“No one ever finds life worth living – one has to make it worth living” ~ Winston Churchill
To remind readers, this is the last in a 5-post series that has been my answer to an email from a reader I’m calling “Maria” who struggles with depression. See Part I here, Part II here, Part III here and Part IV here.
And so I present my dear email friend (and any of you with similar challenges), 14 reasons to “keep on keeping on.” If the 1st post was all about throwing out a life-line to the drowning, this one is meant to provide you with reasons to kick your feet.
14 Reasons to Live
In a way this list can be seen as a suicide note in reverse. I don’t mean to make light of such things, but to suggest a set of reasons why life can be chosen, why one might write a letter to the world, claiming the reasons the decision was made to live.
Reason #1: Life is an Adventure
I learned something valuable about life while on a 16-mile hike in the Narrows at Zion’s National Park a few summers ago.
Most of the hike was in ankle to knee-deep water. Early in the trek, the rocks were clean enough for good traction.
But later in the hike, everything became slippery with moss and algae, making each step a risky proposition. I fell. A lot.
At other times we were forced out of the water, up steep embankments in search of a way around some impenetrable bend in the winding river. At several spots along the way, we had to literally swim before we could get our footing again.
Mosquitoes bit and shins banged against rocks below the surface of the river. By the end, my feet were blistered and 5 toenails eventually fell off.
But there were also stunning rock formations and breathtaking scenes of pristine beauty. In places, the river was flanked on either side by 500 – 1,300 foot sandstone walls, from 40 to 100 feet apart. They were imposing and impressive.
I realized that life is a lot like that hike. It can be hard and painful, even damaging … but it can also be one of the most beautiful experiences imaginable.
The reality is that it’s both experiences at the same time. While I was banging my shins against submerged rocks while stumbling forward, slipping on the moss under unsteady feet, the place I was slipping in was profoundly, sublimely, even sacredly beautiful.
It simultaneously hurt and inspired. My reaction to it was the result of that part of the experience I chose to pay most attention to. So it is with life, even when it hurts. Life is a marvelous adventure … if we are open to seeing it that way. There were some in our group who vowed to never go back again. I’m eager to return
This is the difference: I felt the rocks and the blisters and the ache in my legs. But I experienced the profound and sublime beauty of the moment because that’s what I chose to see.
And so our pain consumes us when we focus on our pain. But it is softened to the degree our hearts and minds are filled with the beauty that surrounds us instead as we focus on other parts of the climb.
Reason #2: Things Change
Life does not stand still for very long … even when we would like it to.
The economy expands and contracts, weather changes, relationships evolve, we age, people are born and die and others move away. Prices change. Incomes change. Memories change. Style and fashion and trends come and go. Bear markets follow bull markets and politicians flip and parties flop and life moves on in an incessant ebb and flow of undulating activity.
So while life is changing all around us, under us, above us, everywhere, at all times, we can take confidence in the prospect that we will change as well. Our feelings will change and our lives will change, even if it seems we’ve been stuck in neutral for a long, long time.
And, in the end, it’s good that life works that way. Changelessness is really stagnation no matter how large or small the pond is that stagnates. Eventually it all leads to the same contamination. So in the long-run, change is good. Even essential. That knowledge can keep us going when things get monotonously difficult to bear.
Reason #3: We Change
I am not the same person I was when I was 14. I am not the same person I was just 5 years ago, for that matter.
We learn. We grow. We experience people and places and cultures and ideas and beliefs and circumstances that call us to take steps into the unfamiliar and unknown. We expand and evolve and stumble and fall, and get back up and step forward again.
That’s the way things were meant to be. That’s how we develop into the people we were meant to become. That’s how we can discover the parts of our lives that are like barnacles on sides of ships, creating drag, slowing us down. That’s how we can make headway into our own personal development.
The process can be slow, but it can be very exciting as well. So ignore the guilt for not being where you think you should be and get excited about traveling uncharted territory into your own life.
Reason #4: There is so much to Learn
If life feels flat and lifeless, turn off the Xbox, TV and computer and go learn something new.
Develop a passion for learning: about life, others, yourself, relationships, the world, what makes it tick, what makes people do what they do. Get passionate about learning why nature and the human body and the cosmos acts and functions the way it does. Open your eyes to the universe and let it take your breath away.
Yearn to know the mysteries behind that universe and its Creator. Hunger to know about music and art and success and love and history and science. Let the world and its people and life inspire and fascinate and excite you.
There is so much to learn, to explore and to know and so little time in which to do the learning and exploring and knowing. As you cultivate a desire to know, you may also grow in your desire to live as long as you can to increase the possibility of learning as much as you can.
Ideas matter. Seek to understand those ideas that matter most.
Personal Note: I haven’t always had the passion I now have to learn. At first, I forced myself to read because I knew I should. But the passion grew directly out of the doing.
So, peak your interest in things by reading and watching educational material, by going online and finding information about topics you want to start learning about. Get curious. Explore the world of ideas. Perhaps you can start here: TED Talks. But whatever you do, start!
As you become increasingly passionate about learning and experiencing all life has to offer, you’ll find less time to soak in the dank liquid of sorrow and more joy in living as you discover the joy of finding most of life deeply interesting.
Afterthoughts
You may have noticed my list of 14 Reasons fell woefully short of the promised number. Well, yes and no. Yes, this post failed to produce. But no, because the next two posts will finish off the 14 Reasons as indicated in the title.
Tricky? Not meant to be. Deceptive? I suppose, but not intentionally. It was just too long and so broke the thing into three pieces. Effective in getting you to come back? The boat is still out on that score. 🙂
Still, my passion for life is in the movement of it. Life is in constant motion. I want to tap some of that motion and see where it takes me. My hope is that you can be inspired enough here (or in one of the next two posts in this sub-series) to take some kind of leap of faith into the roiling waters, and float down river a bit to see where it takes you.
The changed scenery may be enough to excite something in you to take the next step, then the next, and to start to see in life a marvelous glow about it, something that draws you deeper into the wonder and glory of it all, and away from its darkened corners.
Please let me know either way.
YOUR TURN!
- What makes you passionate about living?
- What gets you up in the morning excited to be alive?
- What moves you?
And please Like this post if you found value in it. Much appreciated!
Image by Pixabay
Great Article about Appreciation!
Here’s another great article about “How to make yourself happy in 15 Minutes”: http://fresh-start-blog.blogspot.com/2012/06/how-to-make-yourself-happy-in-15.html and “1 Simple Trick on how to love your work” http://fresh-start-blog.blogspot.com/2012/06/1-simple-trick-on-how-to-love-your-work.html
Johanna recently posted … A Quick Test to evaluate how resilient You are!
Thanks Johanna. I appreciate that.
The fact that my mom and dad are still living and that I need to support them and give them the daughterly love they need keeps me going. I know that there are really rough and hard times, but from those, I learned to stand strong on my feet and embrace whatever my life’s going to give me. We fall, we stand up and go on. 🙂 Keep in inspiring people like me. 🙂 Thanks!
Taylor recently posted … learn to play the piano so much more
That’s such an awesome way to look at life, Taylor. Some people crumble under the weight of living. Some people recognize the source of strength that come from living the challenges of life and develop an appreciation for them. The differences between the two attitudes makes all the difference as life inevitably comes to pick a fight from time to time.
So glad you find inspiration here Taylor. Stay tuned! By the end of summer I should be launching a new blog called The Daily Thought Blog. I’ll post daily tidbits, much shorter than what I write here. The tagline is “daily inspiration for inspired living.” I hope to continue inspiring readers here and in shorter clumps of thought there.
Many times we reach a point of “what’s the point of doing anything?” The thing that keeps me going and pushing is that I know that if I do I can make my dreams come true, my dream of empowering others to reach their goals and aspirations. This was a great post of about appreciating life and the things around us.
A life without dreams, or one wherein we stop believing dreams can come true, is a darkened life indeed. The bigger the dream, while keeping it believable (which will be different for each person), the more inspiring it can be as a source of motivation to us to keep at it, building, learning, growing, experiencing, loving, living.
Thanks so much for the comment, Olabode! I truly appreciate it! And so glad you also find the dream of empowering others to reach their goals and aspirations so motivating. Keep at it! Life just moves along much better when we all pick up a paddle and do some rowing!
That’s what I’d call a motivational post! I wish I would have found your post earlier, a friend of mine committed suicide 2 weeks ago…
Christine recently posted … Neuer Freizeitsport: Speedminton
Thanks Christine. And so sorry about your loss. As deeply troubling something like this is, I just hope you’re not taking on any responsibility in the form of guilt for this. That’s a common side effect for friends and family of suicide. Remember, hind sight is 20/20, but no one has hindsight until after the fact. So mourn. But refuse the impulse to carry the responsibility for the act. In the meantime, my belief is that your friend is finally at peace. Perhaps there can be some comfort in that thought.
I admire and enjoy your “defense of life” series. This is a pro-life platform I can embrace. You are making a difference in the world, that’s for sure. Maybe that’s part of what keeps you going!
Galen Pearl recently posted … Just For Fun
Thanks so much, Galen. I figured that a blog with happiness in its title ought to eventually address depression and suicide head on at least once. Somewhere in its archives, people fighting to rise to even the minimal level of joy ought to be able to find something at least fairly comprehensive on the subject. And my readers email to me that started the ball rolling was just so sincere and moved me to do this. Originally it was going to be nothing more than a single post. That’s what I envisioned at first, anyway. But as I started typing, the thing took on a life of its own. And so I went with the flow!
But yes, as you well know, being able to reach out into other peoples lives on something of a fairly intimate basis, or at least dealing with very intimate subjects that can transform the way life is lived, is truly a blessing and a motivation to keep coming back to it every day.
Thank you for your kind words, encouragement and example, Galen. You’re awesome!
Since you stopped at 4….I am making my own reasons to live, here.
#5. I love myself. I have faith in me. I can accomplish anything I decide to.
#6. Family – the sharing, the heartaches and mostly, the unity
#7. Friends – I see them as the family I can choose
#8. I enjoy my work and the projects I take up voluntarily
#9. I have purpose – writing books, charity, helping others
#10. Each day is a gift to make the best use of that I can
#11. I know everything happens for a good reason. I believe things can only get better.
#12. I can always find the answer to any problem.
#13. I have “miles to go before I sleep” and I am looking forward to the journey with excitement
#14. I am happy
Lovely post, Ken. You’re the guru at healing the heart while nourishing the mind.
Vidya Sury recently posted … From Flatulence to Flat
I love these Vidya!
I added 4 more to the list in yesterday’s post and will add the rest in a few days. Some of ours overlap, but some don’t. Thanks for adding more reasons to get excited about life!
While I’m not an adherant of the belief that all things happen for a reason (as in part of a divine plan) — and I’m sure I’m in the minority on this point — I absolutely DO believe we can turn virtually all things into some kind of good. (I do believe some — and maybe even most — things happen for a reason, just not everything, to get technical about it ;)).
I’m with you 100% on the rest, though! I especially like the idea of each day being presented to us as a gift. Imagine how differently a very many people would live their lives if they thought that way!
Such a simple but fantastic post, Ken! I think you nailed it on the head when you mention that there is so much to learn! This resonates strongly with me. If someone is bored or unhappy in their life, time to get excited! Shift your focus and learn someone that you have always wanted to do!
Brendan
Thanks Brendan. I htink most of life is is governed by some pretty simple rules. It’s humanities regular failure to adhere to them that causes all the problems.
I’m a teacher by day (when it’s not summer vacation, that is), so am deeply involved in the passion to learn adn to spark a desire in others to pick up that passion.
“If someone is bored or unhappy in their life, time to get excited! Shift your focus and learn someone that you have always wanted to do!” Well said, Brendan!
that’s my personal Favorite
Reason #4: There is so much to Learn
learning is the best way for self improvement
the more you knew the more powerful you become:)
Hey Farouk!
Learning is certainly the essential first step to any personal growth. Without the know-how, there is at best haphazard efforts that will likely fail most often to produce consitent results.
Ken, I share your point of view. Life is very interesting.
The moment life get’s boring is the moment you need to move on to something new. Life isn’t made to be stagnant, you should always seek out new experiences, learn new things and grow.
Demian Kasier recently posted … Fix Your Todo List in 6 Steps
I like your thinking here, Demian! Learn something new, grow, stretch, become something more than you were yesterday. Imagine what life would be like by the end of it for someone who had been dedicated to that way of living since their youth!
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your inspiring thoughts here!
I love this post, to me that is the essential 4 motivations to live. If we choose just to let life pass without any challenges, we have in my opinion misunderstood the whole point of living: Moving to a higher level than we were when we came into this world:
For me the answers to you questions are:
What makes you passionate about living?
Making live a trip of exploring and adventure both geographical and mentally
What gets you up in the morning excited to be alive?
The knowledge that each new day has something new to offer, something new for me to learn.
What moves you?
My desire to make my life better and thus inspiring other people to do the same and curiosity.
Thanks for an inspiring blog
Helle
Best Motivation Books recently posted … Fail Forward – I love it
Thanks Helle!
I really like your answers to the questions I asked at the end of the post. A life dedicated to learning, inspired by curiosity and adventure, exploring the world and the mind, making life better and reaching out to teach others along the way, is a pretty impressive way to live life.
Keep it up — You’re an inspiration yourself!
Life is an adventure for First world lazy @#!*% while the starving third world heathens see it as @#!*% .
Hello Anubu.
Certainly those in the poverty-stricken parts of the world are suffering unimaginable horrors. But how does that provide you with such a broad brush to paint all those living in developed countries with? I get your “heathen” sarcasm, but I think you take it frighteningly too far. That kind of thinking can lead to horrific reprisals by those justifying their behavior by thoughts such as “All (you fill in the group) are heathens or lazy or whatever.
Besides, while certainly a minority of people for sure, the Olympics were a good example that not everyone stuck in a poor country lives without adventure.
But perhaps your larger point, the one buried under sarcasm and sweeping generalizations, is that not everyone has the opportunity to live life as an adventure, that many people live under oppressive regimes and brutal dictators, that too much of the world lives in squalor and that large segments of the world barely eek out a living … and far too many don’t. They die. Terribly.
That’s all true. Some pressure doesn’t last long enough to build moral muscle. It twists and contorts, crushes and breaks the heart and soul of those under its weight. Some pressure lasts too long and people are crushed out of existence.
There’s no denying it.
But because some, even many, live in deplorable and even evil sets of circumstances, this doesn’t mean that some aren’t better able to deal with life than others. I’ve lived in Taiwan and visited parts of the country where there was some serious levels of poverty, even if not as bad as other parts of the world. I’ve met people who were bitter and angry and others who were filled with life, who were genuinely happy. Could they be happier with better health and better conditions? I’m sure of it. But the very fact that some whether horrific conditions better than others suggests that there are better and worse ways of dealing with those difficulties.
I hope your circumstances are not so horrible. But whether they are or are not, your attitude about them will matter. How you think about the life you live will go far in determining how happy you can be while living it.
I’d love to hear what you think of this reply. Hope it helped clarify.