“Oh Santa may have brought you some stars for your shoes. But Santa only brought me the blues; Those brightly packaged tinsel covered Christmas blues.” ~ written and performed by Sammy Cahn and David Jack Holt
For many, the Holidays are not happy times. They are filled with stress, anxiety, loneliness, despair, discouragement or a sharp case of the holiday blues.
But they don’t have to be. There can be so much more joy in the Christmas season than you think. There are, in fact, specific steps you can take to have a happier, more meaningful Christmas this year, even if circumstances are not ideal. The following are some of those steps.
10 ways to have a Merry Christmas
1. Connect to the Deeper Meaning of the Season
On the surface of things, it seems Christmas has become little more than a day of getting stuff—an over-commercialized sales-event of high profits and crazed consumerism. Hardly the inspiration to delve deeper into the soul of the occasion.
But Christmas can provide us with a variety of levels of depth and meaning no matter how Vegas-like Christmas has become.
From family togetherness with gift exchanges and Christmas traditions to the original celebration of the birth of Jesus, as believers rededicate our lives to living a Christ-like life of faith and virtue to the popular celebration of the giving spirit of the holiday, there’s something deeply meaningful for almost everyone.
By connecting to the deeper meaning of the season, your Christmas celebration can itself be deeper, more meaningful, and therefore more perspective-shifting and happiness-inspiring.
2. Serve Someone
Sadness is inward-looking. Service is its opposite. So go make someone else’s life better, and watch what happens to yours. Joy will start to replace sorrow. Meaning and purpose will begin to reinsert itself into the holiday experience. Self-pity will give way to a growing appreciation for the bounty of life.
The service can be as big as joining a group dedicated to large service projects or as small as random acts of kindness in your neighborhood. Even wishing clerks and others waiting in long holiday lines a “Merry Christmas” can lift their moods, add smiles to tired faces—and chase away your own Christmas blues.
3. Celebrate the Season with Forgiveness
Of all the gifts you give this year, perhaps the most meaningful and life-changing will be the gift of forgiveness you offer someone who has offended you. And here’s the surprise: You will likely benefit the most from forgiving than the person you forgive; it’s as much a gift to yourself as it is to the offender.
(Check out my guest post here for tips on how to forgive when it’s most difficult—just be sure to return here when you’re done! :))
4. Make it Fun and Festive
Get out the lights. Put up the tree. Blast the tunes. Decorate. Dance around the house. Invite others over to dance with you. Sing carols. Pour a glass of eggnog (FYI: Silk has a great-tasting, eggless, dairy-free soy-based eggnog we love to drink in our home). Pop some popcorn. Watch a funny holiday movie (Elf is our favorite). Laugh out loud.
Get into the season. Don’t wait around for the season to get into you! Jump into it head-first and it won’t take long before you find the season has snuck in the backdoor—or crashed through the front!
5. Create a New “Family”
If sadness overwhelms the holidays because of loss or divorce or estrangement or distance, start now to create a new “family” of friends you can celebrate Christmas with. If you don’t make friends very quickly, join a club and volunteer to participate on special projects. It’s often in such settings where people with shared interests and values engaged in meaningful service that relationships grow fastest.
But whatever you do, try to get together with others. No matter what happened to your family, whether decades ago or just last weekend, you can start to invite people into your life today.
Or try this: If you’re feeling alone this Christmas, go volunteer at a homeless shelter or food line. Check with local churches, the city or volunteer organizations for information about when and where to show up. It just may change how you “celebrate” Christmas forever.
6. Do what You Love
Sometimes when we feel down, we mope around the house feeling sorry for ourselves and wonder why others don’t come by and pull us out of our funk. Well, stop waiting! Be your own funk-breaker! Paint. Run. Climb. Sing. Swim. Serve. Learn. Play. Give. And watch what starts to happen to your holiday spirit.
7. Become the Neighborhood’s Secret Santa
Bake some cookies. Buy some gift-cards. And start secretly making your neighbors’ day. Put a plate of cookies on a doorstep or put Christmas cards on the windshields of cars in your community. Or, of course, personally deliver the cookies or cards to your neighbors yourself.
8. List all the Things that are Wonderful in Your Life
We often tend to over-exaggerate the negative and under-accentuate the good. We’re just funny that way. But taking the time to write down all that’s sweet in life can act to underscore the good and paint a picture that’s not quite as dour as we would otherwise believe.
Gratitude is contagious. So do all you can to catch it. Then spread it. Liberally! I guarantee a happier Christmas season for the effort.
9. Get Up, Get Dressed, Get Out!
Some of the symptoms of depression include oversleeping, staying in bed, undressed, un-showered, self-ostracized. But such behaviors also cause the blues. They feed each other. When we’re down, we don’t get up and dressed. But when we don’t get up and dressed, we often feel worse.
So stop the cycle. Get up. Clean up. Shave. Put on your best duds and go somewhere and do something. Anything. But do it without alcohol. The blues and alcohol (a depressant) is not a match made in heaven.
10. Put Yourself on Santa’s “Nice” List
As you’re out doing good to others, spreading Christmas cheer, spread some to yourself as well. Buy yourself a gift. Make it meaningful. Enjoy it. Be grateful you can afford it (no matter how inexpensive it may be). Believe you deserve it. Have fun with it. And then believe you were worth every penny you spent … and then some!
Bonus #11: Have No Expectations
Our biggest cause of disappointment is when our expectations are not met. If you go into the season thinking this time things are going to be different, that no one will argue or get drunk or make offensive comments, that this Christmas will be the best one ever, and it’s not, the day will be a letdown, even if it was still mostly pretty okay!
If you expect little or nothing, anything good will be a wonderful surprise!
Having no expectations, by the way, is not the same thing as expecting the worse. I’m not suggesting we go into the Christmas holidays expecting the most disastrous Christmas ever with uncles swearing and aunts falling down drunk, the tree catching fire and the house burning down.
When we expect disaster, after all, we sometimes inadvertently help create it. But to be without expectations is to be open to whatever happens. It is to accept whatever is, as it is, for what it is.
When we impose judgment and expectation on something outside our control – like how others will behave – we try to massage the event into a preconceived vision. The difference between the reality and the vision becomes frustration, anger and disappointment.
Afterthoughts
Christmas is supposed to be an amazing time of the year, full of family, significance, good people and a recommitment to service and kindness and good cheer. It’s fun and sparkly and festive and celebratory. It’s also deep and profound and joyous and holy. There are ways of making this Christmas more so on all accounts.
But remember, good ideas are only as good as their implementation. So resist the temptation to nod your head in agreement, click to another post and summarily forget the tips provided. Instead, take action today toward making your Christmas holiday season more enjoyable, happier and meaningful this year.
Photo by PIxabay
A good reminder of the things we can do to help us appreciate this time of year, as for me I’ve grown to resent Christmas almost. It just seems to be a time of year that has a lot of undue stress attached to it. It definitely helps to remember and appreciate the little things that make us happy, not just over Christmas, but in general.
If nothing else, and something I think you have forgotten to mention is that this time of year brings with it a LOT of food and that can never be a bad thing! 🙂
jamie flexman recently posted … Is the Mayan calendar right? Is December 21st the end of the world? Let’s find out.
Ah yes, the food! And for us here in the U.S., so close on the heels of Thanksgiving. I’m still trying to shake the last few added pounds from that over-abundance-of-food day (or should I say under-abundance-of-will-power day) when the Christmas food starts showing up — cookies, candy, homemade fudge, and then all the amazingly good food on Christmas day itself!
Yes, for me, the food does definitely add a measure of joy to the season as well. Thanks for adding that, Jamie.
As for the stress and resentment, breathe! 😉
Something we’ve done in our extended family, as economic pressures were mounting several years ago, we all agreed to only buy gifts for each others’ children. I know some families would still have tons of gifts to buy, but for us, that reduced the financial burden tremendously.
Some families put price limits on gifts too to alleviate any guilt or competition over gift-giving. What we did one year was to give home-made Christmas Tree ornaments as gifts to each other (except for the young children). That one was my favorite year to date.
I also heard of families donating all the money they would have spent on gifts to a favorite charity or going out as a family to volunteer at a church handing out food to the homeless. There’s lots that can be done to destress the holidays. The challenge is to get the rest of the family to go along. Of course, there’s one way to destress Christmas that wouldn’t involve anyone’s agreement.
One friend is done with all her Christmas shopping at least by November. She shops throughout the year as good sales show up, she’ll buy some gifts here and there with certain people in mind so that by the time Christmas or birthdays show up, she just reaches into her closet and wraps the thing.
I really hope the season becomes something you can look forward to, Jamie. And in that spirit, Merry Christmas!
Ken, we’re one of those families who has a rather large piggy bank (except it is shaped like a laughing Buddha) – we add the money we would spend on gifts – and periodically, empty it to sponsor additional meals at the local welfare home for girls.
And gifts only for the children is a great idea. We have the tradition of gifting everyone who visits….but now I am slowly shifting that trend to gifting the postwoman, the paperboy, the milkman, the plumber and other folks who continue to work even on holidays. They need it more than everyone else.
When it comes to festivals, Ken, for me “Serve someone” is the first thing on my list. Happily, in India, we have multiple religions and an abundance of festivals. We make it a point to carry stuff for those who don’t celebrate. My special “guests” on festivals are all the street people and others who work seven days a week. I plan ahead and pack stuff for them during the major festivals like Diwali.
My Mom always insisted that we should let go of all the negative stuff in our heads and treat each festival as a fresh start to life and relationships. With over 20 festivals in a year, just imagine the number of chances we get 😛 And then, every little thing we feel happy about is cause for celebration at home.
No.8 is my favorite feel-good activity. But the icing/cherry on this ten-point cake is the bonus tip, Ken. It is THE best attitude towards life.
I would really love a copy of Barrie’s book. My favorite way to overcome the holiday blues is maintain an ongoing large “bin” of giveaways, to which I keep adding frequently. Giving is an activity that turns blue into a multi-colored and happy feeling. Each time I go out, I grab something from it to giveaway. I am partial to being paid in smiles. My life passion is to make others’ lives better and to do this, I make sure that at the end of each day, I answer the questions “What did I give today? What am I grateful for, today?”
Peace, Ken. I’ll love you even if I don’t win a copy 😉
By the way, I meant to tell you last time – I miss your “Tweet this” links 😀
Vidya Sury recently posted … Of Cakes And Personal Development
Hi Vidya!
I so totally LOVE your “giveaway bin” idea!!!! I used to keep a stash of canned food in the car to give out to the homeless and other unfortunate people on the streets I came across. But I never thought of a larger concept like the bin. Thanks for the great idea!
I also love your always-thoughtful response to people. Knowing certain people work during the holidays, you start giving to that group. I just adore you, Vidya!
And I’m jealous too! So many festivals! We don’t really have that here in the US. We certainly have holidays, but most of those are celebrated relatively privately, mostly within families. For many people our Independence Day is more social, but still not like the big festivals you have. What a blast that would be!
Well, my dear Vidya, you are a gem, for sure. I wish more people finished their day with such perfect questions. Or maybe we could just clone you and sprinkle a bunch of Vidyas all over creation! You know, I think I like that idea. I’m going to start talking to some of my geneticist friends. Okay, I guess I don’t have any of those. But I’m going to start looking for some. This needs to happen!
PS: I’ll add the “Tweet this” links to future post soon. Just got lazy. 😉
PPS: How’s it been going with WP? Has it gotten any easier/faster?
😀 I just told my son about the cloning …and can rest assured that it is going to be the theme for the funny ha ha’s during the next few weeks….enhanced by the fact that his winter vacation of over two weeks begins tomorrow. Hmm. Sometimes I ask for it 😛
WP – getting much better, Ken. One gripe I had was the “insert images” – it was so complicated. And guess what? WP 3.5 addressed that specific issue and made it easy 😀 It is all good. Lots to learn…and learning is always fun for me.
I was going to tell you how I got the “bin” idea…but I decided to go post on my own blog. 😛 It is an interesting and long story. 😀 Hugs!
Forget that geneticist. There are far, far better people than me in the world.
Love, Vidya
Vidya Sury recently posted … How to Feel Great Every Day Through Mindfulness
Haha! Glad to have given birth to a round of hahas from your son! And yes, as parents, we certainly do ask for it, don’t we! 🙂
This whole blogging thing certainly has an interesting learning curve to it.
Can’t wait to go read the bin story — and glad to have provided the question that led to a post idea!
PS: There will always be people better than any one of us, but that doesn’t change the fact that the world would still be a better place to live in with a bunch of you in it!
i love the holiday season, i take a vacation from everything including blogging the last week of the year, happy holidays Ken : )
farouk recently posted … How to recover from child abuse
Enjoy your vacation, Farouk! Seeing how much work you do over at your place, you’ve earned it!
Hey Ken,
Being a therapist I can certainly agree that the Holidays are a hard time for quite a few. Many of my consumers do dread the Holidays. Your post with suggestions is very helpful and I will look to pass along to my consumers.
My hope is that over time, we can all learn to disempower life circumstances and to empower ourselves to take action that liberates us from the difficult times. Many of your suggestions appear to do just that.
Have a Merry Christmas!
Chris Swenson recently posted … The First Step to Develop Your “Rhino Mentality”
I like that phrase, Chris: “Disempower life circumstances.” So many people give such power to outside forces. They become emotional slaves to those circumstances, giving them the power to determine how happy or miserable they will be.
But when we’re liberated, choosing our own responses to external conditions, that freedom of self-empowerment becomes immensely freeing. Happiness then has room to grow in our lives in ways the emotionally trapped and shackled never know.
Thanks so much for the work you do to help others free themselves, Chris.
Thanks for these great reminders. You’re right–the holidays are not always a happy experience. You offer some great perspectives but I think there are a large number of people who also stress themselves out because they are trying so hard to make their holiday a fabrication of what they think it “should” be instead of recreating something new. I also think tons of people stress themselves out spending money they don’t have, buying stuff many people don’t even want, and then knowing they will have to face that all when the New Year arrives…. In fact, I ended up writing about it on my own blog http://smartliving365.com/christmas-2012more-stuff-or-a-meaningful-experience/ Thanks again for your post–I’m looking forward to more in the future…. Kathy
SMART Living 365 recently posted … Beyond Suffering—What The Buddha Teaches About Tragedy
This is such a great point, Kathy: “a large number of people who also stress themselves out because they are trying so hard to make their holiday a fabrication of what they think it “should” be instead of recreating something new.” And so eloquently said too!
We sometimes have such a twisted sense of what good parenting and even what love is when birthdays and Christmas comes around. We think the number and size of the packages under the tree is somehow a direct measure of how much we love our kids or how good we are to them. We’re so worried about how they will stack up to what the neighbor got that we go into deep debt to “fabricate” some preconceived Christmas extravaganza.
When, in fact, that very attitude can be one of the great detriments to raising selfless, serving and loving children.
Loved this comment, Kathy. Now I’m going to go read your article on creating a more meaningful Christmas! 🙂
I love #2! I always encourage everyone including me to focus outward on others. When I hear or feel a whine coming, that’s when I have to remind myself life really is not that bad.
Great list, Ken! And, thanks for sharing in Bloggers Unite! Google+ community (shameless plug!).
Happy holidays…
Jayme Soulati recently posted … Social Media 2012 Woman Of The Year–Jenn Whinnem
Hi Jayme! Thanks so much for stopping by! Bloggers Unite! is shaping up to be a really fun place to hang out. Thanks so much for starting it and bringing me aboard.
Offering meaningful service is really a great perspective changer. It helps us appreciate what we have when we serve those less fortunate than ourselves. But there us also something, perhaps metaphysical, in the act of serving a fellow human being. Something in us is touched, We feel blessed for having blessed someone else’s life. We feel we matter, that life is meaningful. All very heady stuff!
Ken…
I really-really like this… You said it just right. It is so important to remember so many people, family, friends, coworkers, are walking wounded during the holiday season. We can do so much to help them through it, even if it is just something simple, like a smile or a plate of cookies or a card, letting them know they are being thought of.
The entire list is outstanding, but the one that struck me the most was #3. The best ever Christmas present that I ever received was a phone call for Christmas (my birthday) one year and a voice I had thought to never hear again.
A voice, asking for forgiveness, there was no need, but the asking, the call itself was the bright red bow for me that Christmas.
Thank you for reminding me.
So glad you liked the article, Amber-Lee! I think we often don;t extend a hand to those in pain because we don;t know what to do or say or we fear “reminding” them of the pain they seem to be concealing. We are afraid that if I reach out, I just may pop the bubble that is holding them together.
But it really is so easy and natural. We just need to throw the fear out and make the gesture. Almost all people will feel deeply grateful for even the most clumsy of efforts.
I’m touched by the story of the phone call you got for Christmas/Birthday. What a treat that must have been! I got the chills reading it! Thank you so much for sharing that here. Forgiveness is such an amazing gift to offer and be offered.
I wish you an amazing Christmas and Birthday, Amber-Lee.
Happiness – isn’t that the thing we all strive to find and keep? Nobody is happy all the time, but some people are definitely more fulfilled than others. Learn how to be happy and live a healthy life.
So true that no one is always happy, but that some are more and more often than others. Thanks for the comment, Taylor.
PS: Please use the commentluv option to link to your site next time (rather than in the body of your comment) so it doesn’t look so spammy, okay? 😉
Hi Ken, even though I’ve taken a break off blogging, I’m just stopping by to say Happy Holidays to all my blogging friends. Thanks for all the support, comments, visits etc. I hope you have fun with your loved ones and I wish you all the best for 2013.
Anne recently posted … Merry Christmas
Hi Anne! Thanks so much for stopping by to say hello. You’ve been missed.
I hope your holidays are happy too. Thanks so much for the season wishes. So, how long are you on blogging vacation for? Hope it lasts as long as you need it to, but not too long! 🙂
Have a Merry Christmas and an amazing New Year!
Well, I took a month off my 2 older blogs (I’m selling them). I’ve taken 2 weeks off my confidence blog, and will take 2 weeks off my DIY blog. When I come back in the new year I will have taken almost 2 months off my old blogs and 3 weeks off the others.
I’ve had a lot of work to do, have been unwell for a long time, and my daughter has had surgery and needs me. I can’t do it all and blog, so I had to make a decision to keep my sanity 🙂
Anne recently posted … Merry Christmas
Sounds like a really full plate, Anne. So sorry about the health problems and your daughter’s surgery. Also didn’t realize you ran so many bogs. Wow! Well, not much is more important than family and health, so that’s exactly where your time should be spent.
You’ll be in my prayers, Anne. Hope everything will turn out well–including your sanity! 🙂
And again, I wish you a wonderful Christmas, full of love and gratitude and depth of celebration.
The message of your post that strikes me most is think of others and what you can do to help lighten their load. This definitely makes you forget about yourself and your blues. This is the best therapy when one is feeling down, and sometimes we just need to be reminded. Thanks.
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And thank you too Amy. You nailed the dominant theme of the post perfectly. Like you said, the best way to pull ourselves out of the blues is to reach out to others to lift them out of theirs.
Thanks so much for sharing here, Amy. And have a wonderful season of giving and serving.
yes music is a HUGGEE part atleast for me if you feel uninspired i recommend playing music such as jingle bell rock, all i want for christmas, etc. whatever your favorite christmas song is. (:
[…] on the Bright Side Day”, we shared 10 different ways to beat the holiday blues. Click HERE for the full article […]
Thank you for this post. This is the first year I won’t be spending it with family. We had a falling out and they are not talking to me at all. So finding a new family hits home.
It isn’t about our blood relatives, it’s about spending time with people who love and accept you for who you are.
Laura Trostel recently posted … Anxiety – Fear or Spiritual Awakening
This is very helpful tips during the Christmas time. I would definitely use these tips during the next celebration.
We have a Jesus Birthday party on Christmas Eve and have it set up just like a birthday party with food, games, birthday cake, and the reading of his birth. I explain that it is a day set aside to celebrate the birth, not the actual day. We have so much fun and it focuses my kids attention to the actual reason for the season.
I like that. Such a great idea. Thanks for sharing. Something we like to do is to think of what gift of self or act of service we can give Jesus for His birthday.