Have you been agonizing over the perfect gift for dad? Are you experiencing the Recession Blues as you go from isle to isle, store to store wondering what to get, hoping to keep within budget, finding that everything within budget doesn’t quite seem to convey the message you want to send?
Following, are some ideas for keeping both your dad and your accountant happy.
1. Give a Hug … or a shoulder rub
Reach out and hug your father, especially if you’re a teen who “doesn’t do that.” The human embrace is a powerful thing. It conveys warmth and affection and closeness. It speaks words the mouth won’t. It speaks the language the heart feels when the will to give voice to those feelings is weak.
For the best effect, let the hug last just a bit too long, a little longer than feels comfortable. Dad might feel uncomfortable too (depending on dad’s personality and hug history), but the memory of the hug will far outlast the awkward moment the lingering hug may create in the moment.
If you’re a hugging family already (mine is), then try a shoulder rub instead. It can convey the same message as the hug.
2. Express Gratitude
Thank your dad for being the man he is (however imperfect that might have been. Chances are, he knows his mistakes much more clearly than his virtues). Specify a trait, quality, or moment from your memory that stands out as the thing about him you appreciate.
“Hey dad, remember that time when …” is a good way to start.
3. Demonstrate Respect
Men are funny people. We thrive on respect. Do your best on Father’s Day to demonstrate that respect. Your dad may have a unique way of interpreting respect. As long as it doesn’t violate any moral or legal code, give it a shot. It’s a great gift to a man, especially if he’s not used to getting it.
4. Lend a Hand
If your dad is cleaning the garage, pick up a broom and start sweeping alongside the man. No need to ask him what you can do to help. Also, no need to say, “Hey dad, I’m giving you this gift of helping you today.” Just start in. If he’s under the car, crouch down with a light or hand him the wrench. If he’s pulling weeds, start yanking the things yourself. It will mean a lot to him.
5. Ask for his Opinion
“Dad, I was just wondering what you thought about …” These can be powerful words to a dad who is likely pretty used to know-it-all sons and daughters who roll their eyes every time he opens his mouth. Such requests for fatherly advice powerfully convey interest, trust and respect. Even if you don’t take the advice and even if you know you won’t, listen respectfully and appreciate his offering. Many dads thrive on such opportunities to share their thoughts about things that matter to their children.
6. Clean your Room
Let this one be a metaphor for doing whatever it is your father keeps getting on you to do, but you don’t quite get done as often as you know you should. If it’s doing your chores or homework or treating your kid brother kindly, do it! It will be a wonderful day for a dad on Father’s Day.
7. Give him a Hand-made Card
Hand make a card (out of construction paper, a paper bag, cardboard, whatever. Then, in the home-made card, tell dad how he has positively influenced you. No need to mention his mistakes (we all make them!), it’s Father’s Day, after all. Just highlight the positive influence he has been.
If, for example, his teasing has made you stronger, simply state that he has made you a stronger person. You can save the complaint of methodology for another day.
8. Make him Breakfast (or lunch or dinner)
Going out to eat is overrated. Stay home. Fix up the house (or room where you’ll eat). Put up a sign made with crayons extolling dad’s virtues and your love and respect for him. Draw a picture on his napkin or write a short message to him and place it on his plate.
9. Ask Him about His life
Take an interest in him. Ask him about his life as a little boy. Ask him to tell you what it was like growing up when and where he did, in his family, with grandma and grandpa. Ask him about the war, his college years, his teens, his first date, how he met mom. You will likely make his day … and just may help rebuild a strained relationship in the process!
Afterthoughts
Rituals and celebrations can be wonderful tools for enhancing human joy. Dad’s happiness may not depend on what you give him this year for Father’s Day, but it can add a measure of joy regardless. Make such gifts annual expressions of your love and respect and gratitude for fathering you.
And here’s an idea: In the week leading up to Father’s Day, try out each of the 9 suggestions.
You just may add to your dad’s happiness on Father’s Day … and to your own happiness as well.
What gifts have you received from your kids that gave you the most joy?
- Or what gifts have you given that made you the happiest?
- Have you ever tried any of the suggestions above?
- How did they work out?
- I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
- If you liked this post, please share on your favorite social media site!
Photo by Pixabay
Hey Ken,
I usually do random stuff for my Dad like help him shovel his driveway when it snows or do some lawn and garden stuff.
I will be curious to see what I get this Father’s day from my son.
That’s awesome, Justin. I believe that all the good we do, even seemingly little acts of kindness, adds up and is accounted for.
As for gifts from children, my favorite Father’s Day gift to date was from my daughter when she was about 5 or 6. She wrote a message on a paper plate telling me she loves me or Happy Father’s Day or the like, then chewed up about 15 different sticks of gum, all different colors, and stuck them to the outer edge of the plate. It was the most adorable thing ever! She was so proud of it too.
Twitter: Fluffy_fox
said :
That is so cute!! I remember one time when i was about 8 i tried making my dad pankakes and failed but when he saw them he told me he like his burnt anyway and i was so happy
even though i am not a dad yet i can imagine how these little things can make someone happy
thank you for the post Ken 🙂
Thanks for commenting, Farouk.
Fatherhood is certainly life-changing. It is stressful and frustrating and deeply, deeply rewarding at the same time. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. And you are so correct. Those little moments, like when my 5-year-old jumps on my lap, throws his little arms around my neck and tells me he loves me, for no apparent reason, just because he does. are the source of so much joy. They truly are the most memorable and the most meaningful gifts of life. When I was younger, all I wanted were things with price tags that fit best in big boxes. Now that a few years have flowed beneath my bridge, it’s the deeper stuff of life that matters most.
Hi Ken
Just found your Fathers Day post from last year – you have some great suggestions! As a father of three, the best gift is to spend time with my kids (now young adults). My favourite Fathers Day gift was in 2011 when my son took me, and my dad, to an airshow. Three generations together for the afternoon – what could be better!
Thanks for sharing your ideas.
Geoff
Geoff Clarke recently posted … When Is Fathers Day 2012?
YEah. I am understand all the feelings behind doing this. the ultimate happniess which arises in heart after getting anything listed above from your son or daughter.
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Twitter: kennyfranz86
said :
My Dad has stage 4 cancer and this is likely to be his last Father’s Day. He isn’t very mobile so taking him out is not ideal. I’ve been crying into my pillow for 5 days because I don’t want to let him down and I have no idea what to get a dying man. If you have any advice I would greatly appreciate it!
Thanks,
– Kenny
So sorry, Kenny. My wife recently lost her father, so I’ve been front row to the pain and grief that losing a loved one like a father can cause. I know my reply here is way after the fact (my blog is not very active these days; I check it very infrequently, in fact), but I think the most important gift you can give your father while he’s with you is your time and love. The most important gift you can give him after he passes, is to live an honorable life of kindness, love, forgiveness, honesty, courage, and happiness. God bless you on this journey. My prayers and blessings are with you.