Read on to see what I mean.
(continuing here from 16 Principles of Happiness from the 16th President #1-5)
Principle #6: “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
A happy life is a life filled with meaningful activities and meaningful relationships. It’s a life of purpose and passion. What can you do to add meaning to your life? What can you do to fill life with passion? Answer these questions and get started today on a journey of self-discovery. You will start to feel happier the sooner you start putting more “life in your years.”
Principle #7: “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.”
While there is no denying the world has its share of Hitlers and Bin Ladens, I nonetheless believe deeply that most people are redeemable.
But even if not, you can usually find they can teach you a lesson or two about life – whether in the positive or the negative.
Anecdotal evidence: Years ago, there was a woman in my neighborhood who was angry, bitter and cold. She would mostly mind her own business except when said hello to. Then she would oddly scowl at the would-be do-gooder. I never did learn her story, but I decided to make it a goal to crack her hardened exterior.
So every day that I would pass her house (she was always out doing yard work), I would smile and say hello. I did this without fail for about three months, nearly 5 days a week. Not once did I ever get a return hello or even a smile back or a nod or any recognition other than an occasional frown or angry stare-down.
I was also filled with a sense of gratitude. I was thankful I could be part of the cracking of the exterior of a fellow human being. Then, with a huge grin, she asked me where I had been! From then on, she became a pleasant feature on my daily walk to college.
You see, beneath most prickly exteriors is a softer side. Get to know the softer interior and you’ll likely start liking the whole person more.
Principle #8: “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”
Paradoxically, self-deprecating humor can make you happier!
But regardless, the self-deprecating kind or not, humor is important to happiness. Humorless people, almost by definition, find life less enjoyable. If everything is taken seriously, life will be a drudge, scraping from one moment into the next with more dullness or resentment or frustration.
So lighten up and have some fun at your own expense! Don’t take yourself so seriously. Believe me when I say no one else does! Besides, if done in the right light, more happiness is all but guaranteed.
Principle #9: “You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.”
Are you a procrastinator? Do you keep finding reasons to put things off, to delay getting started? I do. Most of us do to one degree or another. As a matter of fact … well … I guess I’ll just tell you about it later. 🙂
But I also know that I simply prolong the misery of a distasteful task when I push it off to the ever-receding horizon of Later. Stress and anxiety are prolonged and the time-frame available to complete the project shrinks, further adding stress and anxiety and frustration to the task.
Frustration and anxiety can undermine happiness and peace of mind the longer we wait to get a thing started. Besides, the perception of the task or project is almost always worse than the task or project actually is. So just get started; you can’t escape the responsibility for it by ducking out on it today!
But you certainly can push happiness off yet another day … and then another … and then another once again.
Principle #10: “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
While no unhappy person really chooses unhappiness as a conscientious pursuit, still, unhappy people have chosen a pattern of thought and attitude and behavior in response to life that creates either happiness or sadness. But allowing such responses to life to continue as your default setting, the choice has been made, even if only indirectly.
In other words, by choosing not to take matters into your own hands and make positive changes that add joy to life, you are still making the decision, if negatively, to keep things as they are. So make up your mind to do something more, to think in ways conducive to happiness, to live in a way that opens a doorway to a happy life.
What do you think of the Lincoln’s quotes?
- Do you agree with the premises of his statements?
- Which do you like best and why?
- What advice would you give future generations about living a happy life?
- Have you struggled with any of the principles from Lincoln’s quotes?
- Please share your thoughts in the comments!
Click on any of the posts in this series for further reading:
- 16 Principles of Happiness from the 16th President
- We’ve Seen Lincoln on the Penny; Now let’s hear him on Happiness!
- Tearing Down and Building Up: Envy and Success
- There’s More than One Way to Live Forever … Leaving a Legacy
- 5 Enslaving Habits We Must Avoid
- 10 Practical Ways to Develop Self-mastery
- You Have To Do Your Own Growing No Matter how Tall Your Grandfather Was
- 10 Ways You Too Can Stop Being So EASILY Offended
- A House Divided is Happiness Diminished
I was thinking about #7 and what we perceive to be character defects in people. If you can view character defects in yourself and others not as bad, but as wounds, you come from a place of love and compassion. That view was inspired in me by the writing of Marianne Williamson. Have a great day!
Thank you so much for your insight, Wendy! (can I call you Wendy, as opposed to Wendy Irene?)
While I tend to accept the “good” and “bad” label for certain defects (the use of “wounds” to describe people who rape and torture and molest children, for example, just doesn’t seem to me to adequately reflect the horror inflicted on a vulnerable, innocent life), I agree with you that certainly such character flaws are likely the result of very deep emotional and psychological wounds.
I just believe there is more than an emotional dimension to such horrific acts. There is a moral dimension that seems to justify a moral characterization. Certainly we all have wounds, but not all of us act on our wounds to inflict those wounds or versions of them on others. There are even deeply disturbed people who prevent themselves from hurting others. That seems to me to require a moral distinction.
Personally, I can interpret a flaw as bad and still have compassion for the person, in most cases. In other cases, I will allow God to determine whether compassion is appropriate for the Hitlers of the world. I tend to reserve my compassion for those he had torturously exterminated. I like to think that my response is one of love, just focused on the victims rather than those who inflicted such irreparable wounds in the very fabric of the Jewish soul (as reported by some survivors).
What do you think? Is my thinking off the mark? I would be interested to hear your response. I truly value your insights and challenges to my thinking. That is, after all, how we grow. I am more loving and compassionate because others have had enough love and compassion to reach out and challenge me where I’ve needed tweaks in my thinking before.
This world of ours certainly can use much more love and compassion. Thank you for adding your insights and wisdom to the dialogue.
Have an amazing day!