To change what you feel, to change what you do, to change how you live, change what you believe.
Belief molds reality into its own shape and form. It is responsible for the meaning that is created around that reality. It determines how events and circumstances are interpreted.
What you believe also provides context for what and how you think. It directs your feet down paths to inevitable ends.
What you do, in other words, is a direct extension of what you believe.
How do you live your life? How do you treat others? How do you let others treat you?
Do you hold grudges or forgive easily? Do you tend to surrender in the face of difficulty or buckle in and hit the gas? Do you join gangs or service clubs? Do you work out or neglect your health? Do you accept abuse or refuse to be disrespected? Do you read and learn and grow or watch TV all day? Do you passively accept or assertively pursue?
I don’t care whether you are an advocate of democratic processes or terrorism, you’re a bank robber or a cop, you complain and whine or are a positive optimist, all such life styles and behavior is a logical extension of what you believe.
If, for instance, I believed that I was stupid, just plain dumb as a door knob, and couldn’t do anything right if my life depended on it, there would be no way I would bother studying for a test, or applying for a promotion or seeking new training. Why would I? I’m guaranteed to fail, after all!
Given my belief about myself, who I am and am capable of, it would not only be a waste of time to try doing what I already know I will fail at, but my beliefs about myself would make the decision to passively accept whatever happens to me in life the most logical decision I could make.
The only problem, of course, is that the belief is fundamentally wrong. But if I believed it was true, it would create my reality, independent of The Truth.
If I believe the government rigs election results or the rich control the outcome, why would I possibly bother voting? What difference would it make?
If I believe that I’m no good, unworthy, unlovable, undeserving, worth no more than spit, why wouldn’t I accept abuse? I would be getting exactly what I believed my life was worth.
The point isn’t to paint an exclusive picture of THE reason for such behaviors, but to demonstrate the obviousness of the role of belief in how we live and what we allow in our lives.
The only way behavior can deeply and permanently change is to knock your self-defeating beliefs off their feet and replace them with something better.
This can be done by questioning reality, or our interpretations of it – our beliefs. What you believe about reality shapes it. We don’t experience Truth. We experience our version of it.
The Truth doesn’t change. Things are as they truly are. But our interpretation of The Truth can change. The Truth has no impact on how we feel or live and behave. Only our interpretation of it does.
Here’s what I mean:
Suppose you walked into a party and saw your significant other leaning against a wall talking to a gorgeous blonde. Your husband or boyfriend laughs while touching her arm. She reaches out and touches his stomach with her finger tips as she laughs at something he whispers in her ear.
This gorgeous, sexy blonde hugs your man and kisses him on the cheek, very close to his mouth. He’s smiling as she hands him a piece of paper with her phone number on it. Then, just as you finally gather the courage to take your first step toward them, she slinks away as his eyes follows her lusciousness into the crowd.
How do you feel? Enraged? Destroyed? Both?
As it turns out, the blonde is a cousin your significant other hasn’t seen in years. She had updated him on all the goofy relatives and gave him the number of his favorite uncle who he’s lost contact with over the years.
Your husband or boy friend was hoping to introduce you, but you never showed up (you were too busy hiding in the shadows and misjudging what you saw).
But you see what happened? The Truth is completely unimportant and irrelevant to how you felt.
The only part of The Truth that mattered to you at that moment was the interpretation you gave it.
His protests may ring hallow and untrue if your belief system includes the “truism” that “men are liars and cheaters!”
Your beliefs about reality matter far more to how you feel and how you live your life than objective reality itself does.
So if you want to change your life, change your beliefs about it. Start there. Question what you believe about who you are, what you can do, how deep your potential goes.
Question the labels and limitations others have set for you. Shake the foundation of such beliefs at their very core. Let them quake and tremble under the hot lamp of inspection. Let their foundations weaken and crumble and begin to melt.
Then fill in the void with better, stronger, more powerful and uplifting beliefs.
Next Post: 5 Beliefs that will Radically Change Your Life Forever
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As Shakespeare said, “Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
Galen Pearl recently posted … Grace Did It!
Yes, Galen, thanks for the quote. What a genius of human nature, Shakespeare was. How we think is so absolutely critical. But how we think is determined by what we believe. I think that, more than our thoughts, is at the core of human behavior and improvement.
Thanks for the comment, Galen!
Hi Ken, a thoughtful post.
Not thinking negatively has been one of my core philosophies for many years. Whilst I have always been a skeptic of the positive thinking brigade – I have always believed that if you are constantly thinking negatively it will drag you down.
For instance yesterday my wife and I were discussing the eurozone crisis and what it meant for UK’s economy. Well it brought the whole mood down from what had previously been a very enjoyable lunch. I won’t be repeating that again in a hurry.
Chris Richards . Mindnod.com recently posted … Why you’ll never win an argument and what to do about it.
Hey Chris
Negative thinking is, indeed, a drag on happiness. And as you said, constant negativity is the antithesis of happiness. Still, I think happiness is more rugged and endurable than mere mood changes.
I think we can discuss important topics, and should be aware of such life-impacting issues, and still maintain a deep abiding sort of happiness. Sometimes our moods will be impacted. And that’s okay. Even immensely happy people cry at funerals.
I think it’s a mistake when happy people avoid important discussions for fear of how they will feel during or afterwards. Happy people need to risk mood-changing topics to be deep people as well. So I would suggest you continue having such conversations and just avoid dwelling on the negativity.
Thanks for the comment, Chris. It’s awesome of you to share. I would love to know what you think about my reply.
Have an awesome day!
Hi Ken,
I agree that we should have these discussions but in this case at the moment it is a bit sensitive. The whole discussion was too negative after what had been a great meal.
Chris Richards . Mindnod.com recently posted … What everybody ought to know about motivation
Great point, Chris! I fully understand that! Timing is everything. It’s like a disappointing ending to an otherwise wonderful movie. It just spoils the rest of it.
I feel like too many people jump to conclusions much too quickly…and it’s always negative. Is it because people just choose to believe nothing has a positive outcome? I guess it depends on the situation (the example you wrote was great).
I’m trying to become a more positive and optimistic person, but I know I’m not going to be perfect about everything, and feel like there will still be doubts lingering about certain things. But that’s a part of growing up I guess!
Alex Mangini recently posted … Iconic Quote: Albert Einstein [Everybody is a Genius]
I still remember sitting in my 6th grade class and feeling like he was the coolest teacher in the world because he sort of cursed in class. He wrote the word “assume” on the board and asked us if we knew what making assumptions does. I don;t know if anyone tried to answer, but I remember him drawing a line between the “s” and the “u” and another one between the “u” and the “m” so that it appeared to be three different words: ” @#!*% ” “u” “me” as he said assuming only makes an @#!*% out of you and me.
So often so true! Jumping to conclusions too quickly has that effect, right? The world is filled with critics, with nay-sayers and dooms-day prophets. It can be difficult to be the pillar standing firm in such winds, but the more we try, the stronger we become. So kudos to you, Alex, for working to be more positive and optimistic. We need more of that. We’ve always had the complainers and negativity and look what that’s done! Don’t beat yourself up over lingering doubts. We all have those moments and those areas. As a matter of fact, it would be foolish to be wholly positive about something we are only beginning to learn. But be optimistic that you CAN learn it and move forward toward your goals.
Thanks for your awesome comments here. Please keep coming back and improving on what I write! 🙂
You can build a better life with better beliefs.When something wrong happens in your life it is because of some negative belief back in your head.It may take time but searching for the real reasons can help you a lot.
In general, I suppose I would basically agree with you. But drunk drivers do sometimes and tragically hit positive people crossing the street at the wrong time. Stray bullets still hit sleeping babies in the inner cities from drive-bys. And floods and earthquakes sometimes rip through the lives of both negative and positive people, killing both.
In other words, on one level, I agree with your belief that what we think and how we think it, the attitudes we have and the habitual thought processes we engage in do indeed lay the foundation for the circumstances we experience. But not all circumstances are the result of karma or laws of attraction and the like.
Bottom line is that sometimes crappy things actually do happen to wonderfully decent and positive people.
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