“No enemy is worse than bad advice.” ~ Sophocles
Are you a Personal Development Junkie? Do you surf the web in search of your next high, the next blog with the newest twist or next fix to your personal development needs?
There is a lot to choose from. Perhaps hundreds of thousands of blogs dealing with some aspect of self-improvement fill the blogosphere. Many will be abandoned by the end of their first year. Many more will replace them only to drop out of sight themselves over the course of their inaugural run.
Some are decent. Fewer are really good. Most fall somewhere below average. I’ll let you decide where to file mine. But only a tiny handful will work their way to the top of the field.
The point of this post is to suggest that some personal development blogs may be doing you more harm than good, or at least enough harm as to undermine the good. It’s important therefore to be aware of the signs that your personal growth is being undermined by the very resources used to pursue it.
5 Ways Personal Development Blogs can Ruin Your Life
1. You begin to feel your satisfying life is not up to par
So you always thought you had a pretty good life … until you started reading personal development blogs.
Hmmm.
When a blog starts shouting at you about the need to live your life so far out on the edge that if you’re not climbing mountains or swimming with sharks or zip lining across the Amazon rainforest, then you’re not really living life, run away. You don’t need to feel like life is mediocre just because you’re not a 23 year old living a 23 year old life of high adventure.
No need to run with the bulls to feel alive. No need to give speeches to the swaying masses to have a life worth living. No need to walk on hot coals to wake up and live life to its fullest.
If such activities do it for you, fine. My point is only that blogs that warn us that life is not quite a life worth living without such high adventure may be undermining your happiness and personal growth.
An Alternative Approach: Whether it’s climbing mountains or any of the more subdued interests in life like music, playing with your children, poetry, performing acts of service or stamp collecting, go find something that floats your boat. Get passionate about something you love. Get into it. Let it lift you and carry you and drive you, no matter how unsexy or uninspiring or even downright boring it may seem to someone else. All you need is to enjoy it yourself. You don’t have to make money doing it either. You just have to love it.
2. You start seeing your imperfect family as an obstacle to “real” success
Some blogs advise us to walk away from anyone who stops us from truly living, from seeking our dreams, from living free and authentic lives, pushing our comfort zones to the edge in an adventurous rush of heart-pounding adrenaline.
They’re wrong. Growing a family is truly living. There is nothing more alive than raising and loving your family. There is nothing more “in the trenches of life” than leading children down the path to adulthood. There is nothing deeper or more adventurous than helping children through adolescence or wiping away a tear from the face of a lonely child or learning to communicate with your spouse at the deepest level, or forgiving another human being clumsily trying to be a good husband or wife.
There is no better gift you can give, service you can render or difference you can make than loving your family. (<– Tweet this!)
To be a successful parent and spouse is to accomplish something more important and more profound than any entrepreneur or inventor or mountain climber or hot coal walker could ever think to accomplish otherwise.
An Alternative Approach: Instead, see your family as the most important work you will ever be a part of. See your family as the highest goal you will ever set, the most accomplished undertaking you will ever begin, the best and most rewarding work you will ever do. Your family is not an obstacle to your goals. Your family is your highest achievement. (<– Tweet This!)
3. You start feeling guilty every moment you’re not 100% on fire, productive, turning the world upside down
Life is not only about productivity. Never feel guilty for putting your feet up for a while.
Those personal development bloggers who are best at what they do provide us with ways of improving our lives and using our time well (I try to do that here). They motivate and inspire and urge us to live a better life. You can sense their concern, perhaps even love for their readers as they nudge us forward. It is, after all, the personal development industry we’re writing in.
But a line has been crossed when it’s suggested we are somehow subpar for watching too many TV shows after the kids go to bed. Of course there are better ways to use our time and I will be first to tell you that.
But when personal development blogs imply that we are somehow failing life for letting time slip away without having done much with that particular package of it, perhaps it’s time to walk away in search of a more nuanced motivational method.
An Alternative Approach: Rather than a life filled with unnecessary guilt for going slower than some bloggers think you should, learn to enjoy the quiet moments while increasing your ability to pursue more meaningful goals at the same time.
4. The posts provide bad information about important subjects
There are untold numbers of people looking for answers to serious questions and guidance through real problems. Some of those problems may have medical components to them. But there are blogs that offer advice and information that is just dead wrong or so incomplete as to steer the reader down self-defeating paths.
Now it’s true that even professionals in any field with nice shiny degrees from leading academic institutions hanging on their office walls often disagree with their colleagues. So having THE right answer isn’t what I’m advocating. Still, some bloggers can really do harm swimming in topics they know little to nothing about.
Be wary of advice given by the inexperienced who have something to say about topics it seems they Googled earlier that morning.
An Alternative Approach: Don’t take the word of a blogger on any given topic without checking for a second opinion as you would a medical doctor. If second opinions are recommended for medical concerns overseen by doctors with PhDs, even more important to double check with a whole variety of people sending their two cents over the internet. This doesn’t mean wise people without degrees have no place inspiring people to live better and overcome real obstacles in their lives. But trust your instincts. If it feels wrong, check, but go with your gut, at least at first and especially if it has served you well in the past.
5. The blog tells you to attack all comfort zones simply because they are comfort zones
Machinery that runs on high all the time wears out and breaks down faster than those that are allowed to cool down and recharge and get oiled and lubed from time to time. People are like that too.
It’s okay to allow some parts of your life to run on autopilot. Its okay to enjoy a well running organization, family or life for a while without major self-imposed hurtles to jump.
Not every step needs to be taken in a sprint. Not every problem needs you to solve it. Not every comfort is a trap to escape. Sometimes sitting down is necessary. Sometimes it just feels good. (<– Tweet this!)
An Alternative Approach: Choose a comfort zone or two where you seem to have settled into a self-defeating rut and start to stretch yourself there. As you grow, choose other areas of your life in need of a good tug. But no need to go on an all-out assault on all comfort zones everywhere. You just may want to keep a couple nearby. They are, after all, comfortable.
Bonus #6: You feel your faith is under attack
The personal development industry is thick with those who have looked up and found no God in the clouds and have concluded the heavens must therefore be empty. Free speech is a given, so I’m okay with their right to express their beliefs.
But some feel compelled to make it their mission in life to turn others away from their faith. My point here is that if you are a person of faith, beware that this sub-motive exists in the writing of some bloggers.
You wouldn’t ask an electrician to fix a plumbing problem, so why ask questions of faith of the faithless? (<– Tweet this!)
An Alternative Approach: Challenge your beliefs, especially where they seem to be holding you back from living a true or noble life of deep conviction and purpose and meaning. But don’t throw your faith out the window just because someone else thinks it’s based on the absurd. Peer under the hood of most people’s thoughts, attitudes, fears, assumptions and beliefs, and you’ll find all kinds of things that seem a bit bizarre and illogical. Religious people have no monopoly on the apparently unbelievable (what believers might call the miraculous). Don’t let others convince you otherwise.
Afterthoughts
Having said all this, let’s turn the tables back to a favorite topic: Self-responsibility (the only way to ultimate happiness). Blogs are op-ed pieces. They are opinions. Some opinions are good. Some are not. But your life is your own. Use discernment and wisdom. Take what you read with a grain of salt and tread lightly, at least at first. Let the blogger/author develop credibility with you over time. Don’t jump off the deep end at the first article you read that tells you what you want to hear.
Remember, no one can make you lose hope or feel guilt or lose faith or anything else. Take responsibility for your own feelings. Take control of the ship you’re sailing. No one else can without your consent.
Ultimately, you are responsible for any of the problems listed above. You make the choice to credit the author with enough authority as to inspire your feelings and reactions as you read the posts the blog provides—mine included.
The best blogs don’t make these mistakes, or at least not consistently or for long. Be sure not to judge a blog by a post or two (unless those posts are truly bad). But neither should you fail to make some sort of judgment about the content the blog provides.
In the end, it’s your life. Live it without excuses!
YOUR TURN!
So, what do you think? Agree or disagree? Have I overstated the case?
And don’t forget to share this word of caution using your favorite social media if the message resonated with you! Just click one (or more!) of the icons below.
ive always wanted to tackle that topic Ken but i never did
bad content is more than good content out there
some people spread incorrect information then claim that its the ultimate way to happiness
glad someone talked about that
farouk recently posted … Why women like twilight and why you should care
It’s a big topic, for sure. But someone had to talk about it! 🙂
That’s a big one, Ken. Indeed, in a world where everyone seemingly “has something to say about topics they Googled earlier that morning” (I love that!) we must digest these blogs skeptically and independently. A great way to think independently is to engage in a process that I call Operation Wonder. Engaging in Operation Wonder requires the willingness to question everything you believe and everything that is force fed to us. We must learn how to listen to our authentic voice, not to thought-voices that parrot the opinions of others. Our authentic voice knows what is best, and it always speaks the truth.
rob white recently posted … The $67,000 question
Hey Rob! Blind faith to traditions is a weak foundation on which to build a life, for sure. I love the first lines from the Kipling poem that goes like this:
“I keep six honest serving-men
(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who.”
Questions are powerful things. By asking them and following them to their answers, we grow and are empowered and freed to act in ways a question-less life doesn’t allow.
Here’s to Operation Wonder, Rob!
I can totally understand your facts, self-development tests make me usually upset with their schematic style and content… it is really hard to find something valuable in that scene…
Regi recently posted … Fogbeültetés Budapesten
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Regi.
Interesting and thought provoking post Ken. It’s all so subjective, like most things in life. It seems to me and it’s what I do with anything I read, be it an article, a book or a post, that we simply need to take on board whatever resonates with us. And test whatever principle is being espoused, for ourselves. Does it work for me? If not, no need to accept it in our world.
We definitely need to be discerning in what we’re willing to accept as true for us – you know what they say about one man’s meat being another man’s poison…or something like that.
And ultimately, as you say, we are all responsible for our own lives, our choices and decisions as to what works for us and what doesn’t.
Love Elle
xoxo
Elle recently posted … A Simple Guide To Better Relationships.
Thanks Elle. If nothing else, I hope I provoke the occasional thought. 🙂
What you say is so true, but there are people in such desperate straights, they are not really in much of a position to rely on their own sense of discernment and trial and error for the correct answers to their dilemmas.
I just think there is a responsibility to have more than a desire to make money off the internet as the motivation to start a personal development blog. While I don;t do spiritualism here, there are plenty of sites that do. And if someone is looking for that, they can find it. So to some degree, to each his own. But where unwise and inaccurate and misleading information tempts readers down paths of self-defeat, the blogger has done a disservice to those seeking help and answers and insight.
I don;t bemoan their right to blog any opinion under the sun. But I want readers to be armed with ways of recognizing those blogs that may lead them down paths that go nowhere.
Still, there is objectivity in the process for sure. And yes, whatever emotional share we’re in, ultimately, we are self-responsible.
Hi Ken,
“Personal Development” has been hijacked…it’s morphed mainly into a ‘buy this, you will be glad you did’ minefield. There’s a lot of good stuff out there. Yes it is subjective. Yes a lot in our world also is.
Do what you feel is right for you is the best policy in my opinion. It comes down to personal choice…and if you are not happy with your Life right now, then change something.
be good to yourself
David
David Stevens recently posted … Momentum & Clarity…what it means in the Bigger picture of Life
I suppose it’s similar to most things in life. We have options. It’s up to us to pick and choose what’s best for us amongst the possibilities.
And while I agree that there are lots of people selling lots of products online, I’m fine with that. If we trust the seller, we spend our money for products we think will help us. If they don’t, most have something like a 30 day return policy. If it’s not worth the money paid, the blogger won’t make much because everyone will be returning what they buy. If it adds value at least equal to the price, it’ll be kept and the blogger will be paid for his/her efforts. The market of ideas will largely prevail in the long run.
Thanks for sharing, David!
Love, love, love – no matter what the question or the opinion love is always the answer. I agree Ken there is a lot of stuff out there that could make a person feel less than or trigger the voice of the judge when they read the article.
My suggestion to folks if you don’t feel uplifted kick it to the curb!
With aloha, Susan
Susan Gregg recently posted … Episode 90: Clearing Up Confusion
“Kick it to the curb.” I like that, Susan. I think we also need to be willing to look deeply into the advice and ask the hard question, “Is this true?” Sometimes uplifting is needed. But sometimes challenge is. Sometimes we look for ways around instead of accepting self-responsibility for our lives and working our way through. We look to blame and want validation for our position. Truth can hurt those hiding from it.
Still, I certainly agree with your larger point. In the end, we can kick whatever doesn’t sit right with us to the curb and click to the next advice-giver, right?
As a personal development enthusiast, my stance on personal development is that life is surely not perfect and it tends to be inherently annoying and difficult. Therefore, personal development is in NO way the be-all and end-all, but rather a tool to inspire your success and to distract yourself from all of life’s noise.
Kevin Martin recently posted … This Is What Life Is
Haha! Personal development as a distraction from life’s noise. Hey there Kevin. That’s a fun way to look at it. I don;t know if I would look at it as a distraction, but certainly it’s no be-all end-all. But the best (to me, anyway) tend to talk about principles that are universal and timeless. They identify fundamental truths more that prescribe specific practices. Practices change with culture and condition but principles don’t. They are the bedrock of personal growth. And self-improvement is no mere distraction. But I totally agree that good personal development is a tool to inspire success. And like all things, the outcome is something pretty close to the quality of the tools we use to build it.
My hope is to give readers something to think about to help make those determinations that improve the quality of the tools they rely on.
I love unique perspectives, Kevin. Thanks for sharing yours.
Hi Ken,
You’re so right with this post. This comment by Elle made such sense to me –
‘Does it work for me? If not, no need to accept it in our world.’
I always make it clear to my readers why I feel able to help them, what my experience and qualifications are and they seem to find my suggestions helpful. But there are many bloggers out there who waffle about stuff they have little knowledge about. As you say (giggle!) they Googled the topic that day!
I love this blog design, so clear and clean. Brill.
Linda Hewett recently posted … If You Could Have Only One ‘Confidence’ Question Answered, What Would It Be?
Hi Linda! So good to see you!
I love stopping by and reading your posts, Linda. You have such a poetic way of weaving your insight and experience into eloquent expressions of wisdom. Simply magic!
Glad you like the blog design. I’m always tweaking it here and there. It’s an ever-evolving work in progress. 🙂
🙂 What an excellent topic,Ken, and one most people would be wary of touching – the proverbial can of worms.
It is very easy to get carried away by all the thousands of real and pretend personal development blogs out there. For someone looking for an answer to something, all the information available can be so overwhelming. I’ve looked for stuff and have often forgotten what I was looking for. (which may or may not be a good thing :D) And there are very few “Teachers” who can touch the heart and bring on that warm feeling of satisfaction that says “I am so glad I read this today” (I know who I’d like to link to the word “Teachers”!)
I especially loved your point about the comfort zone. My Gramma had a Tamil saying, which roughly translated, was something like: “She went to rectify it and made a royal mess out of it”. Sometimes, PD is too abstract and if the perception is not right, it is downhill from there. If the “advice” or solution opposes a basic and comforting belief, that’s a red flag.
You know, I find the answers to many things in the people around me, and sometimes, children. Oh what logic they display! Valuable advice often comes from the most unexpected folks – and for me, they are the supermarket staff, my watchman (building security fella), the guys at the medical store. When I tell them objectively about something – the solutions they come up with are often stunningly simple.
I know how crazy that sounds – but it works for me. It strengthens my relationships with people, and guarantees warm smiles, for me, and for them! What else can one ask for! Oh, the management guys call it brainstorming, no? 😀
My favorite line in this post is this: In the end, it’s your life. Live it without excuses!
Thank you, Ken! Big Hugs!
Vidya Sury recently posted … Moments
I have to admit that I was wary of touching it too, Vidya. But alas, nervousness and little pangs of fear rarely keep me from much of anything, I’m afraid. 🙂 But I was concerned about some of my favorite bloggers wondering if I had them in mind as they read. I didn’t want that.
But then again, I suppose we can all use a moment here and there of forced introspection. 😉 We should come out the other end just a tad better than when we entered.
I remember being contacted by one of the bigger personal development bloggers about my design and content, for example. She thought I offered something promising, but lacked a few fundamentals and took time out of her busy schedule to reach out to me and offer some much needed advice. My current design is a direct result of her suggestions. I filled up several pages of notes as we later talked on the phone. Her critique was not always absolutely comfortable, but she was 100% correct. My look and writing improved dramatically because of her. Still, I did approach the topic with some fear and trepidation. 🙂
I love what you said about finding answers in children. M2bH is actually my second blog. I had another one called Life by the Lesson and used my son as the springboard to discussing raising moral kids and other life issues. I haven’t updated in over a year, but miss it. I loved making connections between things my son would say or do to life and drawing out lessons from those experiences and circumstances. I actually still have it as a link under “Sites I Love” in my footer. I’m thinking about changing it over from blogger to WordPress and spiffing it up a bit. We’ll see. Always so much to do, right?
Hugs back at you, my dear friend!
I definitely agree with you Ken. I’ve seen those blogs in question and try hard not to allow my blog to fall into those categories.
I want to, and love helping my readers. I never want to point them into a way of destruction or bad advice.
You’re right that no one can make you do anything. However – and this is a big however, some people are so low sometimes that they follow the first thing they find which seems to be a solution to their troubles. For people in such fragile state of mind, bloggers like us have to be extremely careful about what we say.
I once wrote an article on my Relationship Blog about ‘bad things that are good for relationships’, so I can relate well when you said that our families may seem incomplete, but they are our greatest achievement. Sometimes ‘boring’ or ‘routine’ are actually the very thing we need for stability.
Anne recently posted … Confidence To Take Risks
Hi Anne!
I guess the whole reason for writing this post was exactly what you hit on, the reality that there are countless people in such desperate straights that they are willing to accept whatever advice they bump into. And some of the advice out there is questionable at best. Ultimately, we do own the responsibility to filter through what strikes us as silly and adopt what seems to work. But there is still the reality of some who won’t. This post hopes only to act as a warning to those who are desperately searching for something who might stop by here on their way to other blogs looking for answers and insight.
I’ve talked with people who truly thought their family life was wonderful. And then they came across content that started planting seeds of doubt and resentment. Now I have no problem shining a light on the parts of life we keep buried and in closets. Denial does not make for a happy family. But the family is such an important, even sacred part of life that the advice that can start to sink down into open and searching hearts just needs to be good, solid, responsible.
Like you, I hope my writing served others well, Anne. I work hard to make sure it does, anyway! 🙂
The rules of friendship is no different on the web – there is the initial fascination, and when that goes away, something else has to be in place: some trust, some mutual benefit, a sense of equality, the joy of giving and accepting a hand when needed.
Some bloggers master this – I really hope it can be learned, for I intend to learn in due time – and it is easily recognized: less hype and more couriousity. My entry to the world of blogging was years of following Zen Habits over mail, and Leo became a trusted friend is his own way – just as I have audio file friends, some who has even become good aquaintances. Theirs voices are like my mother’s voice: well known. loved, safe – but not without a “history” if you understand.
So we all have to be a little careful of who we let in, or at least let stay inside.
Life doesn’t come with a manual, certainly not in a single volume.
In Denmark there once was this TV add for a mobile phone provider, and the gimmick was that everything was well tuned, that you could race two mobile phone across a coffee table by sending them text messages – the buzzer would make them move, and one would win the phone derby. I really don’t think that this-or-that blog or (text) message makes a big difference: The content of the message is inconsequential. What is important is that you are actively in a recieving mode, that the buzzer is on.
If so, you do have a manual. If you do some shut-up-and-stay-quiet, and just stay loyal to your inner feeling (you know: Jimmy Cricket) your manual is super fast and super reliable: If it feels OFF, turn it off. If it feels right, turn it right ON. No guided missile system could ever be more efficient, precise or fast.
Blogs can be as far from being helpfull, as recipies can be from nutrients or for that matter religion from God.
This is a post from an important friend, helping us to realize that a slightly wrong decision of letting a rotten blog having an impact, can easily be rectified and our course corrected in an instant – before it accumulates ongoing lasting damage.
I expect no less from my friends, and thus Ken qualifies to be just that. Simple. Internet is just a circumstance, the game is the same old same old – thankfully.
You’re too kind, my friend!
I agree with you for most people searching the web for insight and inspiration to live a better life. That’s what I do and can easily discard what reads uninsightful or just plain false and assimilate what moves me or touches a chord or acts as a reminder or feels true. But for those who are at their wits end, who are desperately seeking something to steer them in a direction, to those people, content can matter very profoundly, it seems to me. Their ability to discern and recognize wise from unwise counsel can be compromised in such instances.
I like the way you describe building a sense of friendship with the author of a blog over time. It’s so true. I feel that same way as well. I read some writers and feel a connection to them. Trust develops. Even affection for them and the things they go through develops.
Thanks for the insight you shared here, Erik. It’s always welcomed!
You’re quite right. Isn’t life great?
For all of, in the pit or just out, we can only try. My point is, that even if the message is flawed, the trying itself is more important for any lasting results than whatever messages recieved. God is generous, and will protect anyone who seeks with an open heart. And those who seek with a closed heart, too.
But if everything is perfect, what of your post? It is part of the perfection, too. A perfection that must include some imperfection to be perfect. And a post of warning that makes perfect sense, and without which things would be out of order.
We must do what we do, and leave the responsability to Grace. We must allow “stupid” blogs/books/friends/spouses/***, because someone needs them as a step in their development. And yet we must patiently warn, do our thing and still remain both detached and compassionate.
Sometimes the best material does no good at all. With the wrong people, nothing works. With the right people, everything works. Even flawed material helps them, lifts them and starts them off on something good. It is not a question of pepsi, sprite, tea, wine, milk or any of that. It’s a simple matter of thirst.
It’s all very intricate, and still rock solid. You just carry on leading by example.
Agree with point 5 BIG TIME!!!
So much of Personal Development is about taking action.
Yet so much of happiness is about slowing down and smelling the roses.
Where’s the consistency? 🙂
It’s about finding the happy-medium… ensuring you are continually learning, developing, and becoming a better person, while doing it in an enjoyable way.
Brendan Baker recently posted … The Happiness Model – Why Finding Happiness is Not the Way
Well said, Brendan!
You nailed it. Happiness doesn’t work well stuck in pools of personal stagnation.
But it is also difficult to find when we never slow down enough to see it right under our feet.
Like you say, something in between works best.
Ken,
Great title and great post.
Personal development blogs can hinder one’s personal growth. However, in most of the cases, they won’t 🙂
Benefits of following personal development growth outweigh the side-effects.
Having said this, I feel that blogs are ‘new age’ books. And if a book can change life, then a blog can too.
Naveen | Planetnaveen recently posted … 50 Things to Do Before You Die
Hey Naveen,
I agree, in most cases they don’t. At least not in the long run. But there are ideas floating around out there that can really steer some down wrong roads. Ultimately, it’s each of our responsibility to accept or reject the more questionable advice circulating out there. But it’s still worth thinking about.
Having said that, I completely agree that pursuing personal development outweighs the side-effects. If I didn’t think blogs could change lives, I wouldn’t be blogging (it sure eats up lots of time, right?). I guess my point was only that some blogs are much worse at providing useful content than others. And some of that content is not only unuseful, it can be harmful.
So my post here is simply a warning to those searching for answers not to accept everything read online as the gospel truth. While the side-effects are worth the growth in general, it’s still better to avoid as many side-effects as reasonably possible. So my advice to seekers of insight is keep on pursuing personal development, just be wary about where you step. 🙂
Agreed Ken,
Sometimes, one needs to be careful while consuming information. In fact i would say, we can be selective while adopting the change. We need not change everything about ourselves. That breaks uniqueness quotient of life.
We can change the things what is holding back us from growth.
Thanks for the post Ken. This was real useful. Take care.
Naveen | planetnaveen recently posted … 50 Things to Do Before You Die
So BEAUTIFULLY stated, Ken. Thanks for a fantastic reminder, from someone who believes your blog always hits in just the right groove.
Greg at Tiny Bit Better recently posted … A Tiny Bit of Course Correction
Thanks so much, Greg. That means a lot to me. But I have no illusion that I carry The Truth to everyone. There will be times that what I write won’t hit the mark. That’s inevitable, I suppose. But I do put a lot into what I do here, so thanks again for the sentiment, Greg.
In the meantime, I’ll try my best to stay in the groove!
Oooh this is awesome, Ken. It’s a topic that’s been on my mind a lot lately, which is actually why I’ve been kind of out of the blogosphere. Certainly, there are blogs that help (like yours), but I felt like I was missing so much life by spending so much time online. It’s easy to get caught up in so much surfing and reading and miss the implementing, or even just enjoying how things *are*!
By the way…I wanted to thank you for your gentle nudges. I’m now a volunteer job coach at a local community resource center. I haven’t started working with folks just yet (need training), but I’m so thrilled to be finally serving. Thanks, Ken!! =)
Kaylee recently posted … Why You Should Play the Comparison Game
Yes! So true, Kaylee … and on two levels. Some people spend way too much time online, “living” a virtual world (especially if you count Facebook, Twitter and Youtube!), and not enough time actually living, enjoying the outdoors, spending face-to-face time with family and friends. It’s easy to get lopsided that way, so I’m glad to hear your out living!
Others spend way too much time learning, never applying. We all do that to some degree or another or at some times in our lives. It’s just so much easier to learn ABOUT something that to apply the things learned. And so we perpetually learn and never quite get around to becoming!
Kaylee! I’m so thrilled for you. Thanks so much for letting me know about your volunteer work. Keep me updated, okay? I’d really like to know how it all unfolds for you. Volunteering can be a transformative experience. Our attitudes about life, ourselves, the purpose and meaning of our lives and how we see our problems within a suddenly enlarged context, can truly bring out the best in us. Congratulations, Kaylee!
As a blogger myself I have to be careful of not coming across badly while simultaneously trying to provide my thoughts and it’s a minefield. As a reader of many blogs, I take this into consideration and I try to remember that every post I read is coming from a place of sincerity.
Ultimately I agree that blogs serve as a little nudge in a direction and we shouldn’t take everything that is written as gospel.
Jamie Flexman recently posted … 5 Reasons Why Time Is More Important Than Money
Well said, Jamie!
I think we all have a responsibility to seek out the truth before we spill our thoughts onto a post and hit “publish”. Opinion is just opinion, for sure, but not all readers recognize or are able to distinguish between helpful and hurtful opinion.
I’m sure misworded inferences and even misstated comments have found their way into some of my posts. Even the best and brightest have editors who weed out the misstatements from academic writings from highly acclaimed and heavily accredited and ivy league educated academicians.
Still, we need to be mindful of how what we say can be taken and to be as accurate as we can be. That requires lots of reading and lots of thinking. Some do that. I suspect many don’t.
Still, there is so much out there that does so much good in the world, nudging us closer to our best.
Thanks for being a voice that’s conscientious of the words used to motivate us to take action and grow and live something closer to our potentials.
“Authentic voice.” I like that Rob White. Do you think someone can be too authentic? Because, sometimes, I think I am. And sometimes I grow weary of my authentic self and want a new persona, but I always end up back to my authentic self.
Once again, Ken, great advice!
Marianne recently posted … Learning about Love: Day 75 – Teachings from the Dalai Lama
Rob says a lot of things I like too, Marianne.
What an interesting question, you ask. Can we be too authentic? I suppose it depends on how one defines authenticity. Is it authentic to tell a person their choice in fashion is hideous and their hair style is grotesque and that they really ought to think of getting plastic surgery to fix their face? I suppose to some it would be if that’s what they truly believed. But to me that’s just plain rude. I’ve heard the ugliest things said by people who ended their ugliness with, “I’m just saying” or “I’m just telling the truth.” Such people can keep their authenticity to themselves, thank you very much. 😉
But otherwise, living life as a pretense and facade isn’t a good thing either. But I know what you mean. If authenticity is living your pain, sometimes tossing it all to the road side for someone else’s authenticity would be nice once in a while.
Loved your question, Marianne. Thanks for asking it.
Your thoughts might lead to the personal development success and till its not the end. Great work and keep your thoughts coming.
Thanks! As a teacher by day, I’m rarely at a loss for words, so they’ll keep coming, for sure! 😉
Interesting stuff. Self improvement is a good thing but you don’t want it to become an “identity”. Focusing on self improvement extensively over a long period of time, you become a junkie of sorts in this field. You are just constantly working on yourself rather then getting on with life. The latter is the better deal, ideally using the skills learned through “self improvement”.
Billy recently posted … The Importance Of Implementing Habits
Hi Ken, nice share. I really enjoyed the personal development related suggestions you’ve provided here. I also believe getting wrong lessons from unprofessional personal development teacher will do more harm than good. So it’s better to verify a personal development coach previous working record or feedback before getting lessons.
Dr. Kate Siner recently posted … 5 MYTHS ABOUT LIFE PURPOSE IT’S TIME TO LET GO OF
I love this post and the tips within!
So many great points! It is a shame when personal development bloggers make you feel worse than when you started on your growth journey. I especially agree with the need to be doing something all the time. Some of the best ideas and breakthroughs I have had is when I am “doing nothing.” We have to have rest or we can work at our best!
Wonderful post! Thanks for putting together a great list!
Rahul Yadav recently posted … Top 10 Best Hospitals in Rewari – Most Reputed & Trusted
I myself was on of those as referred in this article. I’ve read many personal development books, watch hundreds or maybe thousands of hours of motivational videos and attended dozens of seminars about anything personal development. I won’t deny the valuable things I’ve learnt, but there’s a price for that as mentioned in the article. I constantly felt I wasn’t enough and not doing things right, and yes many times felt down and distant. I watched a video on YouTube talking about the massive personal development industry and it all made sense. I’ll share the link here but maybe you won’t be able to watch it in your location because this video apparently has pissed of lots of people in the personal development industry ( https://youtu.be/q9kcT4JtQMg ).
My take on this topic is, we’re all unique in our own way… yes personal development DOES HELP but ONLY if it’s a skill that you can learn and apply in life and work. Other personal development claimed to be are just another product as mentioned in the previous comment.