“Faced with the choice of enduring a bad toothache or going to the dentist, we generally tried to ride out the bad tooth.” ~Joseph Barbera
I was recently sitting in the dentist’s chair thinking about my mouth. I don’t usually spend much time doing that, but that day was different.
The mouth-awareness mood was set by the dental assistant who was sucking spit, excess filling material and my lungs from the back of my throat with the aspirator.
And it suddenly dawned on me that personal development is really a lot like going to the dentist.
Sounds strange, perhaps, but not so much as you might think.
Here are 5 examples of what I mean. At the end, let me know what you think.
1. We wait to keep waiting
We hurry to get to our scheduled dental appointments on time, then have to wait in waiting rooms for our turn to wait in dental chairs for the dentist to get around to poking us with very sharp instruments.
We would do well to approach personal development with the same attitude—a willingness to wait for the process to work out the desired results as we stumble and fall and get back up again, learning and growing as we go, usually an inch or less at a time.
Our personal development results may not be measured in minutes, or even days, but in weeks or months or years. So bring a good book, put your feet up and enjoy the process.
2. There’s lots of poking around between teeth
I’ve gone to the dentist for a simple cleaning, let the dentist poke around in my mouth for a while, then walked out 2 hours later with two cavities filled, a root canal, a follow-up appointment for more work, and a bill that weighed more than me!
But that’s often what poking around does. As with teeth and mouths, so with psyches and character. The more we look, the more emotional plaque and decay we find in our lives.
But don’t be alarmed by what you discover for all the poking. Just be glad you have lots of opportunities for personal growth. Just like a dentist finding a cavity you didn’t know you had, when we discover emotional or character issues we didn’t know about the day before, we empower ourselves to correct them before they get stuck deep in the root and tissue of our lives.
3. Relief comes after the pain
When we go to the dentist with a throbbing ache in our sweet tooth, the dentist is quick to make us very uncomfortable. It often hurts as she pinches and pushes, pokes, picks and prods.
But when she’s done, it always feels better (at least once the swelling goes down). Those who stay away for fear of the poking and prodding eventually make an appointment with much bigger dental problems.
Good hygiene comes at the other side of regular dental pinches. Good character also comes at the far end of pokes at our moral fiber. And happiness after the sting of emotionally difficult trials, just as good health follows the ache of exhaustion, sore muscles and the “pain” of self-discipline.
4. Sometimes root canals and extraction are needed
Isn’t it strange how we can experience pain without always recognizing its cause? All we know is that it hurts. Just as a dentist often finds the problem below the gum line in a tooth that has been rotting from the inside out, infecting the very roots of our teeth, we can also have problems festering below the surface of our pasts, infecting the roots and bone matter of our lives.
Sometimes the rot is in the form of boiling hatred or knee-jerk judgments or attitudinal tumors or mental plaque or character decay.
At other times, we need to extract a friendship or a habit or some behavior from our lives that undermines our dreams or values. Such extractions require the insight to recognize the needed change, the courage to act and determination to follow through.
5. Fluoride Treatments are better than root canals
Just as fluoride treatments are preventive, meant to strengthen teeth against future cavities, so daily prayer and meditation, daily acts of kindness and service and reading regularly from scripture and other works of wisdom and inspiration are preventive measures against the emotional and spiritual viruses that plague too many unhappy lives.
But just as it’s easy to employ preventive measures like dental floss and mouth wash and fluoride treatments, it’s also easy not to.
When we fail to act preemptively to guard against moral and emotional viruses, we open ourselves to their malignant influence and, in the end, to more drastic corrective measure later.
Afterthoughts
No one I know likes going to the dentist. We dread the prospect, so some of us wait too long between appointments or just don’t go at all. But we usually pay a steep price.
The result of this failure can be receding gum lines, bad breath, discolored teeth, few friends, and all kinds of dental problems with hard-to-pronounce names and hard-to-pay bills.
The difference between those who make regular visits and those who don’t is the difference between those who have very few aching teeth or root canals or other dental problems and those who spend too much of their time and means sitting in dental chairs waiting for dentists to do very expensive things in their mouths.
So as we look into the mirror of our own lives and poke around in our open souls, resist the urge to run at the first sign of blood and keep poking around at the raw parts.
Then do to your life what dentists do to your teeth. Fix what needs fixing. Correct what needs correcting. Then offer yourself some very sound advice to keep flossing between teeth.
In the end, you’ll be the happier for it.
Your Turn!
- Convinced? Is personal development something similar to going to the dentist?
- What other ways is it similar?
- Or what else is it more like?
- Let us know what resonated with you in the comments below!
And please Share this post on Facebook and Tweet it or otherwise get the word out if you liked what I had to say.
i like the analogy especially that i was at the dentist yesterday : )
farouk recently posted … Psychology of dog, cat and pet owners
Hope all went well yesterday, Farouk! Glad you liked the analogy.
Hi Ken! So wonderful to “see” you! I think that this must be a first…a post that can compare the agony of going to the dentist to the potential agony of self growth. Your analogies are at once delightful and compelling. While I would like to say that not EVERYONE hates going to the dentist (please tell me it isn’t so) 😉 I definitely found relatedness to each of your examples when it comes to poking around in our own lives. Sometimes the pain and yuck that we encounter make the end result that much more beautiful. A great take away from your post is that if we make regular visits to the dentist (if we take regular and long honest looks at ourselves in the mirror) we are far better equipped to maintain good oral health (we are far better able to see the truth and beauty in our lives). Thank you for sharing such a fun(!) and thought provoking post!
hugs,
Claudia
Claudia recently posted … A Sign of the Times
Hi Claudia! Yes, so good to “see” you also! I’ve missed you here. Thanks so much for accepting the invite! 🙂
I love my dentist—just don’t love the visit! But I have heard since writing this post that there are some people who find the visit quite pleasant. Tender parts and sharp instruments just don’t make for very comfortable partners in my mind. But I certainly do like the effect of going regularly.
You make a great point about the poking leading to appreciating the beauty more. Light does seem a lot brighter after coming out of the dark, right?
I also really liked the way you said this: “if we take regular and long honest looks at ourselves in the mirror, we are far better able to see the truth and beauty in our lives.” Not only do we find the decaying parts that need attention, like you said, we also notice some pretty awesome parts we may not have noticed before.
Glad you enjoyed—and hope I didn’t misrepresent dentistry too wildly! 😉
Profound post Ken, how true your words are. Interestingly, I never have anxiety about the outcome of my visit to the dentist.; Sadly, not the same can be said about the results of my personal development. Thankfully, I am aware of this and am fast learning to trust the process.
Wade Balsdon recently posted … Using Fish Oil for Good Mental Health
Thanks Wade! I wouldn’t say I’ve experienced anxiety so much as just a profound desire to be almost anywhere else! 😉
That’s great that you have that awareness. Too many people never really look deeper than skin level, so the deeply hidden parts of their psyches and characters remain hidden, never showing themselves very obviously in the mirror. Recognition is half the fight. So, yes, trust the process and be patient with the daily steps down the self-development road, my friend.
Ken you did an awesome job drawing these parallels. I could see what you meant as soon as I read it. Wonderful job!
I agree with your points and especially with point 5. Daily meditation and prayer is the best way to avoid the rot in the first place. The work is so much harder to do if left untouched or untended for a long time. Prevention, as they say, is better than cure and I believe that.
Anne recently posted … Confidence And Forgiveness
You’re too kind, Anne! Such parallel-drawing posts are fun to write. I always start with way too many connections (Novocain, spit-sucking tubes. little dental mirrors, cleaning, flossing, X-rays, etc.), then have to start combining some and getting rid of others so my post doesn’t become too ridiculously long (some go on too long anyway!).
Well said, Anne: “The work is so much harder to do if left untouched or untended for a long time.” Things pile up, compound and dig deeper into the bone marrow of life when not taken care of along the way. And yet we still procrastinate and put off, wait and delay so often, as though we didn’t know any better! Oh well—one step at a time, as they say!
Love this! I especially agree that sometimes it takes some pain while we are going through personal changes. I have learned how to better bounce back from setbacks with greater resilience after reading Stop Playing Safe: Rethink Risk. Unlock the Power of Courage. Achieve Outstanding Success by Margie Warrell, which I highly recommend to anyone who wants to learn how to overcome fear and have more courage. You can find the author’s website here: http://margiewarrell.com/
So glad you liked the post, Betty!
You are blessed to have developed the quality of bouncing back from difficulty quickly. So many people get stuck in the middle of a problem, then they take on the identity of the challenge, then self-define themselves by it, then live from under its weight, never escaping the pressure of fear and doubt. I’m glad you were able to find help in Margie’s work (and thank you for the link to her site and the recommendation).
You’re welcome, Ken :-). Thank you! I hope you enjoy Margie’s book as much as I did.
Once again, you have taken something from ordinary life and turned it into a life lesson! I especially liked the first point since my word of the year this year is Wait! Great analogy!
Galen Pearl recently posted … Tapping of the Heart
I guess I see most of life (ordinary events or otherwise) as containing some seed of a lesson.
That’s right! I was actually just thinking about the concept of a word for the year a day or two ago. I think there is great merit in such long-term concentration on one trait or quality. How’s the year going focused on “Wait!” by the way?
I know I can dive head-first into things before taking the time to wait and think and make decisions in a less frenzied state. It’s sometimes steered me right (spontaneous decisions without much forethought have led to trying things a little thought would likely have dissuaded me from attempting—like blogging?). But it has also served me poorly (saying yes too quickly, starting large projects I wasn’t equipped to handle at the time and the like).
Good reminder. I’ll work on waiting too.
You asked how my word is going this year. I have to say, when the word first came to me New Year’s Eve, I wasn’t that enthusiastic. Yet it has turned out to be one of the most important words that have ever come to me.
I am learning that the waiting I am called to is not passive waiting. On the contrary, it is very engaged waiting. It is waiting in faith, trusting in the basic goodness of the universe, allowing myself to be guided by the “tapping of the heart” (like I just wrote about), rather than plunging ahead with my own agenda. It is a word that does not listen to fear but rather listens to the ancient wisdom that is in all of us.
I have to admit it is not an easy word. It is taking me deeper into the mystery, asking me to suspend judgment, promising me, well, nothing less that union with the divine.
When I write that, it sounds a bit crazy. But living it has been transforming. And the year isn’t even half over!
Galen Pearl recently posted … Tapping of the Heart
I know what you mean about union with the divine. I call it being in tune with the Spirit. I don’t think it sounds crazy at all. But then that’s because I relate. I suppose to ears not used to such talk, it can sound a bit other-worldly, huh.
I’m so happy for the success you’re having with your word. I guess “Wait!” isn’t quite as sexy a word as “Love” or “Live” or “Reach” and the like. But it does sound like it was just the word you needed.
Okay, enough of me talking—I’m going to go read your latest!
That’s quite an analogy, Ken… I don’t think I’ll ever look at the dentist chair quite the same again. Or maybe being in the chair will be good opportunity to consider personal development options. 🙂
Lisa recently posted … Snack-Sized Wisdom
Hi Lisa!
I just left a comment over at your place–just couldn’t resist the title of your latest post.
So glad to give you something else to think about other than drills other scary dental devices. 🙂
Haha I really like these comparisons. I always try to work on myself as a person as well as visit my dentist, Richmond Dental in Vt, as much as I can! I want clean teeth AND a good lifestyle.
Clive Barke recently posted … Who Can Benefit from Dental Sealants?
Hey, I liked the way you related Personal development to a dentist visit. I agree with the points you mentioned. Most the time I Skip the visit but I will surely go from next time.
What a great statement. It is interesting to note that I never experience concerns about the results of my dental visit. However, the same is true regarding the outcome of my personal growth. Thankfully I am conscious of it and getting used to the process.
RELIEF COMES AFTER THE PAIN. It’s a tremendous feeling.
This was a great comparison. Personal development with dental care. Made total sense and great life lessons.