
I love that you used horses to call people out on their BS! We do swim around in a lot of it, don’t we! Ego, pride, fear, that voice in our heads that keeps whispering things like, “You’re not good enough,” “They won’t like you if they REALLY knew you,” “You’re not as good as they are” keeps so many people trapped behind their facades and pretenses.
Let me know if you ever find that surgical procedure. We all at least periodically fall prey to our puffed up egos. For now, if we can learn to send them to their rooms without dinner more often, perhaps that will do for now. But keep looking for that surgeon! 🙂
Thanks for the comment, Paige. Always so insightful!
Ken I love your posts.It is so nice to see that I am not the only person that talks to other than people. I was about to say inanimate objects but ‘not people’ is a more accurate description.
I am is indeed a very powerful place to be. Popeye taught me that. “I am what I am that’s all that I am. I am Popeye the sailor man.” Of course over the years the I am part has come to mean many things.
Thanks for the great reminder. Being from NYC I am glad to hear you eat plain cheese pizza. When I was a kid growing up in NY plain slice was the REAL thing.
Have an awesome weekend!
Aloha from Tokyo,
Susan
NYC, Aloha, Tokyo. What an international phenomena you are, Susan! 🙂
Did you live in Hawaii for a while? I have relatives there, on one of the smaller islands, Molokai. I’ve been to Tokyo too, though only for a day. Most of my time was down south (Hamamatsu and Kyoto) as an exchange student oh so many years ago.
I totally forgot about Popeye! A flood of memories! And so true about his Popeye-ish philosophy: “I am what I am.” What a sea-change in self-concepts would wash over the world is we all adopted that perspective.
Great comment, Susan!
I totally enjoyed your story – it’s like a short story. And I get it totally. I teach my children this all the time. Other people’s things are theirs. You don’t know what they had to do to get them – or they may have been given them.
The only way to be happy with what you have is to appreciate that it’s yours. Others will always have more, less, different. It’s what makes life interesting. I stand next to people and it’s great to be happy with what/who I am. I’m always the thin tall one.
Whatever we are, we’re always better at it than others are. The bottom line is, no one is as good as being us than we are. This alone calls for a celebration!
Anne recently posted … Change Your Life
Oh I like that, Anne: “Whatever we are, we’re always better at it than others are.” Nicely said. So yes, let’s celebrate!
Still there are so many people who look in the mirror and cringe, shrinking from the reflection like they were kicked in the gut. They see ugliness and disappointment where we see beauty and possibility in them.
So much needs to change, mostly all of it upstairs in the head, in how the world is seen and their lives interpreted, for such wonderful people who are so lost and feel so alone and repugnant to awaken and love life and themselves in it.
To adopt that attitude, to be able to say, as Susan above reminds us, “I am what I am and that’s all that I am” and to say it without disdain, but with love and acceptance, that would be a magic button I would push if it were available.
right in time, i am searching for inner peace since a while now
very well written Ken
Thanks Farouk. I think it comes with self-acceptance, a clear conscience, a strong character and discarding the human tendency to judge and control and compare and a spiritual connection to the Infinite. It also comes with patience as we work on developing those traits and characteristics.
Great parable Ken. The question I always ask myself these days when I encounter my neighbour not being who I thought he should be etc. is: so what’s in MY consciousness that I experience this? ‘Cos I’ ve learned there’s no-one to change but self if I want to have different experiences.
Elle
xoxo
Elle recently posted … New Shoes – New Life?
Thank you, Elle! What a great way to challenge our judgments and prejudgements. It’s a variation of the Biblical injunction to remove the beam in the eye before worrying about the specks in other peoples’ eyes. So true that we can only change ourselves. So we’re the only real project we have to work on. And yet we find ourselves so often trying to change others!
Thanks so much for that reminder, Elle!
Ha! Every time I think you couldn’t possible top some post, you do! This was great. Funny and wise–powerful combination. I will never look at my food the same way. You are the master.
Haha! Hope I didn’t ruin your pizza-eating future! 🙂
Thank you so much for all your support. It means a lot, Galen. So glad the post worked for you. I wasn’t sure whether people would find it funny and helpful or just plain weird. But it was sure fun to write!
Mr. Wert! Do you remember me? I’m your favorite student from c/o 2006 hahaha just kidding! My little sister (Chau Nguyen) told me about your blog. After reading this post, I am amazed. I love how you relate life and make it so comparable to a slice of pizza. Who would ever think of that?!?! It serves a great reminder for us to accept who we are and embrace who we are to the fullest.
I’d like to share one of my favorite quotes with you, and I’m sure you’ve heard of this quote before:
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
I’ve memorized this quote by heart, and recite it almost every morning. Your post relates to this quote. Now, whenever I think of this quote I will think of the slice of pizza. Heck, whenever I eat a slice of pizza, I will now think of you and this post! Eating pizza will never be the same anymore. 🙂
Chau told me you wrote many inspirational posts. This is the first post I’ve read from your blog, and I am already inspired. I look forward to reading the rest
I hope you and your family are doing well. Take great care!
“Thu Nguyen or not Thu Nguyen, that is the question!” Remember that? Of course I remember you!!! I frequently ask Chau about you. Sounds like you’ve been having some amazing adventures. You’ll have to email me or (better yet!) drop by some time to update me in person on everything that’s been going on since 2006! 🙂
What a great Emerson quote, Thu. And what a great way to start each day. Nothing quite like waking every day to a little Emerson inspiration!
I’m absolutely thrilled you wandered by my blog, Thu. I hope to see your name in the comments of past and future posts as well. I would love to hear your take on what I write about.
As for my family, they’re great. Thanks for asking. My daughter is pregnant with my first grandchild. It’s a girl. Can you believe it? Anyway, stop by or email me for a more comprehensive update!
Have a wonderful weekend, Thu!
Oops! Got it wrong. I just remembered, it wasn’t “Thu Nguyen or not Thu Nguyen.” It was “Born Thu Nguyen!” 🙂
*Love* the biblical reminder of removing the beam from our own eye. And wanted to add I also enjoyed your humour and a piece of zen pizza to boot. 🙂
Elle
xoxo
Elle recently posted … New Shoes – New Life?
Thanks so much, Elle! I’m so glad you liked it. Frankly, I was laughing while I was writing it myself, but you never know if others will appreciate your sense of humor, mine anyway. I’ve been told it’s, well, “quirky” is a nice way to put it. 🙂
Have a wonderful day, Elle.
Reading this post gave a insight… that I haven’t had Pizza for a while.
Kidding aside, I was at awe as I went through this post. The correlation of Pizza to inner peace as really great!
Peter recently posted … review of jamorama software
Haha! Yes, Peter, I am also pizza deprived! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. Much appreciated.
If we could just be more self-accepting, not complacent in our personal growth, but accepting of our own imperfection, okay with where we are while we work to develop those traits we still lack. Then personal growth will be something we look forward to instead of beating ourselves up for not yet being this, that, or another kind of person.
I read this way too close to lunch time. If I wasn’t starving before, I am now! Thanks Ken. 😉
Ha ha but really..Great post! It’s funny, we can find messages like this just about anywhere. I experienced a similar message out in the woods – the birds weren’t trying to be squirrels, the trees weren’t comparing height – they just were! Never thought of it with a piece of pizza though. Very cool 🙂 And now I’m off to try to squash my craving with almonds…
Kaylee recently posted … How to Get Through a Bad Mood Without Ripping Your Hair Out
Haha! Yeah, I was hungry writing the post. And then when it came to looking up pizza pictures, well, let’s just say my stomach began talking to me too! 🙂
You’re right about all the messages and life lessons all around us, in nature, industry, people, everywhere. I love yours, the trees not fighting over height or the squirrels trying to be something they’re not.
Thanks for the great comment, Kaylee!
Hello Mr. Wert,
I know it’s been a while since we have spoken but I wanted to say that I’m pleasantly surprised to see you blogging. My old civics teacher making a splash on the internet–who woulda thunk? And I wanted to say that your blog is very inspiring and I hope I make a habit of coming back often to continually become inspired. Keep up the good work and congrats on winning the award for the best personal development blog 2011. Also, good luck on the collaborative e-book you’re working on. Hope everything is swell!
-Tracy Meow
Hi Tracy!
Yes, it has been a long time. Hope all is well and wonderful on your side of the block!
Yeah, who woulda thunk! Haha! It’s been such a fun ride. I’ve really fallen in love with what I do here. I have an amazing son-in-law who takes care of my coding issues (not very tech oriented, as you well know!), so mostly all I do is write, write, write.
So glad you found inspiration here. That means a lot to me, Tracy. As for the eBook, it’s taking much longer to edit than I thought it would. But hopefully I’ll have it ready sometime during the summer.
Look forward to seeing you drop by again … soon! 🙂
Ken:
Interesting read here. You and Mr. Cheezy Pizza really had a good conversation. I wish my pizza would have that conversation with me because there have been times when I really needed it.
Lately, I have been doing good. I dropped some bad habits that were not doing me any good. I have also found that it helps to find positive music. There is so much music in this world and I feel like one can never have too much of it. It puts me in a good mood when I am not feeling so well.
At the end of the day, there is peace within being happy to be just who we were born to be. It is too hard to fake, imitate or try to be another. On the other hand, it is not always being ourselves, but if we give it a try sometimes then we might just see it is not so bad.
William Veasley recently posted … Hello World!
Hey William,
Good to see you. Yes, me and Mr. Cheesy Pizza! Haha! We’re tight like that!
So glad my cheesy adventures were so timely. And even better to hear some bad habits were dropped. Congratulations. Taking those steps can be hard, but so rewarding in the long run. I’ve had to drop a few of my own in my day. 😉
That is so very interesting the way you worded this: “there is peace within being happy.” I’ve never exactly thought of it that way, but you;re so right. There certainly IS peace in happiness. Those principles that create happiness also add peace to our minds and hearts and soul. But there is also peace of mind in not having the emotional struggles that undermine our happiness. Very well put, William. Thanks for that bit of insight!
wow! the imagination you have!! 🙂
i speak to my food sometimes but have not listened to them. maybe i need to keep quiet next time
love the metaphorical article
Noch Noch
Noch Noch | be me. be natural. recently posted … delusional
Hi Noch Noch,
You should hear the conversation my cereal and I have every morning! 😉
So glad you liked the article. It was fun to write.
Another great post, Ken. Love how you connect things. Great metaphor!
Lorii Abela recently posted … Finding a Soul Mate: Are You Afraid of Letting Go?
Thanks Lorii. It was fun making the connections, working through the conversation, hoping the point comes across to the reader. So glad it did.
So simple yet so often overlooked. I needed that!!
When someone writes an post he/she retains the idea of
a user in his/her brain that how a user can be aware of
it. Thus that’s why this post is great. Thanks!
peaceful warrior quotes recently posted … peaceful warrior quotes
Peace of mind is very important now the days, Not only to keep our mind healthy it is for focus on the dreams and desire of life.
Jakes Pietro recently posted … Raise Your Vibration with Powerful Law of Attraction Meditation
I love this. There is nothing more important than having an inner peace because with inner peace you will still be looking nice without eating. Thank you for sharing this with us.
This was an interesting read! Comparing pizza with inner peace. This is how we learn from the university of life. Life teaches us more than any school or university would.
Your pizza encounter is a delightful reminder of self-acceptance. Amid life’s judgments, that cheesy slice teaches profound wisdom. May we all embrace “I am” with pizza’s simplicity. Thank you for sharing this slice of insight, Ken Wert.