“It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.” ~Bill Gates
Just as there are specific actions we can take and attitudes we can harbor to increase the likelihood of a successful life (in whatever aspect of life we’re seeking it), on the flip side, there are specific actions and attitudes that can increase the likelihood of failure as well.
Below are some of those steps and attitudes that can lead to abject failure in life. The point is, of course, to know ahead of time exactly where the cow dung in the field is to avoid stepping in it.
21 Easy Steps to Abject Failure (or 21 attitudinal dung hills to avoid for a better life)
1. Criticize instead of fix
Fixing problems is hard work. Even suggesting solutions takes some effort. Instead, just criticize and complain your way up the corporate ladder or into a loving relationship or deep into a life of happiness. Sure seems like it would work!
2. Wish instead of do
Doing stuff is exhausting. Much better to passively wish for success. Wish for a great job. Or for a happy, loving family. But never tire yourself in actually creating such things.
3. Run when you should walk
When you’re just too tired and worn out, be sure to keep pushing without break or reprieve. I’m sure it won’t catch up to you! Besides, I read somewhere that we can get so much more done when the body and mind are exhausted. So burn the candle at both ends and watch success rain down upon you … or go up like a puff of smoke … or something like that.
4. Walk when you should run
When a goal is in sight, slow down. Be average. Stroll. Never roll up your sleeves and prove yourself a sucker. Get away with doing as little as possible and never more than anyone else. That just wouldn’t be fair. One way to define success is to only do what you need to do to not get fired. That’s what I’ve heard, anyway.
5. Act without a plan
Close your eyes, keep your head down and run like crazy! Of course you won’t crash or fall down a hole. So set no goals and aim nowhere. Just do. Think it through later. After all, I’m sure there are plenty of great structures that were built without blueprints! It’s possible.
6. Stick to a plan religiously
Never bend. Don’t reconsider. Refuse to be flexible. Keep so focused on a straight line of action that you never notice new developments or opportunities or better ideas. I bet there aren’t any new ones worth mentioning left in the world anyway!
7. Act before thinking
Just say and do whatever comes to mind. No need for social filters or values or thoughtfulness or the consideration of others. So what if the reputation of the company or the family or your own is on the line. Reputations don’t matter much, at least not when compared to your right to do what you feel the impulse to do. So just do it and watch the beauty that is your life unfold and friends flock and respect deepen.
8. Don’t set aside time to learn
You’re educationwas completed the moment you graduated. So why study now? No way! You earned the right to never learn anything new again. So keep the TV on and stay as far away as you can from a classroom, the book store or library. (and whatever you do, don’t click on this link to Audible or this one to the Great Courses to take the next step in your education. I mean come one, that would just be a waste of time!)
9. Don’t question the status quo
Take orders and run with them without question. Read a generic how-to manual and go for it. Don’t waste your time finding out if there are other ways of doing things that would work better. Don’t rock the boat. Float in calm waters. Don’t challenge or explore or try out alternative ways of doing things to the status quo. I’m sure doing the same things you’ve always done in the same way you’ve always done them will eventually produce different results than what they’ve always produced!
10. Lose sight of where you want to go
Why take the time to decide where you want to go when there is so much to do right now without spending valuable time determining what’s most important to you? I’m sure everything will work out and you’ll just love where you end up. Besides, values are such malleable things. So just massage your values to the shape of your actions … and never the other way around.
11. Give up when things get tough
Why keep pushing against a headwind? Why climb when you can just sit down and bunker in where you are? If you get hit, go home! If you get pushed, run away. If it get’s difficult, leave. Stamina, perseverance and commitment are overrated things anyway!
12. Control, backseat drive and micromanage
People can’t be trusted to do what needs to be done, so do it all. Badger those few people you give insignificant tasks to do until they do them precisely as you want them done just to get you out of their hair. I’m sure a strong team spirit, improvement, expertise and passion for the work is created this way!
13. Never build a team
Pit one group against another, one family member against another, neighbor against neighbor. Build rivalries and contention. Be a know-it-all. Never let your guard down. Ostracize and denigrate and never put time into building a culture of mutual respect and meaning. Don’t worry, everyone will come together in a pinch. No, really.
14. Be duplicitous
If a lie will make you a little more money, why not bend the truth? Make honesty a matter of expediency. Stretch things so far they never quite fall back to shape. A few coins now, after all, are much better than what you could get in the long-run with trust and trustworthiness. Duh!
15. Allow home to fall into emotional disarray
Get so tunnel-visioned that you forget to pay attention to your family. See them as an obstacle to your real goals and make them feel like they are in the way of you doing what you really love. What use is a family when there’s real work to get done anyway? Besides, you can always pick up the emotional pieces later once you make it big. Don’t worry, they’ll understand. And I’m sure they’ll stick around.
16. Worry instead of act
Since every step you take can end in disaster and abject failure, it’s safest to do nothing to ensure you’ll never fall on your face and bruise your ego. After all, it’s much better to never succeed by not trying than to try and fail, right?
17. Put off doing tasks you don’t like
Just because successful people pay attention to detail and do what needs to be done even if they don’t like doing it, doesn’t mean you have to! So don’t make those calls. Don’t know your costs. Don’t do the distasteful parts of excellence. I’m sure they’ll get done on their own by someone.
18. Do the trivial first
Get bogged down in the details. Get caught in the thick of small things. Do so much of the meaningless that there’s little time left at the end of the day to do what’s more meaningful.
19. Wait for the perfect time
You don’t want to start something too soon. As a matter of fact, keep waiting until circumstances are just right. Pause at the edge and wait. I’m sure things will clear up and work out just fine. And I’m sure no one else will jump ahead of you in line.
20. Make long-run sacrifices for short-term gains
Cut corners to cut costs and skimp on customer service to show immediate improvements on the bottom line. Never invest in long-term results. Only put money where it will show an immediate return. Long-run planning is for fools!
21. Think profits, not people
Money is all that matters, right? If you can squeeze an extra sale out of a customer with a little hard selling, go for it! You never know when or if they will ever come back, so get every dime you can get from them before they leave the store. Your product wouldn’t serve their needs? Don’t let them know and emphasize everything else about the product that’s attractive. They’ll never know … or spread the word. And you’ll feel just great about yourself with a few coins in your pocket as well. After all, everyone’s character has a price at which it can be bought and what you sold yours for is certainly worth it, right?
Afterthoughts
So now you have a decent little map to most of the attitudinal dung hidden in the fields of life. Step in them too often and you’ll likely be scraping off the stink for some significant amount of time. And life will feel flat, adrift, lifeless, unsuccessful. Stop doing them and you just may have to endure a life well lived, success achieved and happiness attained.
Your Thoughts …
Did I leave anything off the list? What would you have added? What do you think about the attitudinal dunghills I’ve included?
Hey Ken,
I love the sarcasm and humor
Hey Ken,
I love the humor and sarcasm within the post! As a therapist, it becomes my role to help others to identify such traps or dung! Then, hopefully they develop enough awareness themselves to interrupt this line of thinking.
Yet, many seem conditioned to almost think this way, constantly offering such comments (which twists the reality) and then hoping to feel better!
I plan to keep this list handy and be sure to access it when it needed.
Thanks!
Haha! It was fun to write, Chris. My sense of humor is typically laced with quite a bit of sarcasm. Glad you could appreciate it–some don’t. 😉
I agree about conditioning. Not only have we been conditioned, but by habit we reinforce that conditioning, further entrenching the habits of thought and attitude that undermine happiness and success.
Thanks for the support, Chris. I’m touched you found enough value to keep the list handy.
Thanks for the good you do in the lives of those you touch as a therapist, Chris. Keep up the good work!
Hah, got a big kick out of the sarcasm as well. I will try NOT to do everything on the list. Thanks for the laugh today!
I have a pretty sarcastic sense of humor, so it’s a bit natural, even if not always evident here. Glad you got a kick out of it, though! Laughter does a lot for happiness, so the post was worth the effort! 😉
Honestly, I’ve already done the most of these 21 points… but we can learn from our mistakes and turn them into benefits;)
No worries, Maria. Like you say, we can learn from our mistakes and turn them into strengths. After all, life is about learning and growing and discovering and evolving. It’s not about being, but becoming. So if you have lots to work on, well, welcome to the club! We’re all in the same boat to one degree or another.
Besides, to the degree we are making most of the mistakes listed, we have only up to go! 🙂
Every time search for excuse instead for result.
If you can postpone the action, postpone it.
Never ask for help.
Pray and wait.
Mat Veni recently posted … Welcome to Maotars world
Awesome additions, Mat! I especially like “pray and wait” — I wish I had added that one to the list myself!
It reminds me of that old story (I’m pretty sure I’ve told before!) where as flood waters pour in on a man’s house, a truck drives by and tells the man to jump in. The man says, “No thanks. I have faith the Lord will save me.”
An hour later, as the waters fill the house, the man climbs to the roof where a neighbor in a boat comes along and asks if the man needed a ride. The man recites his faith and waves the boater on.
The waters rise still and the man climbs to the top of his chimney where a helicopter hovers. The man is asked to climb the ladder, but he shouts instead, “No thanks! I have faith that God will save me!”
The waters keep rising and the man drowns. At the Pearly Gates, he confronts God saying, “I had faith you would save me, what happened?”
God replies, “What do you mean? I sent a truck, a boat and a helicopter!”
Yep, praying and waiting rarely leads to much good!
Love the flip arounds, like the act/plan, run/walk pairs. In an odd way, these remind me of sparring in kung fu. We are encouraged to have a plan when we begin to spar, but the key is to be present and alert to what your partner (we call them partners rather than opponents) is doing.
One of our slogans in kung fu and tai chi is “Invest in loss.” In fact, I would add to your list of ways to fail, “Invest in winning.” When you are so focused on winning in sparring, you are bound to lose. When you release your ego and your fear, and are willing to make mistakes and “lose,” you become fearless, flexible, responsive. You learn from your partner and adapt.
In fact, I’m going to kung fu class right now. I’m going to have your list in my mind when I spar!! Wish me luck!
Galen Pearl recently posted … The Little Car That Could
I love the image of you heading out to kick some butt in your kung fu sparing sessions, Galen! Haha!
I used to train in taekwondo, Muay Thai kick boxing and a Filipino martial art called escrima back in my 20s. Sparing was my favorite part of training back then, so I can relate to what you say about the problem of focusing on winning over being adaptable and flexible and being able to learn from your sparing partner.
Thanks for sharing that insight, Galen. Very apropos.
Hope class went well and that my list wasn’t too much on your mind while you spar! 😉
That photo, oh! So cute.
I am laughing at the mention of cow dung because even today, my folks tease me about how, when I was about 5, I stepped on a large patch of it. (yeah **it). We were playing a game called mud or stones where the person who was “IT’ had to catch someone who was on mud and not standing on stone. Standing on a stone – any surface that was not the ground – was safe. Well, to escape being caught, I mistook a large drying patch of cow dung to be stone and jumped onto it. Imagine my horror when I found it was soft, moist and…ugh! I remember trying to wipe it off on the grass….to get most of it off. My Mom was just returning from somewhere and saw me do this – and said hey, where did you get the green boots? And the phrase “green boots” stuck.
I was laughing all through the post, even though it is no laughing matter when we can fit some people we know into some of these. I was thinking of the people who are so ready to say “I told you so” and go on and on about historic events that one would rather forget and leave behind. Sadly, the easy way out, even if it is nasty is a way some people are happy to choose. They are the ones who never praise, prefer to bully others and put on a superior air.
Ah. I am looking within to see if I do any of these things. On occasion I can succumb to 17. Usually when the kitchen sink is full but only for a little while. The desire to get it over with takes over and all is well. And 18 – I do this when I have lots to do and find it actually motivating to check off lots of stuff. Ken, I also do no.7 – act before thinking in an emergency.
😀 I can turn half your points into “how to be a success” – matter of perception based on situation, no?
Love the way you write! What a wonderful sense of humor!
Hugs!
Vidya Sury recently posted … Happiness Is Everywhere
Oh no! What a hilarious story, Vidya! Cow stink for boots, huh? Haha! Did “green boots” become a regular reference of that day or an actual nickname? Hope the former over the latter!
I am the master of #17! My life is so filled with lists of things I need to get to that it is very easy to put off what I don;t like to do to work on 101 other things I like doing a whole lot better. But you’re right. The desire to get it done and out of the way usually, eventually, overrides the desire to avoid doing it. I suspect, though, that you’re a bit quicker to get to the distasteful but necessary tasks earlier than I am! Like I said, I’m the master of 17.
I think #7 depends on who you are and the habits you’ve developed as well. IN other words, I bet you are much better equipped to act before thinking than some who run off in an emergency and make things worse or even put themselves in harms way for their absent minded reaction to danger or some other emergency.
So yes, most of the points, at least in some cases, under certain circumstances and depending on who you are or what experiences and habits you’ve developed, most of these can be on a how-to-succeed list. Good point, Vidya.
As for the kind words about my writing, thank you. I had fun with the sarcasm. My sense of humor can get me in trouble sometimes, but it does make life a lighter, more enjoyable ordeal. 🙂
when we understand how failure happens we will be able to work our way to success
thanks for the wonderful post ken
farouk recently posted … Psychology of dog, cat and pet owners
When an army is pushing toward its target, it has to be careful to locate, remove, detonate or avoid landmines. Knowing the habit of thought and action that cause failure can keep us from stepping on some of the professional and personal landmines that so often cut our own legs out from under our efforts to succeed.
Thanks Farouk.
22. Never listen to someone who has been there and done it before. You can probably do it better than them anyway. It’s always best to learn things on your own.
Haha! I love this… Interesting approach! Keep it up.
Shawn Ryan recently posted … Neuro Programmr 3 Review
Thanks for the addition, Shawn. While I would totally agree with you on duplication, I’m actually a big proponent of learning from those who have gone before. No need to keep reinventing the wheel. Most extremely successful people (at least the ones I’ve done some reading about) would quickly credit those they’ve learned from, whose shoulders they stand on.
There’s an old story/parable that has three men walking down a path to town. One falls in a hole on the way. When he returns at the end of the day, he falls in the same hole, having learned nothing. The second man falls in too, but learns his lesson, and avoids falling in at the end of the day on his way back home. The third man, however, sees the first two fall the first time and avoids the hole altogether. The point? It is wise to learn from our own mistakes, but truly enlightened to learn from the mistakes of others.
Let me know what you think. I’m interested to know your thoughts on this.
Glad you enjoyed the tone of the post, Shawn. It fun to write.
I like that story! There just needs to be a fourth person that sees the first three and not only avoids the hole, but fills in the hole with dirt so no one has to fall in it again. This is the ultimate lesson in not only learning form other people’s mistakes, but making the world a better place at the same time.
Well said, Shawn!
Well that’s a different spin on success! Some people (all people?) learn more from the things we shouldn’t do than from the things we should do! May as well learn from someone else’s mistakes as from our own!
I love the story you refer to in your comment. I found the link to the complete story: http://www.thequestawaitsyou.com/life-in-five-short-chapters/
We’re such slow learners at times, aren’t we? 😮
Lori Gosselin recently posted … Where are the Sacred Spaces in Your Life?
Hi Lori!
I’ve come across several renditions of that story and just don’t know which is original. Mine was roughly the version I heard from some CD program I borrowed from the library probably 20 years ago or so. Evidently, it left an impression on me! 😉 But after so long a time, I can’t vouch for it’s integrity to the original telling. Thanks for the link, Lori. I like the first-person method of telling it.
As for learning from our mistakes and the slowness of those lessons learned, I’m quite proficient at both—making the mistakes to learn from and being slow at coming around to the lessons! 😉
Thanks for a great list of things NOT TO DO! 🙂 Not only were they great reminders…you did it in a light hearted way. While we would all like to think that we don’t do any of them EVER–chances are good every single one of us has fallen prey. Next time I WILL remember!!!!
So glad you enjoyed it, Kathy!
You speak the gospel truth! We do fall and stumble through most of our lives, don’t we! This list is about as much a warning to others as a confession! 😉
I do appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thoughts here, Kathy. We’ll both remember and do just a little better next time, then a little better the time after that …
I know that is lists things we shouldn’t do. But some of them that me or someone else still do. I know to accept all of them that is process ourselves growth.
Hey there, Chu! Thanks so much for the comment. We all do some of them some of the time and others all the time and a few of them from time to time. No worries, right? It’s all about learning and improving and falling and learning from the fall and improving again. It really boils down to exactly what you said: Process! That’s what personal growth is. We all take it a step at a time. Thanks for sharing.
[…] The Anatomy of Failure: 21 Easy Ways to Fail at Anything @ Meant to be Happy […]
Comprehensive list on how to fail Ken. It reminds me of the great Jim Rohn who always used to say “It would be great to attend a failure seminar as we would learn so much from them”
Neil Butterfield recently posted … Baobab Fruit Powder – The South African Super Food
I love that line, Neil! Jim Rohn was one of the great ones. No idea how many hours I’ve spent listening to him on tape and CD over the years. Thanks for the comment, my friend.
Hahaha. I loved this post. The sarcasm is brilliant. Thank you for giving me the guide I need to failure. I will be sure to utilize it every step of the way haphazardly. Quitting things when life gets hard is something that needs to be up there. That is one of those things that will lead you to automatic failure every single time.
Sebastian Aiden Daniels recently posted … Am I gay, straight or bi?
Glad you appreciated the sarcasm, Sebastian. I agree, quitting when things get tough definitely needs to be up there on the list. It is failure made-to-go. When we try, we may not succeed, but when we quit, we guarantee it.
Thanks for the comment!