“Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.” ~Benjamin Disraeli
Sometimes, for some people, an extended hand, a gentle voice, a nudge, an invitation or a reminder call is all that’s needed to get us off the couch of life and back into the game.
But sometimes, for some of us, we need a little tough love to push us into taking action. For such people, at such times, the gentle voice is ignored. The nudge brushed off. The invitation left unopened.
Sometimes forthright honesty delivered in the form of a verbal shake of the shoulders is needed to wake us up, to motivate us to step out of the gray comfort we’ve become accustomed to, into the brilliant eye-stinging daylight of possibility.
Sometimes Happiness comes after the Climb
Happiness is not about trying to make you feel good all the time. It doesn’t always feel good to climb mountains over rugged terrain. Legs burn. Arms ache. Shins bleed. Feet blister. Toes bruise. Shoulders knot and backs grow weary. But that’s how you get to mountaintops.
Happiness is not always in the valley. Quite often, it’s at the summit after a long climb.
This is a post meant to get you climbing again, not to tell you how special you are, even though you very likely are! Those posts have their place. I’ve written them. I’ll write them again. But not this one today.
This is another kind of post. Direct. Bold. In your face. Challenging.
So click away if you’re not ready for some straight talk. Today, the gloves are coming off.
In the meantime, start with these …
5 Bad Habits you have to Stop … Yesterday!
1. Stop whining and do something!
Life can be spent moaning and groaning about all the unfair disadvantages, gross injustices and horrible circumstances it has condemned you to live.
Or you can get up and do something about it. Fix it. Change it. Write about it. Get others involved in overcoming it. Or change yourself so that you experience the circumstance differently, thereby transforming the experience of it.
But ultimately, the responsibility is yours. The condition you find yourself in may or may not have been your making. But if you want to change it, it is all yours to change. The more you whine and complain about it, the more you will likely sink into the mud of inaction. Your life belongs to you, so own it and go make it better!
2. Stop crying about what was or wasn’t and live!
Stop living life in your rear-view mirror. The past is done. It happened. It’s over. Let it go already. Now go do something more with it. Change the direction and trajectory as needed. Get into living now, in the moment, in the daily experiences of which life is made.
Stop wishing for a different past and create a different reality, starting today. Stop regretting and start doing. Stop focusing so much on how you feel about what has or hasn’t happened to you and start building something of your life in this moment, something your future self will look back on and be proud for having started.
3. Stop waiting for life (or luck or dad or God) to bail you out!
Are you waiting for the cards to finally be dealt right, or God to finally favor you, or dad to finally show up at the last minute to bail you out? Well, just stop it!
Go ahead and keep praying, but live your life as though it was up to you to make God’s blessings show up. Get to the work of living. Get to the work of growing. Get to the work of fashioning the life you dream of. It falls on your shoulders and on no one else’s.
The clay of your life is in your hands. But you have choices: You can let others print their will into the patterns and attitudes of your life. Or you can leave it out to dry, hardening around the DNA of your family culture and handed-down worries and fears.
Or you can pick up the ball of clay that is your life and take 100% responsibility for the end product. One attitude puts you in the role of victim. The other gives you power to shape your own life. So stop waiting and start shaping the clay you’ve been given into the life you were meant to live!
4. Stop wasting time and start respecting yourself more!
Turn off the TV and sign out of Facebook and stop watching other people’s creativity on YouTube and go do something creative yourself.
Get off your butt and get involved with people. Serve them. Work with them. Find a creative group of people you can associate with. Feed them and feed off of them. Create a frenzy for living life to its fullest.
You don’t have to jump off mountain tops or trek around the globe. Just do something meaningful with the time you’ve been given.
It can be as simple as joining a book or bike club, or a Bible study group, or an explorers or science club, or the local PTA, or a service organization, or a group of people dedicated to, well, whatever! Just do it! Stop waiting for others to open the door of your life to coax you out. Just get up. Walk over. Open. Go!
5. Stop waiting to feel loved (supported, forgiven, liked, appreciated, apologized to, whatever) before you start loving (supporting, forgiving and appreciating)!
Those who wait for others to change before granting them forgiveness are condemned to do a lot of waiting in their lives. They give their power and self-directive control to others. They forfeit self-determinism for a scripted reactionary life.
Don’t let how you feel be the excuse you use to justify living life somewhere south of your potential.
Don’t wait to be loved before loving. Don’t wait to be served before serving. Don’t wait for life to align just right before you truly begin living!
Afterthoughts
When you become this proactive and self-responsible to the point that such self-defeating habits largely fade to a memory, you will be well on your way to living an extraordinary life of happiness and accomplishment and purpose and meaning.
But be sure to come back next Monday because I’m not done shaking your shoulders! 🙂
Over the course of the next 5 weeks, I’ll be challenging you to step up your game, to pick up your feet and climb to higher ground. I promise not to yell … much. But I will challenge you in no uncertain terms to step up your game and live life at a higher altitude.
Are you ready for the climb?
Come back regularly to check out my personal progress with each of the challenges as I daily catalog my triumphs, failures and discoveries in the comments (starting next week with the first formal challenge, that is).
Read: How Will You Measure Your Life?
YOUR TURN!
- In what area of your life do you need a kick start?
- Where have you been lagging?
- What do you do to motivated yourself?
Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Check out each of the Challenges in the series below:
Challenge #1: What Do You Have to Complain About?
Challenge #2: Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?
Challenge #3: Are you Finally Ready to Forgive?
One more thing:
“Turn off the TV and sign out of Facebook and stop watching other people’s creativity on YouTube and go do something creative yourself”
Good stuff Ken,
Thanks for sharing. I’ll pass along on FB and Twitter to those still logged on – maybe they’ll log off and do something.
Dan
Zen Presence – Ideas for Meaningful Living
Dan Garner recently posted … When Your World Is Falling Apart- 7 Steps to Recovery
Thanks Dan! Haha! I’ve been spending a bunch of time on FB lately. Sprucing up my M2bH Page and launching The Happiness Movement, which starts as a FB page as well (meant to branch out into other projects as it grows).
Thanks for the comment.
Ah, what areas do I need to kickstart? Well… I’ve been in California for vacation since May and I’ve been slowing down all the projects I had on my to-do list:
Finishing my eBook, The Compact Guide to Charisma, Confidence, and Being Well-Liked
Reaching out to influencers offering my free help
Work on an extensive scholarship that pays for my last 2 years of college
Setting up an e-course on growing your web presence and blog
Quite the large tasks!
Vincent recently posted … 40 Things I Wish I Knew Sooner (The Compact Guide to Life)
Sounds like you have some exciting projects going on, Vincent. Good luck with the scholarship. Filling those things out can be such an ordeal. As a high school teacher to seniors, I’ve written many a letter of recommendation for scholarship applications.
Hope the California vacation went well. You were kicking it in my backyard! I’m a SoCal guy near Disneyland. Did you make it this way?
I’m actually still on vacation here haha. I’m only several minutes away from there!
Vincent recently posted … 40 Things I Wish I Knew Sooner (The Compact Guide to Life)
… [Trackback]…
[…] Read More: meanttobehappy.com/dont-read-this-post-unless-youre-finally-ready-to-take-action/ […]…
Needed this post so much. haha
I need a kick start in the exercise part of my life. I’ve been sleeping in and not going on my morning walks…
Hi Mia. I’m so glad the post brought you what you need!
So, have you been getting up earlier and going on your walks since reading the post? Responding to your comment several days later has the benefit of holding you to the commitment. 😉
Come back Monday for the first official challenge. I’ll be cataloging my own successes and stumbles as I accept the challenge as well. I’ll update every day int he comments.
Hope to see you back to keep my feet to the fire this time! 🙂
Hi Ken,
Yes indeed … fine thoughts which I heartily agree with. People often look for ‘excuses’ … push the blame somewhere else. Be responsible for your own life and extract the most out of it. Thank You.
Be good to yourself
David
Mid Life Coach. Listener. Value adder.
David Stevens recently posted … Are You “in the Game”? 4 ways to play your best
Hey David,
I know I do! My first instinct is often to blame everything but myself for where I am or why I’m doing (or NOT doing) whatever it is I’m tripping over.
But when we take responsibility for everything in life, we wake up to so much more that we can do to change the parts we are unsatisfied with.
Take care, David!
Brilliant post Ken. Time for everyone to rise up and stake their claim.
Neil Butterfield recently posted … Fulvic Acid, A Natural Anti-Fungal
Thanks, Neil! Yes, we do put off taking such stands, don’t we! It’s so easy to melt into the status quo and do what we’ve always done. But so much more is all just a decision or two away.
Love this: “It doesn’t always feel good to climb mountains over rugged terrain. Legs burn. Arms ache. Shins bloody. Feet blister. Toes bruise. Shoulders knot and backs grow weary. But that’s how you get to mountaintops.”
It’s true. We all have “stuck moments” sometimes. I have just come down from one of those moments myself. But we have the responsibility to get up and take action. It’s finding some small way (or big way) each day to move toward what we want. Hope you’re well, Ken.
Bryan Thompson recently posted … How to Let Go of Expectations and Find Real Community
Hey Bryan!
It’s really summed up nicely in the Disraeli quote I started with: “Action may not always bring happiness; but there’s no happiness without action.” If there’s room for growing our happiness, it won’t take place sitting on the couch.
Thanks for the comment, my friend. You’re an inspiration!
Very true mate, stop waiting for life to happen eh
Yep! Thanks for stopping by!
Good stuff bro.. well thought post..
Ravi recently posted … Habits of Rich Guys, Which Poor Don’t Follow
… [Trackback]…
[…] Read More here: meanttobehappy.com/dont-read-this-post-unless-youre-finally-ready-to-take-action/ […]…