*Note: Check out my guest post at Marc and Angle Hack Life called, 5 Character Traits that Make You Happy.
“I think that, as life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action of his time at peril of being judged not to have lived.” ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes
This is the next set in the sub-series exploring reasons that can help make you passionate about living life, excited about the prospect of living a long life of transcendent meaning and elevated purpose.
So let’s begin with a powerful truth: Your physical circumstances do not determine your happiness.
In fact, if your soul was removed from your body, life and circumstances today and placed in the body, life and circumstances of anyone else on the planet, from the rich and famous to the strong and powerful to the beautiful and fashionable to someone with all such characteristics, you will, over time, feel just about the same as you feel right now.
Sure, there will be a period of elation, of awe and excitement about the new conditions. But as that wears off, you’ll still be stuck with the same attitudes, perspectives, positive or negative ways of looking at the world. The physical circumstances of your life will not change how you feel in the long run.
If you’re critical, you’ll find new things to criticize. If you’re hateful, you’ll find new things to hate. If you’re judgmental, you’ll find new things to judge. If you tend to see things in the negative, you’ll simply find other things to be negative about.
The fear and envy, the pessimism and sensitivity, the impatience and self-criticism will follow you into the new setting. The inside of your life will always be more important than the outside in determining how happy your life will be.
How you think and interpret life — how you view the world, seeing it as a cold and lonely place or one of adventure and opportunity — that will change how you feel about life.
Some people are victims to life because that’s the role they play. That’s the mindset they have. The victim mentality is an attitude and interpretive framework irrespective of the outer conditions of that life.
The secret to living a passionate life of happiness, then, is to start looking at life with new eyes. See what you haven’t seen before. Refresh your vision. Change your perspective. Then, and only then, will you begin to feel like life is something to cherish, to honor and respect, to get excited about, passionate about every day and the opportunities it holds.
Following are the next 4 reasons to feel more passion in living from the sub-series called 14 Reasons to get Excited about Life. Click here to see the first 4 in the series. (Reminder: this is part of a larger 5-part series on overcoming depression. See the first in the larger series here).
4 more Reasons to Love Life
If you are not in love with life yet, perhaps the following will help spark the desire to snuggle up a little closer to it. My hope is to initiate a love affair between you and life. It guarantees to reciprocate whatever feelings you have for it.
Reason #5. You’re a Work in Progress
What a kick it is to know that there is so much work to do under the hood of my own life. Gears are jammed. So much squeaks and sticks and stalls and doesn’t align just right. There are leaks and rust everywhere. And that’s just fine. It really is.
I have so much to do. So much to work on. So many things about who I am and what makes me tick and why I do what I do that I will be busy tweaking and adjusting and overhauling this thing called me for my entire life … and then some!
I am, in a word, imperfection personified. But I accept the challenge to build and construct something better than I was yesterday. And then to crash and burn. And then to go at it again the next day. So guess what! I’ll never get bored on my own personal development project. I’ll never run out of things to work on!
It is in growth, after all, that life becomes exciting. So don’t denigrate yourself for not being somewhere else. It’s more the movement toward a desired end than simply being in the place the end is located that brings the most lasting happiness.
Here’s another way to look at it: You can see your imperfections as “proof” you’re worthless. Or you can see those same imperfections as evidence that you’re simply and beautifully imperfect, a fellow human being on a life-journey just like the rest of us.
Do you see the difference? The facts are the same. Only the significance and meaning we attach to those facts are different. And they change completely how the situation (and life itself) is experienced. So try to see your state of imperfection as a challenge, much like a game of chess is a challenge, waiting for you to move forward.
Since you don’t feel guilt for bad moves on a chessboard, don’t let your mistakes on life’s chess board cripple you just for making wrong moves either. All you need to do is keep stepping forward, improving, correcting missteps, then advancing forward, even if only in small baby steps.
And just as building a house can be extremely exciting, so building a life can be just as fun but infinitely more rewarding. It’s all in the attitude you bring to the blueprints.
Reason #6. There are People in Need
Reach out to others. Touch their lives. Influence their thinking. Inspire change to those beliefs that hold them back. Hold the hands of those who are weary or lonely or depressed themselves as they take the next steps to a better and happier life.
Let me get personal here for a moment, if I can. You see, I believe there are people who need my love. There are people who need my words. And there are people who need my shoulder. There are people who need my compassion, my attention and my service.
Not because I’m necessarily anything to write home about, but because there are people in need and I have love and words and shoulders. And so I offer them. You too can offer yours.
And in the offering, a weight is lifted. You sense that you’ve become important. You’re needed. As you step out into the lives of others in need, your life will be found.
When we serve others, our lives are lifted as well. Meaning and purpose and significance splash up against us, cooling the burn of our pasts. We begin to realize how very important we are, that we truly matter, that life matters, that others, God, the universe and life itself needs us.
When we reach out to bless others lives, our moods brighten. Our souls expand. Our minds broaden. And our lives deepen and reach higher heights of peace and joy. So find a cause. Join a group. Volunteer. Serve a neighbor. Visit the burn ward at the local hospital. Reaching out to others will begin to affect your emotional state in measurable ways, perhaps even on your first time.
Reason #7. We Were Meant for More
When we are feeling down, less than confident, sad, mad, afraid, guilty or otherwise feeling crummy, we can know there’s something more inside of us. There is a potential that is beyond belief.
All humanity has that same potential. Some squander it. Some ignore it. Some defeat it. Some step on it and kick it and bury it deep inside themselves. Some don’t even believe it’s there.
But it is. It’s there even when we fall dreadfully short of it. But that’s okay so long as we press forward, making an effort to take steps in the right direction. We were meant for more and I believe we can become more.
That excites me, not as guilt for not being somewhere else in life, but as a source of confidence that there is something inside us that we can dig down into to help motivate the next step forward.
Reason #8. Universal Principles Govern
There are eternal principles of truth and happiness and decency. Be passionate about exploring them.
While we may not feel great every moment of every day, we can take confidence in knowing there are universal principles of happiness that if discovered and applied consistently in the right amount and combination, we will feel the difference in our lives. That motivates me to keep learning and experimenting and growing.
Afterthoughts
Life is largely the result of how we perceive it, especially as adults. If we are down in the dumps, miserable, critical, hateful or depressed, there are ways to make huge changes to how you feel without making huge changes to the circumstances of your lives.
By adjusting attitude and perception, reality can change just as much (and maybe even more) than if the physical conditions of your life changed.
Begin to see life by the opportunities for growth and service, for the opportunity and possibility life affords, governed by principles that can be learned and applied that can, over time, revolutionize the way you feel about being alive.
YOUR TURN!
- So, what do you think of the 4 reasons to love life?
- Which most moves you?
- What gets your blood pumping?
- We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!
If you found value here, please Tweet and Share on Facebook. Help spread the message!
Aloha Ken,
Thanks for all 8 reasons. Happiness is indeed an inside job.
I love reason number 6. I used to have a bumper sticker that said, “Commit random acts of kindness and senseless beauty.” Reaching out to others can really change our perspective and the way we feel about life. I use to suggest to people perform an act of kindness and avoid being caught.
Have a great one,
Susan
Hi Susan!
I love that bumper sticker! I also love a commercial they play here (is it for First Mutual?) that shows a person do a kind deed that’s seen by a bystander who is then inspired to do likewise, and out the ripple radiates affecting person after person. as someone else sees each subsequent kindness performed by the one before.
I like the “avoid being caught” part of the kind deed. Nice!
Great points Ken,
I feel reason # 6. ‘There are people in need ‘ moves me most.
Helping others always gives us immense satisfaction. It justfies our existance on this earth. It proves that kindness is above everything.
Thanks for such a wonderful read.
Naveen | Planetnaveen recently posted … Optimists vs. Pessimists – Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
My pleasure, Naveen!
Hope everything is going well for you over on your side of the block!
There is something that elevates the giver as the gift of service and kindness if offered. The goodness provided rubs off on the person trying to offer the good and we become better people as a result. Something inside of us is touched and humbled and inspired.
For me, at this point in my life, I have to say that #5 is the most encouraging. It has taken me almost 40 years…but I see that I am capable of changing my path in life. I think understanding I am imperfect, helps me understand that everyone else is too. It gives us the courage to be patient and more forgiving of others mistakes. Seeing my own imperfects is ugly at times, but then I find it amazing that I can work to improve my reactions and my thought processes.
I just found your blog yesterday and am having a hard time tearing myself away to get things done…but I think I’ll go play with my kids instead. Thank you for the wonderful insight!
So wonderful to meet you, Kimberly.
I’m thrilled you found my blog and found it compelling enough to have had to wrestle to break free of it. I’ve tried to install a tractorbeam in it to pull passersby in, but hasn’t seemed to work yet.
But truthfully, I’m so glad you left reading to play with your kids. There is nothing more important than those precious moments that build on other precious moments until there is a catalogue of little memories for our kids to cherish and carry them through the rougher parts of growing up. You sound like a good mom!
As for our imperfections, we can be the harshest of judges, can’t we! What sometimes works for me is to imagine what I would say to my daughter if my many imperfections were hers. Would I condemn and castigate or love and forgive? My answer usually lands on the side of love and compassion.
Thanks for such a thoughtful comment, Kimberly. I look forward to getting to know you here in the comments!
I interesting through here
We work on progress not about perfect. No have perfect because you growth more so you will want be more.
And we not live alone, I mean in life we always reach out other people so we can give best from our heart to other.
Thank you posts, them give me think about myself and things that learned.
Welcome Chu Nam! So glad you stopped by. I think our desire to be perfect so often gets in the way of our growth when that desire for perfection turns into self-condemnation for not being perfect.
And you’re right that we’re not alone. The more we can reach out to others, the more lifted our lives will feel as well.
Thanks so much for coming by. Hope to see you around here again!
Helping people in need is not always recognized as beneficial to people who are hurting. However, in my own life I found that when I was in the worst place, what helped me the most was helping others. Someone said, “If you need help, help someone.” I’m glad you included this in your list.
Galen Pearl recently posted … The Finding Game
Great point about helping people in need not always being perceived as help. But the more we get out of ourselves to help others, the less we are focused inward on all the misery people with depression feel.
I like that phrase: “If you need help, help someone.”
Thanks Galen!
Such an inspiring post! I really like your 8th point on universal principles, sometimes they are more important than our personal goals…
Nina recently posted … Der erste Eintrag gleich vom Urlaub auf Korfu!
Thanks so much, Nina!
I agree with you about the importance of universal principles. Because they are life-governing, we do best when we align our goals and values with those principles; we knock our heads against the walls of life when we don’t.
Thanks for the comment, Nina!
PS: Love the photo!
I love the thoughts in item number 5. After all, those imperfections can be remedied, or we can play on improving our strengths; meaning we are truly just a work in progress.
Andy recently posted … christmas sheet music carols for piano solo
So true, Andy! And that’s what life is all about anyway, right?. No one is perfect. And no one expects us to be … except, perhaps, ourselves. So we ought to lighten up on ourselves a bit and keep working to improve, but be patient with the progress at the same time.
Take care!
Ken
i am thankful for your posts
the world is full of negativity and finding something positive along the way really help. keep up the amazing work
Thanks Farouk.
Loved this post Ken. I think it’s so true…when we look at the events and experiences in our life, we don’t necessarily see what’s true or real, we see our perception of what’s true and real.
Like a lot of others who’ve commented, I too am drawn to #6. It’s amazing what happens when we reach out to love another, when we put our attention on what might be supportive, or helpful to someone else.
Elle
xoxo
Elle recently posted … Who Else Wants A New Or Better Career?
I like that, Elle. We grow as part of the human family when the human family itself grows. When we become part of the solutions to others problems, our problems take on new shape and form. They get placed in proper perspective and seem to shrink almost exponentially as we serve and bless others.
Have a great day, Elle!
Hi Ken,
I love all the reasons and in particular number 4 and number 6. I remember when I used to always want to do everything perfectly, and never ‘fail’. This was until I learnt we need to fail in order to learn and grow. These days I like to gloriously celebrate my imperfections, at least once a day! 🙂
And there is nothing like being of service others. It is a special duty and the work of God. And God bless you, my friend.
Hiten recently posted … Rising up in the game of life
Thanks so much, Hiten. I like that: “gloriously celebrate my imperfections, at least once a day!” So long as we keep taking steps toward living the lives we were meant to live, our failures will be great opportunities to reassess and recalibrate our aim, adjust course, and keep developing and improving.
God bless you too, my friend!
Hi Ken. This is a really encouraging post about loving life. And you’re right. It’s our perception that influences how we see things. If we’re wearing rose coloured lenses we’ll see the world in that colour. Take that off and put on dark glasses, every thing becomes dark.
Life rocks and it has so many beauties. Even the hardships are there to make us stronger, so what’s there to worry about? I’ve written a lot about life’s perspective. I’m still waiting for you to pop by ‘my place’ for a visit.
Anne recently posted … Change Your Life Right Now: 5 Tips
Thanks Anne! Life is what we perceive it to be. I think one of the tricks to living well is to get our perceptions of it ever closer to the reality of it.
I love the wisdom and attitude behind this statement: “Life rocks and it has so many beauties. Even the hardships are there to make us stronger, so what’s there to worry about?”
I know! I do stop by, but haven’t commented yet. I used to comment all over the personal development corner of the blogosphere, then got so busy. it’s rare to find me anywhere but in my own front yard here at M2bH. I’m trying to finish off my first eBook for sell and am launching a new blog by the end of summer, called The Daily Thought Blog. Lots to do. But yes, I will drop by and say hi soon. I’ve noticed a guest post now, so will wait to say hi on one you’ve posted.
Take care, Anne!
It is a good thing we’re works in progress. I love the idea that we have the power to change, when we need to, and when it comes to changing attitudes, it is never too late. It is only too late when we die, because that is final. But even villains who confess and apologize on their deathbeds are seen as heroes – which says a lot for goodness, right? (Or does it mean I see a lot of movies?)
My Mom always emphasized on being “good”. That word encompassed all positive things – some of which seemed unacceptable to me, depending on my state of mind at the time. For instance, being nice to someone who has hurt deeply did not seem to make sense – right away. I’d wonder how my Mom was able to do that. But you know what? as time went by, I realized that her mental health could be attributed to that very quality. She was able to move on. Festering inside never allows us to appreciate the present. Ah, but it does take convincing, and experience to have faith in such things. Glad I was a fast learner.
And then there is the unexpected pleasure of learning from those we least expect to, which covers what not to be, as much as what to be. I love that children teach us so many things in a simple way, especially the under-fifth-graders. They never carry things over. If they’re sad, they cry, get consoled and get on with life. When they’re happy they show it. They’re physically affectionate. What better way can there be to live life? Uh oh, and then they grow up and start collecting baggage. 😀
I love the challenges we face, big and small. When we are open to them, they give us the opportunity to grow, stretch and reach out, building us, strengthening us.
And I like reading inspiring posts that suddenly brighten up my day a little more.
Love, Vidya
Vidya Sury recently posted … Great Expectations
It’s funny how moms and dads seem to gain so much wisdom as we get older! I thought mine were so backward thinking when I was a know-it-all teen. And then as I started picking up a little wisdom here and there, my parents started seeming less dumb and ignorant than they had before.
I Like your mom! It can be so difficult to let offenses slide, but the more we are able to, and the more instantaneously we can, the smoother life becomes. I’m pretty good at doing that, but there is always room for improvement.
Life is just brimming full of little lessons to remind and prompt and teach us. And they come in all sizes and packages, from infants to your fifth graders to wise mothers, to the rich and the poor and the famous and the obscure. Everyone has something to teach, whether in the positive (do this) or in the negative (never try that!). We just have to keep out hearts and eyes open enough to see them.
You’re a wise woman, Vidya! So glad to call you friend. Thanks for living such an inspiring life!