“Fortune befriends the bold.” ~Emily Dickinson
Are you living an inspired life? I’m not asking if you hope to, but are you? Do you feel the energy and lust for a life being well lived? Or are you hiding in the shadows of the daily grind, one weary day after never-ending day?
I know someone who can help.
If you’ve been wandering around the internet long, peeking in on personal development blogs, you’ve likely bumped into Tess Marshall of The Bold Life. She’s been making a splash out there that is rippling through peoples’ lives far and wide.
I’m thrilled to have her here today in an interview I conducted with her by email last week. One of the taglines to my blog (there in the upper right-hand corner … see it?) is Grow with Courage. So Tess’s basic philosophy of life is something I resonate with very deeply.
It is with this in mind that I wanted to introduce her, her thoughts on living a bold life, and a new course she’s developed called 30 Days to Bold.
My Interview with the Master of Bold
Me: Thanks for being here, Tess. When we think of a bold life, I suspect many imagine a life filled with bungee chords and rock climbing, snow boarding, exotic travel and walking on hot coals. But we all have different passions, interests and personalities. Some are quite content with a relatively quiet life of contemplation, for instance.
Within the context of those differences, how would you define a bold life?
Tess: A bold life doesn’t depend on interests and personalities. For me a bold life is when a person does what it takes to speak their truth, walk their talk, and use their gifts and talents with joy, passion and meaning.
For example, it’s just as bold for a 10 year old to stand up to a bully as it is for someone to bungee jump for the first time. All acts of courage count and they’re incomparable. What a bold life means to me may look different than what a bold life means to you.
Me: I like that. Sounds like a bold life is when we live undaunted by our fears, to be courageous in the face of fear, to step into the life we most want to live, doing what we most love to do no matter what obstacles and challenges may stand in the way.
I love that concept, Tess. But it can be very difficult for people who fear risking that first step into the murky depths of the unknown.
Have you had times in your own life when obstacles mounted and courage and boldness was needed to step forward? I guess I’m asking if you come from a place of experience.
Tess: I’ve overcome some major hurdles in my life that have given me both courage and wisdom. I grew up with nine siblings and that alone taught me to go after what I wanted or needed! I also married when I was 17 and pregnant and was a mom to four daughters by age 22.
One of my daughters was born without a right hand and played sports in middle school, high school and college. That’s bold! I also got my bachelors degree while raising the girls. Then when they were in high school I got my masters degree in counseling psychology. My first year out of school I worked in inpatient rehab and the second year I went and did counseling in prison. Anyone whose crime was related to drugs and alcohol was required to see me.
After that, I decided to build my own private practice, wrote a book and began speaking professionally. When we moved to Arizona from Michigan five years ago I began to blog and coach others on bold and fear-less living.
I’ve also done a lot of volunteer work. I taught English in Brownsville, Texas, worked with women in prison, deconstructed homes in Mississippi after hurricane Katrina and worked in an orphanage in Guadalajara Mexico. Crazy, fulfilling and bold stuff!
Me: You’ve already lived quite an exceptional life, Tess. I’ve spent some time in orphanages in Taiwan and if Guadalajara’s orphanages are anything like those, they are in dire need of bold people with loads of love to offer. I think such experiences give your words credibility, so thank you so much for sharing that part of your life with us.
Well, you know what my favorite topic is. I think happiness drives us to do most of what we do (some philosophers and psychologists say all things). So this is my next question:
What would you identify as the connection between a bold life and a happy one?
Tess: If you shrink and hold back from who you are, it’s impossible to be happy. Some people live in fear because they believe change involves big leaps. We only need to take penguin steps! Take one small step today and then another and carry on. A journey begins with just one step. This course for me was bold itself. It required me to do so many things I’ve never done before.
I’ve learned so much. If I wouldn’t have moved forward I’d still be wondering if I could do it. Sitting around wondering and wishing and hoping…I’d be miserable. I wouldn’t be contributing or serving others the way I can here. No, we can’t be happy playing it safe.
Me: We’ve talked behind the scenes a little bit about your new course, and I have to say that it is itself a very bold endeavor and trust it will prove very successful–for you and those who sign on.
Can you tell my readers about 30 Days to Bold? What are you providing those who sign up?
Tess: 30 Days to Bold is an interactive, live course that begins on Monday February 18th. It allows us to support and personally get to know each other. We overcome our fears and grow through our courage.
The course is designed to take us beyond excuses, procrastination, worries and doubts…from fear to freedom. They’ll gain the confidence to take bold action.
Every Monday participants will receive a password in their inbox that will give them access to the course material, videos, eBooks and more, along with access to a private Facebook page with myself and other bold people in the 30 Days of Bold community. They will receive a series of personal videos from my awesome and courageous friends who will share their own stories and expertise on how they have overcome fear and how your readers can too. And more.
So what can my readers expect to get out of your course? How will their lives become bolder, better and happier?
Tess: Not only does 30 Days of Bold offer the tools to move beyond fear, it offers a map to self-love, faith in oneself, risk-taking, to positively anticipate our future and achieve a deeper appreciation of life and everything in it. We often look up to brave, bold and successful people. It’s time to become one of them!
If a person commits to and does the work in the course, just imagine these possibilities:
They can get clear and commit to what thy really want for themselves. Make fear work for them instead of against them. Go from imagining the worst to expecting the best. Unearth their innate strength and freedom. Find a sense of safety while living in a world of fear. Step beyond their limitations and experience their true selves. Be confident. Live without apology, explanation or apprehension. Receive encouragement and friendship from a supportive community.
It is life-changing if participants do the exercises, watch the videos, get involved in the community and apply what they learn. Anais Nin said, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
Me: Thanks so much for this interview, Tess. You are an example of courage and boldness and I appreciate all you do and wish you the best as you work so tirelessly to help others live more boldly as well.
Disclaimer: While I love Tess and love what she’s doing, I do have to say that I am endorsing her and the idea of boldness more than anything else. I just haven’t personally gotten behind the wheel of 30 Days to Bold to give it a spin around the block a few times for myself yet, so can’t endorse anything specific.
Still, knowing Tess, I believe it will be a wonderfully powerful tool for those stuck in the shadows of their own dreams and need a little extra push getting out of those shadows into the life you were meant to live. It is that confidence in her that inspires my own leap of faith here.
(Disclosure: If you enroll, I do get a small affiliate “thank-you”)
Afterthoughts
Bold living is living a life of meaning and purpose. It is doing what you love even if you don’t necessarily get paid to do it. It is stepping up and jumping head first into life by living fully in harmony with your core values and fundamental principles of decency, excellence and happiness. It is overcoming obstacles and learning to accept those that can’t be overcome, refusing to allow them to push you into the corner of your own life.
So be bold, step away from cowering fear into motivating courage. And love the life you were meant to live!
[…] A Bold Life is a Happy Life – meanttobehappy.com/ […]
I love how you explain that living boldly looks different for everyone. For a while, I was getting so caught up in the living-bold stories of others: moving across country, quitting their jobs, launching a successful business in a few months. In comparison, I felt like I was doing pretty lousy at the whole bold thing.
But you’re right – boldness doesn’t have to look like that. Boldness could be that I just finally gave my Icebreaker at Toastmasters on Saturday! Or it could be speaking up to create peace instead of faking it; or writing a post I’m afraid to write.
I love Tess’s story, and her “30 Days of Bold” looks amazing.. I’m so glad you interviewed her and shared here with us. 🙂
Kaylee recently posted … Whimsical Wednesday: The Joy of Window Markers
Kaylee,
Giving your icebreaker at Toastmasters is HUGE. I still remember when I did mine and I was in my later 30s! Learning how to speak in public is such an amazing learning and life changing experience. Congratulations.
I used to do a lot of professional speaking. It didn’t matter if I spoke to a small group of 15 women or several hundred. I loved it all. And again one wasn’t less important than the other.
And about the people who are traveling the country and doing “epic” stuff…don’t let them fool you. It’s not an easy life. I think there are more people “selling” the dream than there are people really getting rich at it. Don’t let them fool you! And the ones that are successful work hard at it and it doesn’t happen over night.
Check out my friend Syndee’s article on it here http://deeperground.com/do-not-follow-your-heart.
Thanks for leaving a comment. Keep rockin’ Toastmasters!
Hi Kaylee, it was my pleasure. I’ve known Tess since the very beginning of my blogging “career.” I stumbled into her through other blogs and found her passion electric and inspiring.
And I have to say that I agree with her 100%. Success does take time. Some are quicker at it than others, but so what! If you’re a professional attorney who took three or ten more years to get your law degree than another, you’re still both practicing law. In the end how quickly one does something is less important than how well it’s done.
I’ve been at this for coming up on two years now and am nowhere near ready to do it for a living. But that’s okay. It will happen when it happens if it happens. I’m working toward that goal, but love my life as is anyway, so would feel perfectly content to always blog part time. Would it be my dream job? Yes, it would. But my enjoyment of life, happiness in life and impact I try to make in others’ lives is not on hold until one day my dream job becomes a reality.
So I’m thrilled you’ve come to this conclusion yourself, Kaylee. It changes the way life is experienced as we work toward others targets in our lives. Bold is bold on our own terms.
And Tess is the master of living it, as she defines it for herself. Just as you are for you.
It’s amazing Ken! Thank you for letting us in on Tess’ philosophy of living life bold. Boldness can be manifested in living up to your beliefs, speaking up from them, embodying them.
Great post.
Sulagna recently posted … “Does He Love Me???” How to Stop “Needing” the Wrong Guy
Sulagna,
Thanks for reading my interview. I appreciate your kind comment. Do something bold today!
Tess The Bold Life recently posted … Say No to Fear and Yes to the Brave Person You Are
You always have such a wonderful way of summarizing things, Sulagna! “Boldness can be manifested in living up to your beliefs, speaking up from them, embodying them.” Love that! And agree totally.
Figuring out what moves us and spending time devoted to it (full or part time or whenever we can squeeze out a moment or two) is itself living boldly, doing what we love, finding passion in life, living up to a set of values that help define the ways we will make a difference.
Thanks for the comment, Sulagna. Always good to hear from you!
I love the idea of using 30 days to make a fundamental change in ones life. I also believe that a bold life is a happy one (or happier) as it forces you to do something different and to leave the mundane behind.
I’m currently embarking on a 28 day (I’m not slacking, it’s February) challenge where I’m going for a run every day this month. I have no idea how I’ll end up but it will force growth and change, both physically and mentally.
I agree with you Tess about embracing fear and using it to propel you forward. Often when you get stuck in to a challenge you would rather face the pain of fear than the pain of failure. I know I would.
Great read!
jamie flexman recently posted … 32 things I’ve learnt in my 32 years on this planet.
Jamie,
Running everyday is Huge! I quit smoking and started running 25+ years ago. I couldn’t make it half way around the track when I began. I ran a 10K six months later and finished dead last…but I did it! I continue to run 1/2 marathons today. It has been life changing for me. That one small decision changed everyone in our family. Run on!
Tess The Bold Life recently posted … Say No to Fear and Yes to the Brave Person You Are
Hey there Jamie,
I use to run (and still do on occasion), but bad knees put me in the gym on a bike or elliptical for the most part. But I do miss a good run. At first, it was a challenge to make myself go out and run when I just plain didn’t feel like it. But after a while (don’t remember if it was a few weeks, 28 days or longer), it became a passion. Until a torn meniscus and knee surgery largely sidelined me.
I think its a lot like that for anything we do, whether we fear it at first or not. After a while, it just becomes no big deal. Our imagined reasons for fearing it are usually a lot larger than the actual thing we fear.
So keep challenging yourself and keep growing. That in part is what this game of life is all about.
Great interview Ken. My personal experience is that most of what I spend time agonizing over never materializes anyway. Some great lessons here.
Neil Butterfield recently posted … Perk up your attitude – save your heart and joints
Thanks Neil. We do have a knack for imagining worse-case scenarios, don’t we! Then we feel a little silly when so little of what we feared actually materializes.
I wonder how many people out there never know how much of their fears never materialize because they let the fears immobilize them, never finding out that there was little to worry about.
Neil,
That’s so true for myself as well. And when I’m obsessing about something I’m doing everything but living in the present moment…when that’s exactly what I need to do. Future trippin’ is never a good thing to do. Thanks for stopping by.
Tess The Bold Life recently posted … Say No to Fear and Yes to the Brave Person You Are
Living a bold life could be so much fun! An honestly, I have lived that crazy life for a couple of years as well. But since I have married and I have a son, I feel more responsibility to the loved family that go down the hills with a bike. I don’t want to take the risk if something happened to me, I’m not only responsible for myself, so I understood it.
bonooobong recently posted … 3D nyomtatás – készítsen tárgyakat elképzeléseiből
So glad you shared this. I agree with you on so many levels. With a 6 year-old son, there are risks I just won’t take. My sense of responsibility to him prevents me from putting my life in jeopardy. But I think Tess’ point is that a bold life can include very physically safe activities that still challenge us on an emotional or intellectual or experiential level.
There’s no danger to my physical body by overcoming a character weakness or forgiving a long-held grudge. But there can still be substantial fear in taking those steps. That is a bold thing to do.
Learning to play piano, developing a skill, facing a phobia, whatever. All examples of bold living.
There are risks I still won’t take. I was hiking this morning and wouldn’t climb to the top of the mountain. I was alone and it was steep. My bones are too precious at my age;) I’m sure someone younger would have flew right up there!
Tess The Bold Life recently posted … Say No to Fear and Yes to the Brave Person You Are
Been there, Tess!
So far, age seems to affect intensity and degree more than kind. There’s not much I can think of that I would have done in my 20s that I wouldn’t do now. But I just do them slower and to a degree my older body will allow. 😉
I love the idea of living a bold life. I think I do to some degree, considering where I’ve come from and where I am today – by God’s Grace.
Tess has lived a remarkable life judging from this interview. I admire what she’s done with the kids and prisoners and wish her all the best in the future.
Anne recently posted … Confidence Despite Barriers
Anne,
Thanks for you support and lovely comment. I have had an amazing life. My daughters and Hubs are my best friends. I simply made up my mind to do my best and never give up. I also always felt like I never wanted to start over in a relationship with another man so I better make the best of it with the one I have. And it worked.
Tess The Bold Life recently posted … Say No to Fear and Yes to the Brave Person You Are
I really like that attitude, Tess. I think there are too many people who see divorce as the reason they don’t really have to try to make a marriage work. But a deep commitment to the marriage itself helps us weather difficult times and motivates us to make what we have the best it can be.
To have gone through what you’ve gone through, Anne, to have written a book about it, to have started (3?) blogs and to have so boldly declared you will not allow your past to condemn you to an ugly present and a future of agony is definitely bold!
Boldness is a relative word. I think it is the difference between where we were and where we are. For a professional scuba diver to take a swim at the local beach is not all that bold. But for a housewife who has always feared the water to force herself to stand in the water and watch the waves splash around her ankles.then her calves, then her thighs, then her chest is living boldly.
Thanks for the comment, Anne!
PS: Have you sold your other blogs yet? You had mentioned your desire to sell them off recently.
Thank you for your kind response Ken.
I haven’t sold those blogs yet. They’re still on the market so please let me know if you know anyone interested 🙂
I have 5 blogs and 2 other smaller ones.
Anne recently posted … Confidence Despite Barriers
Wow! That IS ambitious! I’ll let you know if I hear anything.
I like the distinction between standing up for a bully or bungie jumping both being bold. After all it isn’t what others think of it, the important thing is that we are being bold by facing one of our own fears.
I definately support the goal of being bold, expressing yourself boldly, acting boldly.. and taking the actions that you choose to take despite what others may thinnk!
-Ben
Ben recently posted … Make a daily practice of prioritizing your goals
Ben,
We all have our own bold steps in front of us. We all know what we need to do and want to do and we don’t have to pay attention to anyone else’s boldness unless of course it’s to learn from them and not compare;)
Tess The Bold Life recently posted … Say No to Fear and Yes to the Brave Person You Are
Nicely said, Ben. No matter how large or small our fears are relative to someone else’s fears, if we’re facing ours, working through them, not allowing them to determine the lives we lead, we are indeed living bold lives.
The only two problems with bold living (and really not problems with the boldness itself at all) is when people confuse boldness with recklessness or rudeness. I’ve known both. Some who have young children fling themselves into high risk adventures with bad stats on survivability. If that’s the way someone wants to live, I truly have no problem with it. Just don’t have kids who depend on you being around to parent them. I’ve also known people who had an “up yours” mentality, who thought, “I’ll say what I want to whoever I want in whatever tone I want” and thought that was bold, assertive living. But really, it was just rude living.
But to refuse to take counsel of our fears (a paraphrased quote from someone I recently read), or from those who would tie us to those fears is a wise way to live.
Thanks for the insight, Ben.
Great post Tess. My personal mantra is go big or go home. I love what you say here, thanks for sharing.
Wade Balsdon recently posted … How to avoid having seconds
That’s awesome, Wade! Go big or go home! I like it.
Thanks so much for this interview, Tess. And thank you for all the awesome replies to my readers. You have lived such a bold life of adventure, personal growth and service. And you still have so much left to give. You are an example of the words you speak and I also thank you for that example.
I truly wish you huge success from your 30 Days of Bold course because I trust it will be a source of strength and inspiration and direction for those still living in the shadows of their fears, empowering them to venture out and take their own lives in their own hands to shape it into the life they’ve always wanted.