The Power of Doing
The previous two posts in this series dealt with the power of thought and the power of belief in achieving happiness. 10 Ways to Act Yourself Happy introduces you to some of the most essential habits of action that can put a brighter polish to your happiness as you travel that road in this life.
You see, some people wait for happiness to drop on them like so much rain from the sky. They think they just need to be in the right place at the right time under the right cloud. And so they wait, wondering when the clouds will form, hoping it will soon start raining down the happiness they long for, frustrated that even when it comes, it’s only a light drizzle that doesn’t seem to ever last very long.
Others take specific action to create happiness, to draw it to them by doing those things that produce it. You can guess which one is more likely to live a happy life.
Happiness is an Action Verb
Inaction is one of the universal anti-principles to living – it produces apathy and boredom, laziness, anxiety, ill health and depression.
Happiness, on the other hand, requires action. We must do certain things. And as we do them consistently, over time, we reap the benefits of a happier life. Action takes effort. Doing requires determination and desire.
But doing can also lead to being.
10 Ways to Act Yourself Happy
1. Do what’s Important to You
What do you love? What inspires and motivates you? What are you passionate about? The more you fill your life with what’s important to you, the more happiness you will experience.
What is truly important is often sacrificed at the altar of the urgent or the unimportant. Other times, what’s important simply gets in the way of what’s most important.
So be sure to schedule time for your highest values – perhaps family, spirituality, health, friends – only then fill in the rest of life with what’s less important, but matters to you too.
2. Do Random Acts of Kindness.
Doing acts of service to others, whether large or small, has several benefits to our happiness. Have you ever experienced any of the following?
- It simply feels good to do good.
- Serving others adds a sense of meaning and significance to life. We feel like we matter, like we are leaving some corner of the world better because we lived in it.
- It gets us out of ourselves. It shifts our focuses from “me” to “you,” from inward-looking to outward-looking. It’s the principle that if you focus on a toothache, it’s going to hurt more. But when you lift others, you lift yourself as well.
3. Do things that Matter
Whether engaged in acts of service or building up a company that provides value, or raising your children with love and joy and character, a life of meaning and purpose is a happier life than the alternative.
So what are you waiting for?
Go write a book or start a blog. Save the whales or build inner-city basketball courts. Get into politics, seek religion, work on a cure for cancer, donate to a cure for cancer, do volunteer work, start a thank-you letter writing campaign, get a teaching credential, become a foster parent or a Big Brother, enlist, repair a relationship, raise kids of character, clean the beach, recycle, become an entrepreneur, become a philanthropist.
Keep in mind that what matters to one may not matter to another. But to grow happiness, you have to do things that matter to you.
4. Do Now. Don’t Procrastinate. Act Decisively.
My dad once sent me the following little rhyme. I memorized it some 25 years ago and it has stuck with me ever since. It goes like this:
Procrastination’s a funny thing.
It only brings me sorrow.
But I can change at any time.
I think I will … tomorrow!
The more we procrastinate needed change, the more the pain produced by not changing compromises our happiness. The more we procrastinate a great idea, the development of a desired trait or talent or habit or quality of happiness, and further we push off onto the fading horizon the joy that such fulfillment would have produced.
5. Do What’s Right
There will be more on this in the last post of this series, but bottom line is that integrity to high values and the growth such integrity requires of us, makes us feel better about who we are and the kind of person we are becoming. It is difficult to be very happy if you can’t look the mirror straight in the eyes and like the person staring back at you.
6. Do. Act. Move.
Study after study has demonstrated the link between activity and happiness. We were meant for action. People with sedentary lifestyles where sitting is the predominate “activity” every day, die earlier and are more prone to depression than those with active lifestyles.
So get up. Move. Pick up a ball and dribble it. Drop and pound out 5 or 10 or 50 pushups. Walk. Run. Climb. Hike. Ride. Kick. Tumble. Get up and go. You will be happier for doing it.
7. Do Until You Are
I’ve shared elsewhere that I was a shy kid. I didn’t want to be, so acted as if I wasn’t. Inside, I was still that shy kid, but I forced myself to be social and extroverted … until I was. There’s still a closet introvert lurking inside, but I’m also very comfortable speaking in front of large crowds, socializing with others and otherwise engaged in very extroverted activities.
Doing until you are (or acting as if you already were) means to act out the behaviors that those with the qualities you desire have. So if, for example, happy people smile a lot and you want to be happy (and studies bear this out), then smile a lot.
8. Do the Work of Building Strong Relationships.
We are social beings. And as has been famously said before, when on death’s doorstep, no one will regret the extra time they failed to spend at the office. But they just may regret the relationship they didn’t heal. So why wait until death comes knocking?
Start now. Build that strained relationship with mom or dad or with your spouse or children. Become a better friend or neighbor. Develop the qualities and priorities and behaviors of someone who values the relationships in their lives. Treat others as though this day would be your last encounter with them. Love them. Cherish them. Forgive them.
And reap the rewards of a happier relationship and a happier life.
9. Do Seek Professional Help … as needed
Sometimes the only way out of a deep hole is when someone else lets down a little rope. If you struggle with thoughts of suicide or hurting yourself or others, get professional help … today. If you are battling other serious psychological difficulties, keep coming here, but don’t substitute it for a competent mental health care professional.
Click here or here and here for a good place to start.
10. Do Things Outside your Comfort Zone.
It is so easy to get comfortable with the way things have always run. We usually fight change because most of us fear it. If the familiar is comfortable, the unfamiliar is equally uncomfortable. And most of us try very hard to avoid discomfort.
But ruts and monotony and eternal patterns of sameness rarely produce increased levels of happiness.
So change things up. Learn something new every day. Take a class in public speaking. Go back and get a college degree (or another one). Learn to speed read. Strike up a conversation on an elevator. Take the next step toward developing a new habit or breaking an old one.
As you push against the comfort zones of your life, picking up new skills, improving old ones, the sense that life is more than the mundane, that there is a bit of adventure in the living of it, can make you a happier person.
Please visit the other posts in this series for more on becoming happy!
1. 10 Ways to Think Yourself Happy (the power of thought)
2. 10 Ways to Believe Yourself Happy (the power of belief)
3. 10 Ways to Act Yourself Happy (the power of doing)
4. 10 Ways to Live Yourself Happy (the power of character)
Summary
So, if you want to be happier, stop procrastinating and start doing good to others. Make life count by doing things that matter and mean something to you. Build the relationships in your life and push yourself to grow and learn and overcome. And seek professional help as needed. And always return here to M2bH to learn more on our shared quest for joy and meaning and happiness.
So, what do you think?
- What other essential actions/behaviors to happiness have I left out?
- Have you had success – or failure – with any of the actions listed above?
- Do you agree or disagree with any of them?
- I would truly LOVE to hear from you!
- Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.
Photo by Pixabay
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It feels so much better to just do than to procrastinate, but it is such a challenge sometimes! This is good motivation.
Oh good! I’m thrilled you found something helpful here, Wendy.
It’s all about the immediate path of least resistance, isn’t it? I say “immediate” because we all know what often happens when we keep putting something off. It eventually bites us.
Still, I think sometimes it just feels good to lie down for a bit. And sometimes it feels good to lay down our responsibilities too. The most important thing is to make sure procrastination is not the norm and that those things that are most important take first priority.
I tend to procrastinate big projects that don’t appear to me to have much of a payoff it its completion. Cleaning the garage, for example. I know it should be done, but talking about being unmotivated to do something! We’ve talked about cleaning that thing for maybe the last 7 summers. And still there it sits cluttered as ever.
What do you have to fight the hardest to get done without procrastinating?
Hey Ken,
I totally agree that we have to get moving in order to create good feelings in our body. I am a doer by nature and my doing eventually leads to my being something.
Justin! Always a treat to see you stop by!
I really think we were made to move. And moving does something to our energy, to our physiology, to our brain activity and to our chemistry that opens us up to more mental acuity, more focus and concentration, more clarity and a greater ability to pursue difficult objectives, and to greater feelings of peace and joy.
As always, my friend, thanks for sharing your thoughts!
By the way, I was just wondering, what type of activities do you engage in that helps put you at peak performance?
Nice rhyme about procrastination. I will memorize it tomorrow 🙂
I like you inspiring story about acting as an extrovert while being an shy kid until you made it.
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much, Marc!
So, you’ll memorize it tomorrow, huh? You are too funny!
Yeah, I used the same process that I used to overcome shyness to overcome my fear of heights and needles. “Acting as if” until you no longer have to act can be very powerful and transforming.
Be good, my friend!
These are awesome ideas, Ken. I like to think of myself as a happy person most of the time, but I think everyone needs a little push once in a while and that’s just what an article like this can do. Thank you! 🙂
~Natasha
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words, Natasha!
And welcome to M2bH! I’m so glad you found us! I think we are all more or less in the same boat. We experience smooth sailing for a bit, then hit some current that makes things a little scary, and every once in a while hit a storm that threatens capsizing our craft.
It’s ideas like these that help balance the boat a bit and keeps us upright during stormy weather.
Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. Don’t be a stranger! 😉
hello ken
how are you?
thanks for approaching the subject of happiness from a different persepctive
i’ve never thought happiness could be broken down as an action verb.
i also subscribe to the school of thought of doing leading to being within the context of this article
for me: random acts of kindness stir up happiness.it creates a genuine smile on my face and it just feels good to do good.
avoiding all forms of procrastination ensures i am in control of things/situations which in turn brings about happiness.
taking that step to build relationships through networking with people definitely brings about happiness because there are common interests, ideas……
thanks for sharing
take care and enjoy the rest of day
Hey Ayo! I was rummaging around some old posts and found that I never replied to your comment here. So I’m replying … 6 months later! 😉
Hope all is well with you, my friend!
Ken,thanks for this article.I find procrastination is indeed such a bug hard to wipe out of one’s life for good.I realize though that when extremely well motivated and determined its quite easy to “say no” to procrastination.
Thank you so much and welcome to Meant to be Happy!
Procrastination is so universally practiced, I wonder what kinds of things would happen in the world if humanity collectively eschewed the practice. Impossible given human nature, but just a thought.
Still, I also wonder if we sometimes use the term “procrastination” to falsely describe simply delaying a task because its not high on our list of priorities. If something is more important to me than something else, from the inside, I know I’m simply choosing to use my time in one way instead of another way. Bur from the outside, it very well may appear that I’m a flaming procrastinator.
But your point is well made. There are certainly times when a task needs to be completed within a particular period of time and I have found that I can also push it off until the last minute leaving me with an inadequate amount of time to complete the task well.
The trick then, like you said so well, is to get extremely motivated to get up and fight the inertia!
Very well said ken. I liked the last tip 🙂
10. Do Things Outside your Comfort Zone.Most people like me need to get out of comfort zone.
Karen recently posted … What is the key to success
Hi Karen!
Most of us live much of our lives in comfort zones. And that’s probably a good thing. But it is important to push on them once in a while, perhaps not all at once, but regularly. It’s pushing up against the outer edges of comfort zones that we grow, after all.
Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!
I loved the tips! Happiness IS an action verb! And my favorite DIY project! Thanks Ken!
Vidya Sury recently posted … The Haiku Challenge 2012 – Day 3 – Paint the image
I like that: your favorite do-it-yourself project. So true! No one can “make” us happy. And yet so much of the culture speaks in those terms, “making” or failing to “make” each other happy. As long as we think that way, our happiness will forever be at the mercy of others’ behavior and attitudes. But to realize it’s a DIY job is to take responsibility for our own emotional states. All very self-empowering stuff!
Thanks for the insight, Vidya!
I love reading things that confirm what I’ve been doing! 🙂
It started many years ago with dogs. I tend to get those who have issues coming to me. I’ve always used movement as opposed to a military dog training style like many other trainers resort to. It’s worked wonders.
I’ve also used it for myself, since I was young. And now I apply that mentally and physically to coaching habits in myself first and then others.
Another inspiring article. Mahalo.
Jt Clough | Big Island Dog recently posted … Walking on Clouds a Mauna Kea Perspective
Me too! Reading something that confirms what we think or do can feel nice. I like the way you use yourself as the guinea pig to see what works and before using it in coaching others. There’s nothing like experiencing personal development first hand to teach it with passion, confidence and honesty.
Loved reading this comment! And thanks for coming by and sharing your thoughts and experiences!
I love this series!
I would have to agree that action, in all its many forms, leads to more happiness. It’s funny how I’ll procrastinate on things that I know will lead to more happiness – things that aren’t even very hard. I often wonder about that.
I, too, was a major introvert. It wasn’t until I made myself get out and actively network in order to find a job that I got to the point of loving meeting and being with other people. And I feel great when I connect with great new people like you, Ken!
Thanks for your wonderful messages!
Paige | simple mindfulness recently posted … How to Deal Effectively With Difficult People (and Some Other Secrets)
Hi Paige! So glad you like the series. I had fun writing it. Oh, to be human and have all the idiosyncrasies and foibles common to us all! I suppose almost all of us procrastinate to some degree on some things. Why? I’ll get back to you later on that one. 😉
That’s so interesting to hear that you were once an introvert too. I love meeting new people too, but have to admit to my introverted self still being alive and well. It’s not a sense of discomfort or ill-at-ease around crowds or anything like that. I just like being with myself, thinking, creating, discovering, writing, reading and researching, And still, I find joy in both by-myself time and with good people like you!
Thanks for the comment, Paige!
Ken…
Awesome series. I’ve really enjoyed it.
As I read and re-read your post, I thought about how so many of us don’t even know what it is we love doing. Hard to believe but true. I know there was a time in my life when I lost a sense of what it was that made my heart sing with joy.
Do until you are is a terrific phrase. My son once had a principal who told the students to smile even if they didn’t want to. Eventually, when they smiled it would actually be genuine. That is an important take away message for me. An area where I can use some practice.
See….your thoughts gave me a little nudge and now I’m going to take the next step. Thanks!! Fran
fran sorin recently posted … Why Your Passions Infuse Your Life With Creativity and Peace
[…] that you are, in fact, meant to be happy, that happiness is not only a possibility in your life, but that it is a predictability as you apply those […]
Hi Ken, that is so true, delaying or postponing something that you really want to do is not good. Go out , move and focus on something that you really want. I love reading your articles and have already shared it with my colleagues. Thanks for keeping us motivated.
I’m thrilled to be able to provide ideas that you thought worthy of being shared, Lynne. We all benefit from regular reminders. I know I do. Living a life of passion, one you are excited about getting up every morning to get started living is a wonderful way to live.
And it doesn’t necessarily have to be filled with high adventure and exotic travel. Part of what fills my life with passion is my family, stretching to be the best dad and best husband I can be. I work hard to live my life in a way that allows me to feel like I’m doing something valuable with my time here on earth. It’s the daily little things.
It doesn’t have to be a lifestyle change either. It can be as simple as changing the way we look at and interpret the meaning of what we already do, right? That’s the beauty of it.
Thanks so much for the comment, Lynne. Have an amazing day!
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