“Dream and give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be.” ~ Joy Page
Are you your worst critic? Do you find it hard to give yourself some slack? Do you beat yourself up over small matters? And are you tied up in knots because of it?
Sometimes, we just can’t seem to give ourselves permission to be human. We demand so much of ourselves.
But if Life could speak, I believe it would likely be a bit more generous and kind than we sometimes are in this regard. In that light, then, I’ll risk the arrogance of speaking for Life to grant you the permission you sometimes withhold from yourself to simply be human.
I, Life, hereby grant you the right to be all and every one of the following, in any order or combination at any and all times.
I therefore grant you permission …
1. to be human and possess the foibles and weaknesses that being human implies
2. to be wrong, even if you’re afraid to admit it.
3. to disagree without justification simply because you have the right to disagree.
4. to live life on your terms, to reach and stretch and grow and become.
5. to be imperfect at love, to be imperfect at parenting, to be imperfect at life, but to be the perfect you.
6. to fail once, then twice, then a third time, and over and over again after that.
7. to try again as often or as infrequently as you feel you’re able.
8. to sing beautifully or horribly, but to sing out loud without fear or shame.
9. to be silly with your kids, or your spouse, with your friends, or yourself.
10. to be illogical and wrong and frustrating and emotional.
11. to fall down and take the needed time to brush off and get going again.
12. to work longer than others without worrying about labels and name calling, jealousy or resentment.
13. to work shorter than others as you discover time-saving tips and think creatively about work and success.
14. to be good enough as you are, while always working on the blind spots of your life.
15. to create and be creative, to experiment and invent and ad lib and innovate and change things around.
16. to be quiet and sit or think or just be.
17. to speak up and speak your mind and speak without raising your hand.
18. to laugh until it hurts.
19. to cry until it doesn’t hurt anymore.
20. to put your elbows on the table of life and keep the napkin off your lap and break other conventions that have no bearing on decency.
21. to stop on your way to your goals to chat with a neighbor or look at flowers blooming along the way.
22. to stroll through life at your own pace.
23. to write a poem even if you don’t know how to write one.
24. to require others to treat you with dignity and respect.
25. to remove “friends” from your life who refuse to.
26. to live a life of boldness and creativity and character.
27. to let your hair down, unbottle your personality and free yourself of self-imposed expectations of comportment.
28. to feel the rhythm of life course through your body and soul as you connect with the world.
29. to have impractical friendships with impractical people.
30. to smile … lots … big … even when it doesn’t make sense to smile.
31. to seek help from friends or doctors or therapists or coaches or priests or pastors without shame and without embarrassment.
32. to tell the truth without fear, without hesitation and without the need to remain with those who can’t accept the truth about you.
33. to grow, to change, to transform, to become a different person than the one you started out being.
34. to drive on the wrong side of the street of life.
35. to stand for something and hold your ground and live with purpose.
36. to say no and mean it.
37. to say yes and do it.
38. to reconsider and change your mind on principle.
39. to grab hold of life and wring every last drop of juice from its opportunities and possibilities.
40. to rekindle romance in your life.
41. to have as many children as you can love and afford.
42. to be bold and assertive and ask for what you want from life and from others and from yourself.
43. to be kind and giving and loving.
44. to soften your heart and live vulnerably, open to pain by being open to love.
45. to befriend the friendless.
46. to love yourself.
47. to forgive yourself.
48. to trust your instincts.
49. to fill your life with love and friendship and happiness and joy.
50. to live out the poetry of your life.
51. to never need my permission again to allow yourself this and so much more as you reach for your potential and uncover your magnificence and free yourself to become the person you were meant to be, living the happiness you were meant to live.
Please share your thoughts in the comments.
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Photo courtesy of Pixabay
Ken this is beautiful! How do you think of these wonderful posts!?
It’s funny, I’m in a rush so came to just tweet it out via LFI and then I got caught up in it. Today I blogged about your #3 LOL Any one of these could be a post in itself!
NOW I’m going to tweet it out!
Lori
Hi Lori!
That’s funny! I just came from posting a comment on your site! Excellent topic, by the way (if you’re reading this, head on over to Lori’s place and leave a comment there! I’ll wait. But hurry back!). But can’t tweet it yet. I’m still at work (after hours, though) and social media is blocked here.
Thank you for all your support, Lori! I’m so glad you enjoyed the read! Hmmm. Each one a post, huh? Does that mean I would have to add more words to each line, or could I post each one as is? 🙂
This post was extremely helpful to me! I constantly feel stressed out, behind in just about everything I do in life, and very insecure. I could easily blame it on a lot of things but in the end, it’s because of me!! I’m the one causing the stress!!! I set unrealistic expectations for myself, or I set goals to be met in an unrealistic time, critique myself to no end, and either stress out about the past, or worry about the future. But after reading this, it makes me realize that I can be way too hard on myself sometimes which doesn’t allow me to enjoy so many things in life, including the simple and beautiful present moment. This post is such a great reminder that we need to cut ourselves some slack! I avoid doing that because then I feel like I’m being lazy or making up excuses, but really, maybe I just need a breather. Anyway, thank you so much for all those 51 permissions! When I was reading it, I was actually thinking what I would write down if I made a list like that. Maybe I will, that would make a good journal entry! 🙂
It’s wonderful to have you here, BWJ.
I know exactly what you mean. To some degree I can be like that too. But where is the push coming from? I enjoy challenging myself, pushing myself, waking up early to get things done, to learn and grow and drive myself closer and closer to my goals. It is an internal drive to be the best I can be, not in relation to anyone else, though. I’m challenging myself to be a step or two better than I was before. That shouldn’t produce the stress you’re feeling.
See yourself as an amazing, wonderful, talented, beautiful person. Period. Not compared to this or that person or to who you could have been if this or that condition would have existed. But just as you are. Now. By yourself. Accept that. Let it enter your mind and your heart and settle down into the inner most part of your soul. Then, in that moment, it won’t matter who is more or less this or that. You are, of yourself, the perfect you that has ever existed.
You are wise to come to the conclusion that allowing yourself the right to be human, to cut yourself slack, is not likely to lead to laziness and excuses to slack off and do nothing. You don’t sound like you are the type. As a matter of fact, you will be able to better focus and feel the joy that comes from living life in the daily moments, not just in search of some future imagined condition.
By the way, I love that you keep a journal! I’ve heard it said that a life worth living is a life worth recording.
Thank you so much for stopping by and for leaving such a thoughtful comment. I deeply enjoyed reading it and relating to it.
Please come again. It was a pleasure meeting you!
These are wonderful permissions, Ken. But I fear that permission is not enough. You must charge us with the duty to do. [grin]
Stan Faryna recently posted … Do you ignore the road signs too? And other social media DOHs.
I like that, Stan!
Hello and welcome to M2bH! What a great point you make. We are more than allowed to do such things as posted, we have a duty, at least to ourselves, to do them.
I should have named the post, 51Calls to Duty!
Thanks for the insight, Stan!
Ken, all I can say after reading this post is this: I feel like waltzing with you. Lori is right about each one of those being a post on its own – an editorial calendar that rocks! This post gave me a very very warm and fuzzy feeling. 🙂 Now let me see how many more people I can get to read this! 😀 I really ought to do a weekend roundup!
Big hugs to you!
Vidya Sury recently posted … The Haiku Challenge 2012 – Day 11 – Vision
You are just way too awesome, Vidya!
I suppose the first step will be learning to waltz! Unfortunately, I have two left-feet, which is an insult to all left feet! 🙂
Perhaps I should come back and browse the permissions for post ideas. Thank you for the warm fuzzies back my way, Vidya!
And thank you for your kind support!
This is such a beautiful list, Ken!
Lately I’ve been finding that I’m getting better at allowing myself many of these permissions. While some are easy, some are more difficult.
Like you, I have that internal drive to push myself a little farther each day. Unfortunately, I frequently get stressed because I want to be able to do more. Life is so short and there’s so much that I want to accomplish. I’m not comparing myself to anyone else. I just know that I’m capable of so much but have to remember that I’m only human. If I could just figure out that cloning thing… 🙂
Paige | simple mindfulness recently posted … Simple Steps to Create More Freedom For Yourself
Haha! Ah, to be cloned!
Hi Paige,
I think I would prefer to stop time so I could get more done than to be cloned. I’m too greedy to want to share the process of doing the things I love even with another me! 🙂
But we’re smack dab in the middle of the exact same boat on this one! I want to spend tons of time with my family … and write my next eBook … and keep updated on my posts … and do all the social media stuff to promote what I write and connect with awesome people like you … and work out … daily … and do things love to do like hiking … and get my blogs business side working for me … and have friends over more often … and, well, there’s simply not enough time in the day for it all. Hey, if you ever come across a promising-sounding time machine, let me know. I’ll go in halvsies with you!
But in the meantime, let’s keep giving ourselves those permissions. Life just feels better that way, right?
Have a wonderful week, Paige. I’m sure glad our paths crossed. You’re a gem of a person.
Ken,
Given everything you’re trying to pack into each day (we seem to have the exact same list)….I think I just met my clone (except you’re male :)). You’re a complete gem too! I’ll go for the time machine as well!
Paige | simple mindfulness recently posted … Simple Steps to Create More Freedom For Yourself
Awesome! If your my clone (and I’m inclined to agree), I’ll start napping more and send you my to-do list! 🙂