“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.” ~ Kahlil Gibran
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*Note: This is the last in a sub-series of posts you can see here and here. All three are part of a larger series on breaking free from the debilitating grip of depression.
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What we see in life depends on what we choose to see.
Certainly, we’ve been conditioned through our life experiences to see things a certain way, but we are free to replace those habitual patterns of thought with more affirming and positive ways of thinking if we choose to. The consistent work it requires is a choice we make as well.
One step in the process of beating back depression is to break free of our darker patterns of thought and interpretation. This requires opening our eyes to new ways of looking and new ways of seeing the world. The following, then, are 6 additional ways to see life and interpret it in ways that add meaning and purpose to it.
14 Reasons to Love Life (#9-14)
These are the last 6 reasons to fall madly in love with life. They work for me, anyway. I hope they do for you …
Reason #9: Life is an Outward Expression of an Internal Condition
It’s liberating knowing we are the sum of our thoughts, attitudes and behavior (some exceptions to that rule notwithstanding). If your life is in shambles right now, you can change the outside circumstances by changing the inside conditions.
Our circumstances largely (even if not completely or always, but usually in the long-run) reflect the quality of our beliefs, thoughts and actions.
If we want a better set of life circumstances, it’s exciting to know that all we have to do is change something inside to start the ball rolling. Now that’s personal power!
Reason #10: We Matter
You and I matter, in part, because we are part of the human family. Your absence would thereby diminish that family. You make a difference to it.
Still, we matter most of all because I believe we’re children of God. I believe that makes you something pretty darned special. I believe we’re endowed with the spark of the divine. That means we can become even more spectacular than we currently are.
My faith in that potential excites me and motivates me. It deepens my love of life, adding passion to the love affair I’m having with it.
Reason #11: Ssssh! We’re Taking a Test
Life, as I understand it, is a test. But it’s more than that too. It’s a test to see what we’ll do, how we’ll live our lives and treat others, for sure. But it’s also the classroom itself. It’s a lesson within a test, where we learn from the very act of taking it.
But unlike most other tests you’ll take in life, this one allows cheat-sheets. Copying is allowed as well. So are creative answers to life’s tricky open-ended questions. Innovation and experimentation is therefore encouraged within the framework of universal principles.
So to walk away from the test when the answers are being made available (even if effort is required to get at those answers) seems something like turning around just a few feet from a mountain summit we’ve hiked a thousand miles just to see.
Personally, I want to reach the summit. I want to run through life so I can have as much time as possible to figure out how to master it the best I can. I still have so much to learn about making it work well.
No-brainer disclaimer: Having said that, I feel compelled to add a note to those who have lost loved ones to suicide. While we may be in the middle of taking a test, I believe the Administrator of this Test holds those accountable who are of right mind. To me, those so distraught that they take their own lives don’t seem to be in an accountable state of mind. Besides, the Test’s Administrator is compassionate, I’ve heard.
Reason #12: The Little Things
There are jokes I haven’t laughed at, food I haven’t tasted, flowers I haven’t smelled, music I haven’t heard, places I haven’t visited, nature I haven’t stepped foot into yet.
I spent 6 months in Japan. I lived in Taiwan for 2 years. And that’s it. There is too much of the world I haven’t seen. Too many of the monuments I haven’t visited. Too many jungles and forests and beaches and mountains and other majestic and beautiful scenes I haven’t witnessed.
And while I’ll never experience all the world has to offer, I want to take a better crack at some of it while still here. Life is mostly made up of lots of little things. Learning to see and appreciate the small stuff makes life deeply meaningful and wildly more enjoyable.
Reason #13: The Big Things
Freedom, faith and religion, human potential and possibility, democracy, truth, wisdom. These and other big issues drive me forward in search of ways of talking about them that stir hearts and motivate steps. I want to live to learn how to do that better.
Big ideas move me. They add depth and passion and purpose and meaning to daily living. By filling your heart and mind with the words of great authors who write about such big ideas, you too can have that depth and passion fill your life.
Reason #14: There is too much Left Undone
There are businesses to start, relationships to strike up, Christmases to celebrate, people to befriend, children to hug, books to read, books to write, articles to post, my blog to expand, ideas to teach and promote, shortfalls to overcome, vacations to go on, people to love, sports to play, limits to break, comfort zones to challenge, challenges to face, character to build, courage to exercise, happiness to attain and life to live.
And so we’re all unfinished masterpieces. We are best-sellers with the last pages unwritten, waiting for us to write them. We are ball games with the final innings still in question. You are now up to bat in your own life.
So step to the plate and swing!
Life is an incomplete design. And we are the designers. We choose the colors, the pattern, the shape and size of the final product, a glorious finished work of amazingness. Granted, God gave us the materials and even some basic instructions to guide us, but we weave the pieces together to make of our lives what we will.
To mix metaphors (again), if the canvas of your life has been painted in dark, foreboding colors so far, pick up a new tube of paint. Squeeze it onto your palate. Mix in another. And splash it over the shades of gray that may have characterized your life to this point. It’s in you. And it’s up to you. Only you. Be the artist who creates the beautiful work of art on the canvas that is your life.
Such a masterpiece will take time. Mistakes will be made. They are expected. But the end product will be breathtaking and well worth whatever time it takes to create it.
Afterthoughts
And so now I invite you, my dear reader, with every beat of my heart and every hope and prayer and desire of my soul, to come with me on this wild ride called life. It gets bumpy, but life’s bumpy ride is well worth the bruises if we open our hearts and truly see with our eyes the amazingness that we are and that surrounds us daily.
Your Turn!
I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
Thanks you.
Ken,
Great information. Love your thoughts on seeing Life as a Test! I’ve heard all kinds of metaphors about Life as a Rollercoaster, Box of Pralines, Sports Game – but a Test is new to me! It sure can be a difficult Test sometimes when you reach the Crossroads.
I do agree with you – we should try anything we can in life, making it an adventure and seeing how we can put our Talents to use to make a Difference!
Johanna recently posted … Time Management Class Part 3: Dealing with Meetings
Thanks for the comment, Johanna! Yep, life has been compared to a lot of different things. But we really are being tested. We are presented with challenges and effectively being asked to demonstrate what we’re going to do with it. We then get an answer that strengthens us or weakens us. And then the next question, the next challenge, the next trial.
We tend to keep and build on what we use and tend to lose what’s left on the shelving of life, unused, unexplored, undeveloped. And what better way is there to develop our talents than in the service of humanity?
Ken I love the series …. Life is indeed a gift and it is so easy to forget that it is a journey, not a destination. When we learn to savor the moment, no matter what is happening life can become a glorious dance.
At times it feels like I am painting my life on the surface of water. The more fluid I am the more I can enjoy the process.
Thanks, Susan
Thanks Susan. I have to say, it went on much longer than anticipated when I first started writing that first day after I got the email that sparked it all. So true about the journey of life. Each ticking moment is another opportunity for us to shine, to grow and glow and expand and extend and laugh and pack meaning on top of meaning and make life an ever-widening circle of opportunity and joy.
I really like this: “At times it feels like I am painting my life on the surface of water. The more fluid I am the more I can enjoy the process.” What an awesome visual! That statement should be on a T-shirt or bumper sticker.
Ken: I liked this, “all we have to do is change something inside to start the ball rolling.” The key word here was change. I think that a change can be good for me sometimes because it is easy to live life on auto-pilot. When I live on auto-pilot it is hard to notice the little things that make life worth living. Honestly, I believe little things are what make life all the better.
Like for instance, reminding your wife how much she means to you. That is something little (Which I am sure you do), but it is easy to forget the little things.
Sometimes, I have a hard to remembering to notice and enjoy the little pleasures life brings, but I am getting better at opening my eyes. I think that meditation is a big key for me.
William Veasley recently posted … The Invisible Pair of Shoes
Great insight, William. Most of life is just a accumulation of little things. Most day-to-day living is filled with small decisions, seemingly inconsequential moments. Seldom are we confronted with the huge issues in life, though some are more often than others, of course. Still, most of life is lived in front of the comma rather than the exclamation mark. So the more we can enjoy those little moments, the more we fill them with significance, the more we use the day-to-day of life for personal growth and discovery, the more happiness and meaning and passion we’ll find life imbued with.
You’re right about the ease of forgetting the little things though. That’s the importance of surrounding ourselves with daily reminders: blogs, books, programs, church, books on CD, prayer and meditation, planning and connecting with your highest values during those planning sessions, goal-setting. One of the benefits to such activities is the constant reminder they serve to keep our values front and center and to remember to keep doing the little things. They add up pretty quickly to some pretty huge things after a while.
Awesome comment, William. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I am with you all the way, Ken. I love this line: “What we see in life depends on what we choose to see.” And from there, happily stems everything else. I too always have the “so much more to do” – the “miles to go before I sleep” syndrome. And imagine, with all that there is left to do, see, taste, love, give, nurture and enjoy, there are people who will actually choose to do the opposite – bear grudges, hurt others, feel vengeful and swim in their own egos.
I’ll always be in a trance with the beauty of your writing.
Loved your post at Marc and Angle Hack Life, too!
Love, Vidya
(Ah, the comment system has changed -The frills have gone!)
Vidya Sury recently posted … Great Expectations
You are too, too kind, Vidya!
Could you do me a favor? Could you let me know what frills have disappeared? I haven’t made any changes to the comments, so am a little concerned. Thanks!
I can’t agree with you more! It amazes me what people fill their precious time with. So much time and energy and life wasted by holding on to so much grief, so much hatred, so much indifference and apathy, so many grudges against so many people, the resentment and hurt and fear and vengeance and so much that stymies and limits and deforms the human soul!
Thanks for the insight, Vidya, my awesome example of awesomeness, you!
Really inspirational and helpful article, although I know that it is really hard to fall in love with life. Learning to control our emotions is a long long process and the result isn’t sure.
Gabi recently posted … Baden mit dem Hund
Hi Gabi,
It certainly can be tough to fall in love with life. But truly, it doesn’t have to be. It really only takes the tweaking of our perspective. Once the way we see the world and ourselves differently, the love of it come pouring in. Still, for most of us, it is a tough ride because so often there are internal stumbling blocks to making those perception adjustments. We have fears and doubts and anxieties about making such attitudinal changes.
But if we can set such concerns aside, just long enough to taste of the sweetness a changed perspective can be, it will start to become easier to take the next step and then the next toward a love affair with living.
But in the end, we do choose what will fill our minds. We can spend our time watching network news (with all the murders and car chases and problems and horrors daily reported), watch the Jerry Springer type shows, see the gritty underbelly of people’s low character on reality show after reality show and otherwise fill our heads with garbage.
Or we can seek the more noble and uplifting. Both surround us every day. Wars and ethnic cleansing and rape and abuse happen every day behind closed doors and in closed societies. But the beautiful is right there beside it, in even more abundance. Most people don’t steal and rape and kill and hate. Most people live good, honorable, decent lives, trying to do right, doing good to their neighbors and families and living out lives worth noticing.
We make choices every day to turn one on or the other, to tune into one or the other. We can notice the bad and focus on the good and still fall madly in love with life. It’s all about where we choose to turn our gaze and what we choose to put in our heads and what thoughts we choose to let stay there.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Gabi. It’s truly appreciated. I love piggy backing off comments, as this one plainly demonstrates! 🙂
Inspiring post Ken,
I appreciate your efforts for spreading happiness through your inspiring thoughts , and sharing wisdom through this blog.
Keep going Ken, You are on the right direction.
Naveen | Planetnaveen recently posted … Optimists vs. Pessimists – Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
Thanks so much, Naveen. That really means a lot to me.
Happiness is such an important goal in life. And I believe that as we learn more about how to get at it and keep it, the better we will become, the better life will be lived, the less misery too many today will have to endure.
There is so much disinformation out there about happiness, confusing the issue, making it difficult for people to know which way to turn to get at more of it. What it is, how we experience it, the difference between happiness and other feel-good experiences or states, how to make it less fleeting, more permanent, and so on. With better insight into the subject, the easier it will be for people to start the journey that gets there.
Everyone of these resonates with me Ken…and I believe, with you, that within each of us is that divine spark waiting to be nourished into a huge flame of joy and beauty and love.
We need to invest in ourselves, to invest our thoughts in lovely things and to recognize that in every moment we can choose love or fear.
As you say, there’s so much on offer. Life is indeed beautiful.
Thank you for another uplifting post.
Elle
xoxo
Elle recently posted … Who Else Wants A New Or Better Career?
I love it when I read a post that opens my eyes and challenges my thinking. But I also love ones that just keep resonating with me as I read them too. It’s affirming. So I’m happy to affirm your thinking about life, Elle.
Yes, the more we invest in ourselves, the better position we will be in (financially, spiritually, emotionally, socially, morally, in every way) to bless and serve and lift others. It truly is an investment that pays out huge dividends in ways much larger and more personal than the stock market can.
Life is beautiful, Elle. And you make it more so by the work you do and the life you live. Thanks so much for your kind words. They mean a lot to me.
The little things and the Big Things: for some reason those things spoke to me in your post. Ken, you’ve poured so much authenticity, love, and compassion into this series of posts. This post series is truly a work of art: thank you for giving so much of yourself to us.
Steve-Prosper With Aspergers recently posted … Fatten Your Life Account With This Aspergers Help
Hey Steve,
I have to admit that I have poured a lot into this series. I truly hope it hits home with those who most need it. I thank you from my heart for your words here, my friend. My prayer go out to you and your work with aspergers.I have to admit to not ever having heard the term even until following one of your links here. You’re a good man and I appreciate that example.
That right when you said, I mean we believe in God have a plan for our life “we can become even more spectacular than we currently are”.
And everything really change when change from inner ourselves.
Life really is experience. Life will up and down but we take responsibility and growth from today.
And you said more and more things that we need to live with more lovely and strong.
Thank you
Thank you Chu Nam! I do believe God is in our lives, that we can reach up and connect and be led by the hand down paths that can prove to be amazing opportunities for personal growth and joy.
You said this very nicely: “everything really change when change from inner ourselves.” It’s so true that with inner changes come external changes in our life’s circumstances … at least eventually. Sometimes changes come slowly as histories sometimes have to finish playing out before new scripts fully rewrite new lives. But still, the best way to change the outside is to start with the inside.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and reactions to the post.
Inspiring! Honestly, nowadays I always suffer from the lack of motivation and lust for life, I almost feel decadence. These kind of tips could help me to find my way back to the joy of life, I really like your series.
Lara recently posted … How are teeth implants made?
I truly hope you do find your way back to more passion and lust for life again, Lara. It begins with the recognition of the need and then the desire to get there, followed by those actions (mental or perceptual and behavioral) that lead there. One step at a time. As steps are taken, and your heart starts to stir a little, there will be the buds of something close to excitement that start to open. Then more steps will take you to more buds of something resembling passion until life will again feel beautiful to you.
Thank you so much for sharing yourself here. I truly believe the tips (one of them or some of them or taken as a whole) can move you closer to that motivation you’re lacking right now. Apply them, perhaps one by one, and see what happens … and let me know how it goes, okay?
I laughed when I clicked on your blog and saw the title. Although I know this series was prompted by your concern for someone else, I bet you have had a lot of fun writing it, and I bet that your own appreciation of life has been heightened by focusing on all these reasons to love life. I know mine has by reading it!
Galen Pearl recently posted … In a Heartbeat
Haha! I thought about using the same title for each, followed by Part II, Part III and so on, but decided to go with similar, but different titles instead. This one was my favorite.
And while what prompted this series was concern and compassion for the struggles a growing number of people are experiencing with depression, you’re right about it being fun to write (especially this last 3-part segment). It’s always good to be reminded of what in life makes it such a thrill ride. And then to do it with the depth and detail I lent this series added depth to my own sense of the thrill of life.
Thank you Galen. So glad to have provided value.
PS: I love your avatar photo. There is such contented joy in your face.
I love your metaphor about life’s canvas. I can absolutely see that dark canvas splattered with bright paint. I love how that imagery demonstrates the impact a small positive thought could make on life. A small spot of bright yellow would stand out remarkably against the dark gray. Then one brush stroke at a time, life can be changed into something vibrant. Beautiful.
Speaking of beautiful, what you wrote is a work of art in itself, Kimberly!
Thank you so much for sharing such eloquent enthusiasm for the concepts here (this was my favorite, by the way: “A small spot of bright yellow would stand out remarkably against the dark gray. Then one brush stroke at a time, life can be changed into something vibrant. Beautiful.” Your words are beautiful!).
Life truly is a canvas, but not a blank one. It comes with its own paint already splashed all over it. Our families and experiences all added strokes from the brush of our lives to that canvas. But like you said, we’re not stuck with whatever colors or picture was painted my others when we were young. We can choose now to alter whatever images, dark or otherwise, came pre-painted on that canvas we now stand in front of. We are the artists, brush in hand, with a palette of whatever colors we wish to use at our disposal.
So let’s paint something amazing!
I am in love with this site. now I will be a regular reader and i will publish your stories here in my blog and my group with due credits to you.
pls join my group and start posting :
http://www.facebook.com/groups/vijaysappatti/
You made my day, Vijay! So glad you like what you read here. It’s from my heart to yours. I look forward to seeing you again. Thanks for sharing that with me. Means a lot. And thanks so much for sharing the ideas I write about at M2bH with your circle of influence as well.
Have an awesome day!
Reason #13: The Big Things
big reasons move me as well! they inspire me and give me an energy to fight back
thank you for this wonderful series ken
My pleasure, Farouk. I agree, it’s the big ideas that move people the most, that lead to big movements and revolutions in human possibility.
Ken,
This is such a great list and a great way to start a morning. I especially enjoyed the comments about our outside reality being a reflection of what’s within. We hear this sometimes, but how many of us actually believe it? It we held to this with conviction, more lives would be changed for the positive.
Thanks again!
Joshua Tilghman recently posted … The Esoteric Meaning of Solomon’s Temple
Thank you Joshua,
So true — if more of us truly believed the outside followed the inside, there would be a lot more work on a lot more insides! The result would be just as you say: “more lives changed for the positive.”
Thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts.
I really enjoyed reading the blog and especially all the comments. Really a moment when falling in love with life is very easy. I am just sit and bask in happiness.
You sound like you’re basking in the happiness groove, Erik! 🙂
I learn so much from the awesome people who leave such thoughtful and wise comments as well. So I know what you mean!
Thanks so much for stopping by. And so glad you enjoyed the read.
This changed my life — thank you!
Every wave of Life ocean how beautifully mirrored, simply turned dump. That leave touch to insight. Blessed with a precious gift from your blog Mr. Ken.